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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what would you do?

117 replies

Magazian · 15/11/2019 12:46

Yesterday I took my 3 week old to the gp as he had a slight cold, fever and was vomiting. They said it could just be a cold but to take him to be checked out at A&E so I did and they said it was probably a viral infection but they would keep him in to monitor him overnight.

So I tried to phone boyfriend (babies dad) and he didn't answer. But when I tried again his phone was off.

This morning he messaged asking why i kept calling him. I told him and he said he was busy helping his friend (who he knows fancies him and has tried to make a move on him multiple times) with an assignment.

Would you be suspicious about this? Or is it just hormones? And wwyd?

OP posts:
Oldfail · 17/11/2019 16:27

OP the government does provide alot of useful information. You could have found this out with a simple google search

www.gov.uk/register-birth/who-can-register-a-birth

You may want to get familiar with this website as it will provide you with lots of useful information as you grow up.

Pardonwhat · 17/11/2019 16:33

70isaLimitNotaTarget

The compassion oozes from your very bones.

OP - I’ve been in a very similar position.
Grow a back bone and walk away.

Magazian · 17/11/2019 17:55

I'll look at the link later. I met up with him and he told me to give him a chance. And he said I didn't even love him.

My mum said to not talk to him if it isn't about son. And she said she knew it wouldn't work out (she called him a bad influence etc).

OP posts:
feelingsinister · 17/11/2019 18:03

Honestly, you both sound like you need to grow up and quickly. He sounds like an immature boy because that's what he is, he's 17 ffs!

Concentrate on you and your baby and let him get on with dicking around. Your baby is only 3 weeks old and he can't even be relied upon to answer his phone when the baby is ill. You can't rely on him at all.

JorisBonson · 17/11/2019 18:27

Your mum is giving you sensible advice and you're ignoring her.

Pardonwhat · 17/11/2019 18:28

Magazian

Your mum sounds very wise. Listen to her.

Oldfail · 17/11/2019 18:49

My mum was right on multiple occasions about my exes as much as I hate to admit it.

Mums usually do know best (usually)

Is he now emotionally blackmailing you saying that you dont love him... excuse me while I do a massive eye roll.

Dont entertain being with him. You dont need the extra angst in your life. Keep him informed by all means and do supervised visits when it suits you.

Who knows a few years down the line when he has grown up and so have you then your relationship may re kindle. For now that tiny human is and should be your no 1 priority .

Get clued up on what you are entitled to, what you need to do legally and how you are you plan to get by day by day.

I assume you have a health visitor, or going to weigh groups. They can be very helpful for information.

Magazian · 17/11/2019 19:37

Yes I have a health visitor. He messaged again asking if I would get back with him and when I said no he blocked me again.

OP posts:
holidayhelpp · 18/11/2019 00:12

I really don’t know how to say this....so I won’t.

Good luck, op.

Foldinglaundryisnotforme · 18/11/2019 00:20

I seriously hope this is fake. I had my first baby at 16 and was more mature than this

AwkwardFucker · 18/11/2019 01:55

OP.. I’m sorry.. but grow up. You are 19 years old and you have a newborn baby. Your posts honestly make you sound 14.

Move on. I’m not actually going to call your boyfriend a loser because to me he just sounds like a 17 year old child. Which he is. Stop talking to him unless it’s to do with the baby. Don’t reply to any messages that aren’t about the baby. Ignore his lame attempts at manipulation by telling you he’s going for full custody, he won’t get it. He’s a child, and your baby is 3 weeks old. You can explore 50/50 or whatever when the baby is much older, and he is an actual adult ready to be a parent.

Look after your child and stop putting all your emotional energy into this person. He’s not ready to be a parent. And unless you grow up quickly, I’d say neither are you right now.

Magazian · 18/11/2019 20:07

Today his older brother has been messaging me telling me to get back with him.

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 18/11/2019 20:11

Jesus. Put your phone down maybe?

Pardonwhat · 18/11/2019 20:17

The last reply from OP was so expressionless and so.... vacant almost that I’m starting to believe this is a wind up.

If not then, OP, you sound very vulnerable and frustratingly immature in a way that I can’t quite express.
Stick with your mums advice and please try and mature for the sake of your baby.

Magazian · 18/11/2019 20:25

I posted too soon. I meant to add that I am getting annoyed that because I said no hes getting people involved. But he also messaged me saying he'll just get a new girlfriend but I haven't replied.

OP posts:
IGot5OnIt · 18/11/2019 20:28

Turn your phone off, ignore the drama for a few days and focus on the baby, I guess the dad knows where you live so he can come round if he wants to see the baby, yes he's being immature but he's 17, that baby is as much his as he is yours

Ginger1982 · 18/11/2019 20:50

FFS...this reads like a bad episode of EastEnders!

DITCH HIM FOR GOOD!!

Who cares if he was helping the girl or cheating or whatever. The fact that he knew his child was in A&E and he said he had to go to work/college speaks volumes.

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