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To ask school staff whether they can share this info re a teacher?

151 replies

thenasdo · 14/11/2019 18:38

Am hoping there's some posters on here who work in schools and could shed some light on what may be going on.

DD is in Year 10, she has had the same form teacher since she started Year 7. She has always liked said teacher, and teacher makes special effort to get to know each student and support them if they have anything going on. The past few months DD has had a few issues with a group, ostracizing and bullying her.

Said teacher has been a great support to DD, while pastoral care in the school have brushed her off. Pastoral care seems to think that by Year 10 DD should be coping herself and they are still caught up helping the new Year 7's adjust. DD has only been able to cope going into school becuase this teacher offers her a safe space to go to at lunchtimes and talks to her etc.

However since Monday last week the teacher hasn't been in. The form has had a string of subsitutes. Other staff are being shifty about the teacher's absense and there seems to be some deliberate secrecy. She still has her name up on the school's website so it doesn't look as though she's been sacked. I am quite concerned though as this teachher has been DD's only source of support within the school.

If I were to contact the school and ask why she hasn't been in, would I be likely to get an answer?

OP posts:

HavelockVetinari · 14/11/2019 18:39

Nope, sorry.


PotteringAlong · 14/11/2019 18:40

No, you won’t get an answer. The other staff aren’t being “shifty”, they’re not sharing personal info.


LoopyGremlin · 14/11/2019 18:41

What are you expecting then to tell you?! She may be ill or it could be personal. You have no right to know and the school should not tell you.


SignOnTheWindow · 14/11/2019 18:41

It might be that she's ill and they don't want to give out too much personal information.

When I had a breakdown, my school was very discreet about it.


SuperSange · 14/11/2019 18:41

Hopefully they won't tell you anything because you've got no right to know.


Grasspigeons · 14/11/2019 18:42

No you wont get an answer. Its her personal business and schools still have all the same employment laws and teachers the same employment rights as any other business.


PinkPonyPalace · 14/11/2019 18:42

Most likely explanation if that the teacher is off sick, but regardless, the reason is absolutely none of your business. You would be out of order to ask, and school won’t tell you.
However, you do have a right to ask what support your DD will get in the teacher’s absence, even if you won’t like the answer.


TheCanterburyWhales · 14/11/2019 18:42

No, they won't tell you . They'll also think you're a bit over-invested to have extrapolated so much from an absence of a couple of days!
Maybe she's got flu. Maybe she had a miscarriage. Maybe compassionate leave
In the nicest possible way, not your business.

The only acceptable thing might be to say "oh, dd told me Ms. X has been off for a while, hope she's ok"

But you'd still look nosey tbh


OwlinaTree · 14/11/2019 18:43

I doubt they will tell you. She could be ill or it could be a personal issue. Would you want people talking about you and your personal issues in that way?


Puta · 14/11/2019 18:45

She’s probably burnt out. What with giving up her lunchbreaks and all that.


SquareAsABlock · 14/11/2019 18:46

If she had been off a month I could understand, but a week is nothing. Anything could be wrong from a virus to a family loss. Other teachers are under no obligation (and quite frankly are completely in the right) not to divulge that information.


chickennu · 14/11/2019 18:47

I can't believe you think you have any right to know.


MonChatEstMagnifique · 14/11/2019 18:49

Knowing the reason why this teacher is not in won't help your daughter. If your daughter needs support then the school should be giving it to her though so you would be right to phone and ask how she can access help. As far as I'm aware pastoral care is there for all year groups and should help your daughter if she is being bullied. I hope your daughter is ok, secondary schools are tough environments.


lookatthebabypenguin · 14/11/2019 18:50

Have you not heard of GDPR?

Why would you possibly think this is any of your business?


Witchend · 14/11/2019 18:51

The teachers probably don't even know. Not shifty, probably just genuinely with nothing to tell you.
And even if they did know they wouldn't tell you, even if it was a simple and unembarrassing as she's got flu.


testing987654321 · 14/11/2019 18:51

It's probably best if you contact the school to see if anyone else can help support your daughter. Or could you request counselling via your doctor if she is struggling?


Hahaha88 · 14/11/2019 18:51

Of course they won't tell you and why on earth would you think they should? What if she's going through a divorce? Or had a miscarriage? Or her parent died? Or for something less drastic but private , what if she has d+v? It's none of your blinking business


Aragog · 14/11/2019 18:52

I'm afraid you won't be told. The school can't share that kind of information with you, without the teacher's consent - and they just aren't going to ask the teacher for that. The other teacher's aren't conspiring against you. They just can't say. Its not their place to do so and they could be in trouble if they do.

Why would you think she'd been sacked after less than a fortnight's absence???

Most people would assume she was ill, surely? Could be many reasons - illness, recovering from an operation, bereavement, miscarriage, personal family issues, etc - none of which are for you to know.


PurpleDaisies · 14/11/2019 18:52

No way. That’s entirely personal information.

Other staff are being shifty about the teacher's absense and there seems to be some deliberate secrecy.

Probably because they are fed up of nosey parents asking nosey questions.


Grasspigeons · 14/11/2019 18:53

Yes to contacting school for help and gp. Its tough when support isnt forthcoming.


blue25 · 14/11/2019 18:54

No. None of your business. Poor teacher.


ScarlettDarling · 14/11/2019 18:55

How very bizarre to think of even asking! I get that your daughter relies on this teacher so you are obviously anxious for her to come back to work, but really, do you think it's appropriate to be asking why she's absent?


churchandstate · 14/11/2019 18:56

Maybe she found a new position at a better, more popular school.


Candle1000 · 14/11/2019 18:56

Turn it round Op - how would you feel if some random person called your boss and asked about your personal life ?


PollyShelby · 14/11/2019 18:56

No not a hope.

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