to be outraged by Nativity casting as 'Innkeeper's wife'!!!

[PIPERHELLO]

Daughter (6) has been cast as 'someone's wife' in the Nativity play at school. 'Innkeeper's wife' to be precise.

Err...hello!?

This is fucking not OK! In 2019, to be identified as 'someone's wife'.

Normally I am pretty relaxed about all things school, and I certainly feel sorry for he teachers' workloads, but come on people!? This is 2019 - no woman should be identified by her relationship to a man!? SURELY!

Itching to call them out on this. Itching!

"Isn't it interesting that in those days the woman was only regarded as 'the wife' rather than a person in her own right. You know, things are very different now don't you? When you grow up you might choose to get married, but you will still be YOU, and of course woman and men can do the same jobs now."

surely she is an Inkeeper too? the roles should be "The Innkeepers" . I quite agree with you OP. .

but come on people!? This is 2019 - no woman should be identified by her relationship to a man!? SURELY!

Surely it is reasonable web we would only know her because of her association with a man.

Now if she owned the inn and we only knew him because he was married to the owner, it would be reasonable to refer to the "innkeeper" and "inkeeper's husband" when talking about the characters.

(I am assuming here that in the nativity story the wife wasn't a shareholder)

That's not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

The only time I've ever had an issue with Nativity casting was when my youngest was in his final year of pre school.
He as Down's but went to a mainstream pre school.
The tradition always was that the eldest boy that year was cast as Joseph and eldest girl as Mary.
My son was the eldest boy and he was cast as the donkey!
Even the Ed Psych was outraged!

My dd was the innkeepers wife last year, after being either an angel or sheep in previous years. In years to come, when I look back at the photos of her, the last thing I would be thinking is how bad it is that they called her the innkeepers wife. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. In that role, she is the innkeepers wife, as it would have been 2000 years ago. What I would be thinking is how happy my dd looked and how proud she was to lead Mary and Joseph around the school hall to the stable. My dd was over the moon to be chosen as the "innkeepers wife". The innkeeper just had one thing to say "no room" whereas she had to tell the couple about the stable and show them the way there. She even helped the donkey on his way when he stumbled. The innkeeper just followed behind.

But that's what she would have been called. It's not really an up to date kind of play, I think it's a bit much to get outraged about this. Mildly irked maybe... Or a tad peeved...

Should have known. It's a feminist thread on AIBU. Yes, YABU on every level. You will look like a loon if you make an issue of this.

In every day life my husband is described as ' jill's husband' or I'm described as 'Pete's wife' because in certain situations that's all the information that is needed. Dh has his own business, like the inn keeper. I occasionly help out but his customers ,who I dont really know, may refer to someone if they are referencing me as Pete's wife or ' the boss' wife'
A woman or man isn't going to be pivotal or have equal billing in every story. In this case it was about the inn keeper and he has a wife. Even in 2019 it is not an odd concept.
I cant get my knickers in a twist about this tbh.
I'm just glad I dint have to go to school plays and have to donate old sheets to make smocks for shepherds!

Bloody hell.
This has to be a joke.

MyDaisyField I just read yr post out to DH -it cracked us both up!
Just as well the RNLI has women now or that could have been been a sexist outfit

Get a grip

Yawn.
Meanwhile, in the real world .........

...women and girls are still suffering from all kinds of microaggressions and everyday sexism because not enough people see that the small things add up and have an impact.

Thank you OP and all posters for amusing me on this dull Friday - absolute comedy gold.

But seriously OP your daughter is 6 - shes hardly going to be emotionally scarred forever by this one time she was labelled as a fictional characters wife in a nativity play. Just let her enjoy being in the play with her classmates!

In my real life I am a wife and I don't feel offended as being referred to as Mrs Attillathenun - its simply a term referring to the relationship I have with that bloke living in my house

It's 2019, surely Joseph and Mary should be checking in with a self service touch-screen. DD can then have the part of Paramedic #1 when Mary goes into labour.

Alternatively enjoy the tradition of history and have your own conversations about how gendered roles have changed over 2000 years.

I was very proud when DS1 was Alien#1, he had the most lines

because it was the year 0 and a completely different social and political system pertained than we inhabit now.

True. So def a conversation needed with your DD pointing this out.

And Tbh is probably just a convention that has evolved in time of a translation of a translation of a heard story. So just words and not a historical fact.

I wouldn't be OUTRAGED because I just don't think it rates that. But think you could mention it. Maybe they'll look at you like you're mad.

But it could be done better than "innkeepers wife" .

I think "outraged" is a bit strong, but I see your point OP. Why couldn't they just be First and Second Innkeeper, or Innkeeper and Landlady, or Innkeeper and Cook, or Innkeeper and Assistant (all without genders specified) instead?

Frankly, I'm "outraged" by the number of people who are claiming that the play should be "historically accurate," and that at that time she would have been referred to as the Innkeeper's wife, so that's how it should be now. Leaving aside the fact that we'd have to debate whether the Bible itself is "historically accurate", have you ever been to a nativity play that is even biblically accurate?

To be honest, there shouldn't even be an "innkeeper's wife", as she is not in the Bible (let alone lobsters, tomatoes, etc---even pigs are unlikely to have been there as the population in the area would likely have kept Kosher). If we're going to make up characters to add more speaking/individual roles, they might as well not contribute to casual sexism any more than the original story does on its own.

Oh please give over

It's historically accurate.

(assuming there was an Inn, and Joseph and Mary and the birth of Jesus)

It's 2019, surely Joseph and Mary should be checking in with a self service touch-screen. DD can then have the part of Paramedic #1 when Mary goes into labour.

That's a play waiting to be written!

#justiceforSandra

@Alltheprettyseahorses - you were a STAR? Got news for you, I was THE star who everyone followed to Bethleham.I wore a Special Star outfit which was wired up to twinkle (cue=chorus singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) when I pressed a button.
But when my Big Time came and I pressed the button, I didn't twinkle .
Didn't twinkle then and haven't twinkled since.
Scarred for life, I am

The innkeeper has a very important line.
Your DD has a non speaking line, but will be stood next to him. Yes him, as the. Bible says he was a man. This allows anyone watch who you tell to watch out for your DD to instantly know who she will play in the scene.
Stop making ripples that don't need to be there.

Oh! I get it. The local butcher has a lady who helps him. She wears a ring and I believe lives in the same house as him and there is a young girl who also helps and calls her mum and him dad So the lady must be related to him! However, I am not allowed to possibly consider her as his wife. Got it. At least I think I have.

#justiceforSandra

YANBU the role should be Inkeepers. Two of them. Obviously they're a couple...both are inkeepers.