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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be outraged by Nativity casting as 'Innkeeper's wife'!!!

1000 replies

PIPERHELLO · 15/11/2019 09:26

Daughter (6) has been cast as 'someone's wife' in the Nativity play at school. 'Innkeeper's wife' to be precise.

Err...hello!?

This is fucking not OK! In 2019, to be identified as 'someone's wife'.

Normally I am pretty relaxed about all things school, and I certainly feel sorry for he teachers' workloads, but come on people!? This is 2019 - no woman should be identified by her relationship to a man!? SURELY!

Itching to call them out on this. Itching!

OP posts:
marvellousnightforamooncup · 15/11/2019 10:16

I was the Inkeeper's wife one year at Primary School. It was the main speaking part of the play, along with the Inkeeper, I was so proud. The only bad bit was having to hug the boy playing the inkeeper.

(irrelevant personal nostalgia)

loobyloo1234 · 15/11/2019 10:17
Biscuit
PsychosonicCindy · 15/11/2019 10:17

Not 2 as in inferior by the way. My ds was recently witch 3 in a play and I didn't feel he was inferior to witch 1 or 2.
Anyway yanbu.

AryaStarkWolf · 15/11/2019 10:18

Exactly OP. Use it as a learning/teaching tool. As a female child she will grow up facing a great deal of low level sexism that will continue into old age, that most people might not even register. I think it's great you feel like this and can talk to your daughter about it as she grows up. Forewarned is forearmed and all that.

Totally agree, it is a minor issue in the grand scheme of things but it is a massive amount of minor things that end up enforcing the gender "roles"

bobstersmum · 15/11/2019 10:20

Is it not a bit rubbish to be identified by your occupation? I mean, if we're looking for things to be offended by, I'm sure the innkeeper might be offended to be referred to as JUST an innkeeper. Didn't he have a name?
Can't get worked up about it myself!

MyDaisyField · 15/11/2019 10:20

At dc’s school about 5 of the kids who are picked for everything get an actual role in the nativity. Everyone else just lurks in the background wearing whatever costumes the school happens to have lying around. Last year ds was a member of the RNLI Confused.

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 15/11/2019 10:22

They could have called them inn keeper 1&2.

CandlesAreHere · 15/11/2019 10:23

Yawn.
Meanwhile, in the real world .........

lottiegarbanzo · 15/11/2019 10:23

On a vaguely serious note, I think making a fuss about things like this - which make perfect sense in context and offer opportunity for interpretation and learning (as greygirls comment above) - diminishes other, serious points people may wish to make about sexism, everyday and otherwise.

Why do they have to go back to the town where Joseph was born, not Mary, huh? huh? Oh, because it was the year 0 and a completely different social and political system pertained than we inhabit now.

Alltheprettyseahorses · 15/11/2019 10:24

I thought the thread was going to be outrage because your DD wasn't Mary Wink

I was the Innkeeper's Wife back in the day. It really was the best part with narrating the story with jokes and stuff like that included. And I was the first name credited and got the biggest round of applause. Back then I was a STAR! But now I'm an adult I'm just coping with the anonymity of only ever being DD's mum wherever we go Sad Hmm

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 15/11/2019 10:25

Tell DD you are offended, on her little behalf, and pull her out

Let a little girl play the WIFE (shock horror) whose mother isn't like you .

Seen it all now

BackOnceAgainWithABurnerEmail · 15/11/2019 10:25

That said, in DDs play last year inn keepers wife was the best role - so there’s hope yet!

myolivetree · 15/11/2019 10:25

"Mrs Inkeeper"? That's literally just another way of saying Innkeepers wife though. I thought OP's whole issue was that it's outrageous for a woman to be defined by her Husband's job....2000 years ago

Yeh course it is. That what 'Mrs ' does. But OP isn't talking about a total rejig of everyday norms is she? That's the whole point.

Just a tiny change that has probably been overlooked by a busy teacher.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 15/11/2019 10:25

They could have called them inn keeper 1&2

No, I strongly object to that. In fact, I might even be fumming.

theoriginalmadambee · 15/11/2019 10:26

Soo if innkeepers wife is the best part as reported. OP is just a stealth boast?

CatWithKittens · 15/11/2019 10:26

My DH - dare I so describe him on this thread - then 6 was a King in a convent school Nativity play. His crown had been made by the rather too innocent nuns with Rowntree's Fruit Pastilles as jewels and both he and the other Kings were severely punished by the, by then rather less innocent , nuns for eating them between the dress rehearsal and the performance. It doesn't seem to have affected his love of Christmas.

MinTheMinx · 15/11/2019 10:26

You're wasting your time getting wound up about this OP. It's a traditional play and while I see where you're coming from, there are bigger battles to fight. Just explain to your DD that it's old fashioned and that if it was written now it would be different.

My DD was cast as a crow in her nativity and is still annoyed about it years later. If she'd got the part of the Innkeeper's Wife she'd have been delighted.

HappydaysArehere · 15/11/2019 10:26

Oh! This is beyond ridiculous and why feminist trolls are spoiling valid concerns.

blazingbags · 15/11/2019 10:26
Grin
SoupDragon · 15/11/2019 10:28

because it was the year 0 and a completely different social and political system pertained than we inhabit now.

Exactly.

kenandbarbie · 15/11/2019 10:30

Well the main part is actually Mary. So actually the play is one of the few examples where a woman has the main part.

lynzpynz · 15/11/2019 10:30

I don't think I'd use the term outraged but I would prob make a suggestion to the teachers involved that maybe renaming the roles to 'inkeepers 1 and 2' or similar might be a bit more inclusive. It's prob not even crossed their minds tbf, intent is everything when assessing the necessary outrage level 😂!

I used to always get punted to the narrator role at my school (p1-p7!) 'because you enunciate soooo well' - aye cheers teacher, here's to fecking 20 odd eloqution lessons with grumpy deputy head yelling at me at playtime whilst my mates were having fun. Would have loved to be anyone's wife back then 😂!

fromdownwest · 15/11/2019 10:32

If you get 'outraged' by this, then your life must be quite stressful.

Slightly annoyed would still be OTT.

Let your daughter enjoy the innocence of childhood plays. I was a donkey and stood there and did nothing for each rehearsal and the main thing. I stood in awe and envy at the inn keepers wife with her multiple lines and parents applauding her ways. I am still not right to this day, those pesky nativity plays don't have create later life issues.....

Pukkatea · 15/11/2019 10:32

Not sure what is wrong with just having two parts called innkeeper, but everyone continue to be hysterical about political correctness gone mad.

SoupDragon · 15/11/2019 10:33

but everyone continue to be hysterical about political correctness gone mad.

No more "hysterical" than those who have a problem with it. An interesting choice of word too given it's origins.

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