to be outraged by Nativity casting as 'Innkeeper's wife'!!!

[PIPERHELLO]

Daughter (6) has been cast as 'someone's wife' in the Nativity play at school. 'Innkeeper's wife' to be precise.

Err...hello!?

This is fucking not OK! In 2019, to be identified as 'someone's wife'.

Normally I am pretty relaxed about all things school, and I certainly feel sorry for he teachers' workloads, but come on people!? This is 2019 - no woman should be identified by her relationship to a man!? SURELY!

Itching to call them out on this. Itching!

You must be raging! Your teeth must be itching with rage! The very idea that people can be wives!

I hope all actresses who have been forced to play this demeaning part sue Hollywood.

Though I don't know why schools can't call them the landlord and landlady.

But then the Nativity story isn't exactly modern. What do we know about Mary apart from her being engaged to Joseph?

Calling the nativity historically accurate is a stretch given its bullshit. But it was written and is set at a time when women were 'wives' and did not generally hold jobs (with a few obvious exceptions but I'm sure you'd be more annoyed at your kid being cast as a named whore).

The innkeepers wife, along with trees, livestock or whatever else gets thought up (I've seen kids cast as doorknobs) are there so all kids get a part, without them there would be even more parents irate that their precious kids weren't cast.

Get over it, there is no lesson or righteous point to be made here.

I was cast as an angel in my first nativity play. I am definitely not an angel nor ever have been.
It s just a school play. Relax.
I m a teacher. We are overwhelmed with work at this time of year.
If I had to teach primary I would expect more complaints from those cast as sheep. By the way the shepherds are just shepherds arent they? No names. At least when ds was one many years ago.

Are 'Nativity Plays' still a thing, then? Wow. I would have imagined, in this woke society of ours, that cultural appropriation isn't approved of in the slightest. Never mind the fact that women are tagged as "someone's wife", which is horrible and you're right, OP. Girls today ought not to be labelled as "belonging" to a man. But it could be worse.

A Jewish prophet became the Catholic, and then the Christian "Saviour". Every year Jews have to contend with a Jewish man and his parents being appropriated for the Christian/Catholic need to dominate all other religions. We don't complain because, eh. Life's too short. It moves on. And yet... it's something that rankles. Without Judaism, Christianity wouldn't exist... and all you middle-class parents can do is whine about what parts your children get in the annual culturally appropriated school play? Wow. I'm sure your children - who will be more "woke" than you currently are - will be so proud of their photos of them pretending to be Jewish or Muslim (the 3 Kings who didn't turn up until January 6th) dubious-they-even-existed people. Good luck with that.

What on earth will your religion do when the Messiah is actually born, I wonder?

OP I'm glad you can see the funny side. In 5 years you'll be mortified by this post 🤣

It may have escaped your notice but the 'innkeeper' doesn't have a name either. What do you want her to be called? Susan? Margaret? Bethany? Maybe with 'stay-at-home Mum and part-time stable hand and crib maker' written next to it so she's clearly not defined by being a wife?

Presumably her and her husband both "keep the Inn"? So they could be the Inn Keepers

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I always used to get the best parts at primary school because I was the best reader. Then one year a new girl joined the school and took the part I though I was a shoe-in for. she got to be MARY!

Tiny me was angry and upset.

Lovely teacher offered me the role of King Harrod or the Angel Gabriel (both normally boy's roles)

I can't remember which one I took but it was better because I had a speaking part. Mary didn't

That girl left our school shortly after to go to the local catholic primary!

Or Mr Innkeeper and Mrs Innkeeper.

"Mrs Inkeeper"? That's literally just another way of saying Innkeepers wife though. I thought OP's whole issue was that it's outrageous for a woman to be defined by her Husband's job....2000 years ago

OP, I'm mum to a DD 11 and definitely see the world through a new lens now. As you say I also see several examples of casual sexism around me every day. So I mean this kindly ...

