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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be outraged by Nativity casting as 'Innkeeper's wife'!!!

1000 replies

PIPERHELLO · 15/11/2019 09:26

Daughter (6) has been cast as 'someone's wife' in the Nativity play at school. 'Innkeeper's wife' to be precise.

Err...hello!?

This is fucking not OK! In 2019, to be identified as 'someone's wife'.

Normally I am pretty relaxed about all things school, and I certainly feel sorry for he teachers' workloads, but come on people!? This is 2019 - no woman should be identified by her relationship to a man!? SURELY!

Itching to call them out on this. Itching!

OP posts:
greygirl · 15/11/2019 10:07

The inkeepers wife (which is her title in the biblw) is actually a very interesting role. It is she who allows the couple to stay in the stable (with some privacy and seclusion and warmth from the animals) rather than cast them off into the night with a view to sleeping in an inn (which would essentially have been everyone in a big dormitory, not private rooms like a travel lodge).So she stopped Mary having to give birth in public.
The inkeeper's wife shows kindness and understanding and although she is not named she shows feminine solidarity and is actually a fantastic part to be proud of.

Witchend · 15/11/2019 10:07

I thought this was going to be a joke when I read the title.

If it really offends your sense of dignity then sit down with your dd and produce a name (time appropriate) and backstory.

The Innkeeper and Shepherds and Wise Men aren't named in the Bible either (Wise men's names are traditional-there also were probably more than 3 of them) so it really a matter of everyone named except the innkeeper's Wife-that is as much a description of her job as the Innkeeper in those days.

PIPERHELLO · 15/11/2019 10:07

@FadingStar great advice.

I don't think it is that one actually - can't remember what the title is - only just got the script last night. It was written in 2019 though!!

I like the advice about seeking to DD and explaining why I feel like I do. A learning opportunity I guess.

OP posts:
museumum · 15/11/2019 10:08

It's a minor thing but why can't she just be an inkeeper as well? rather than the innkeepers wife? i'm sure she does more 'keeping' of the inn than he does! Or landlady and landlord as they would be?

On a similar topic, i caught myself when ds was small and we got a happyland farm saying 'the farmer' and 'the farmer's wife'. I changed it to calling her 'the farmer' and him 'the man' and putting her in the tractor driving seat. why not?

Namelessinseattle · 15/11/2019 10:08

I'd imagine you could be messing up those tax credits if they were both in keepers and increasing the overall company liability. It's a very big step to take and I don't blame the teacher for thinking long and hard about it. I'm sure life was hard enough for them without a tax audit. Mind you renting their stables out is also probably violating a tin of codes. I'd leave her as housewife.

Piglet89 · 15/11/2019 10:09

@SciFiScream “King Harrod”. Absolutely PMSL.

Smelborp · 15/11/2019 10:11

But the innkeeper is a minor character already - the innkeepers wife is how that role fits into the story. I’m usually all over every day sexism, but I don’t think this is it.

lottiegarbanzo · 15/11/2019 10:11

It is literally the year 0 in this play - not 2019!

ittakes2 · 15/11/2019 10:11

Its 2019 and I am someone's wife and I like it! I am sorry I think you are over thinking this - most of the characters in the play don't have actual names.

theoriginalmadambee · 15/11/2019 10:12

Innkeepstress!

Btw thought everything should be gender neutral these days.

VardySheWrote · 15/11/2019 10:13

Have we got any complaint about "Mary" being a female, or not yet?

And don't get me started on the assumption that the baby was a boy!

Oysterbabe · 15/11/2019 10:13

Fucking hell 😂

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 15/11/2019 10:13

My DD was a tomato

Respect to whoever managed to shoehorn a tomato into a nativity.

Freshstart40 · 15/11/2019 10:13

You must be constantly exhausted being so easily offended.

Poor teachers.

lottiegarbanzo · 15/11/2019 10:13

The inkeepers wife (which is her title in the biblw) is actually a very interesting role. It is she who allows the couple to stay in the stable (with some privacy and seclusion and warmth from the animals) rather than cast them off into the night with a view to sleeping in an inn (which would essentially have been everyone in a big dormitory, not private rooms like a travel lodge).So she stopped Mary having to give birth in public.

The inkeeper's wife shows kindness and understanding and although she is not named she shows feminine solidarity and is actually a fantastic part to be proud of.

That is really interesting. Thank you.

Ispy123 · 15/11/2019 10:13

My daughter was a sheep last year!!! She was gutted. Her lines were basically "baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" at different speeds and tones. I'd be over the moon if she'd got innkeepers wife!!! Better than the shepherds sheep!!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 15/11/2019 10:13

@Oliversmumsarmy didn't know nativity lobsters existed outside Love Actually Grin

BlobbyTheLump · 15/11/2019 10:14

I was a palm tree.

Get over yourself.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/11/2019 10:14

Not so bad. My son was usually livestock.

Grin

And OP - on a vaguely serious note, no, I do not see a vaguely serious point.

I believe that rabid reactions like this just entrench prejudices. Perhaps you could have her re-designated as "Totally independent woman who happens to be married to innkeeper, but still her own person". if it makes you happier.

FadingStar · 15/11/2019 10:15

Exactly OP. Use it as a learning/teaching tool. As a female child she will grow up facing a great deal of low level sexism that will continue into old age, that most people might not even register. I think it's great you feel like this and can talk to your daughter about it as she grows up. Forewarned is forearmed and all that.

PsychosonicCindy · 15/11/2019 10:15

She should be known as fellow innkeeper or innkeeper 2 in my opinion

lottiegarbanzo · 15/11/2019 10:16

I realise I never did inquire about the sex, gender, marital status, identity or aspirations of the animal dd played last year. Remiss.

Samcro · 15/11/2019 10:16

good god is this all people have to worry about!!

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 15/11/2019 10:16

Take a chill pill OP I think that you are being ridiculous.

Footiefan2019 · 15/11/2019 10:16

😂😂

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