Whilst I do see your point I would suggest on this occasion you use it as a conversation point with your DD. As others have said this is a story which is hundreds of years old, teachers are desperately scrabbling around to make as many speaking parts as possible and I really don't think you speaking to the school will get you anywhere. Trust me, most teachers are now bloody knackered and have one eye on Christmas holidays.

I think it's wise to choose your battles to a degree as in the near future (especially if the Lib Dem's have anything to do with it) we are going to see some very real and very serious threats to the dignity, safety and opportunities for our girls. Trust me, you are going to need all your energy soon.

If your DD has an ounce of your energy for this however she'll be a force to be reckoned with.

Since you are already on the train I am surprised you haven't considered the school is suggesting underage marriage, or that by casting a school child as a sheep that the school is assuming that child's species!

Who cares?

My son was a sheep and then a cow, my daughter was an angel, Mary and in a modern version a nurse ... and as for me I was once cast (I kid you not) as a spider in the stable.

The inn keeper had a wife, whose name as far as I know the bible never specifies your daughter has been lucky enough to be cast as such - who knows she might even get a line... don't contact her teacher or they'll mentally cast you as a donkey (aka ass)

What??!!!

In all of DD’s nativity plays the wife was always more fun and had more lines than the innkeeper himself.

Not sure what you are going on about, the character is the wife. I am DH’s wife when he introduces me to someone I don’t know. That’s a matter of life. How you define the role is the important bit, not the position itself.

Goodness, be glad she has a part and has fun.

I was surprised by the responses to this thread, but then I realised you had posted in AIBU Piper. Normally I hang out on the feminist board.

I agree with you. It’s very minor in a way, but is a sign of the casual way that women are seen as secondary. If they wanted to increase the number of children with parts, why not simply have two innkeepers, rather than a more important man and his very secondary wife. It does send a message to the children that a wife is a secondary person.

Yes, it’s an old story, and thus sexist, but no need to make it more so by adding in a secondary character who is only referred to in relation to someone else.

OP is it Lights, Camel, Action by any chance? My daughter was cast as the Innkeeper's Wife and I spoke to her about it as I didn't want her to absorb any sexist messages on a subconscious level. We gave her character a name, just between ourselves.

Presumably her and her husband both "keep the Inn"? So they could be the Inn Keepers
Agreed, especially as she probably did more inn-keeping than him.

Dd1 was once cast as a book. I've kept the piece of paper she was given detailing her role and its in my downstairs loo.

I agree with you. Why is she not just "Innkeeper"?

@MoreSexPleaseImBritish - thanks for your reply! :)

Couldn't agree more with you.

And I really hope you're right about my DD. :)

So true about seeing things differently when you have kids.

*OP, I'm mum to a DD 11 and definitely see the world through a new lens now. As you say I also see several examples of casual sexism around me every day. So I mean this kindly ...

Whilst I do see your point I would suggest on this occasion you use it as a conversation point with your DD. As others have said this is a story which is hundreds of years old, teachers are desperately scrabbling around to make as many speaking parts as possible and I really don't think you speaking to the school will get you anywhere. Trust me, most teachers are now bloody knackered and have one eye on Christmas holidays.

I think it's wise to choose your battles to a degree as in the near future (especially if the Lib Dem's have anything to do with it) we are going to see some very real and very serious threats to the dignity, safety and opportunities for our girls. Trust me, you are going to need all your energy soon.

If your DD has an ounce of your energy for this however she'll be a force to be reckoned with.smile*

WIVES defined by their husband's job? In 2019! Noooo how absolutely outrageous. That would NEVER happen today. Ever.

context, people, context!

You want to change the nativity? Of course it's not unreasonable! Why not insist on Mary and Joseph walking instead of travelling by donkey because obviously they were vegan and would never put that burden on a poor animal. Maybe they could fit it in to the story somehow that Mary and Joseph need to find somewhere before 9pm because there's a curfew and all men must be indoors by then. I had no idea being someone's wife was such a terrible thing, I'd better go tell dp that i can no longer marry him as it's sexist. Bit entitled aren't you?

What’s Sandra’s motivation in the scene?