To think this is totally ok and I am not a lax parent

[Northernsoulgirl45]

Have 3 dd 15 12 and 6
Very occasionally I leave them with the 15 year old in charge. Never more than an hour or two and not at night.
Another mum of a small child btw has made me feel like a bad mum for giving dd1 this responsibility.
So who is unreasonable?

It's just v weird, the 12yo is old enough not to need looking after anyway, indeed could look after the 6yo as far as most people are concerned. Being charitable, I suspect it's that if your oldest child is only 6yo, like the other mum, you don't actually realise how fast they grow up.

I spent every weekend alone at 15 ffs

I regularly used to babysit for a family when I was 15. Kids were around simile younger ages. It would be regularly after midnight when the parents came home and then sent me home in their taxi. I suspect times have changed now from the 1990s but it’s a shame. As long as the kids don’t fight. I currently could leave my 10 year old for half an hour or so in training for possibly being left to get herself to/from school when she goes to secondary for short periods. I’d never consider leaving the 7 year old with her though as they often fight. Not sure how that will work out as they get older. Not quite the same as a 15 year old but if the relationship was similar I wouldn’t.

Great that you have someone to care for your younger children whilst you are doing other things. Not sure about the morality of getting kids to look after siblings though. Wouldn’t they rather be doing teenager stuff, or study or other out of school activities?

My daughter was babysitting for my two, as well as other mums on a paid basis. She also worked for the YMCA at the kiddies club during the summer of her 16th birthday.

The thing to be aware of is that if (g o d forbid), there were a house fire for example, & one of the children aS harmed or was a 'near kid's', social services and the police may bring a case against you on the grounds of neglect.

I was 10 when my first sibling was born and 15 when the second (and last) came along. I would occasionally babysit my sister from when I was 11 and very regularly look after both of them from when I was 15 (mum worked 3 evenings a week from when my brother was 3 months and dad worked long hours). I was very responsible and it was fine. Am sure it stood me in good stead for having my own kids!

This is totally your call and I see nothing wrong in giving your Daughter some responsibility, What others think is their perogative, its obviously a well thought out decision, and nobody else's business.

"social services and the police may bring a case against you on the grounds of neglect"

This is absolute nonsense. It is not even slightly negligent to leave a 15yo in charge of a 6yo. There is clearly a grey area (12yo in charge of a 2yo for eg) but this is not in it!

I regularly leave my dd (15) with my ds (5) while I go food shopping, nip out to do chores etc. In fact tomorrow we are planning on leaving them for about 2 hours in the evening to go out for a meal. We are 10 mins away though, and we have neighbours and other family locally that could get to them in an emergency.

I don't think it's particularly helpful to say 'well at 13 I was babysitting 4 kids all night' as times were different then. I was babysitting for neighbours etc by that age but I wouldn't let dd do it now unless it was for family or a close friend.

YANBU

I am guessing 'other mum' is a new mum.

It's fine. My 15 yr old picks up my 10 yr old once a week and takes him home from school till I get in around 5pm. My sensible DD (12) does the same once a week, and all three are there from approx 3.30-5pm alone. Sometimes DH will phone home from work to check all is fine, but usually they are all watching various screens and are quite happy without us!
As long as they have some contact numbers and know what to do if there is a fire or medical emergency, I think it's fine.

Sounds fine; I was being paid to babysit other people's children at 15!

Tell her to sod off.

You know your 15 yr old best !
If you feel she is responsible enough then there’s no issue
I’ve done exactly this.

You’re fine

I was baby sitting for whole weekends at 15, it's great to give your kids that responsibility, proves you trust them and it teaches them life lessons.

I was getting paid to babysit at that age! Of course it's fine.

Perfectly normal for a 15 year old to watch a 6 year old for a couple of hours.

My only concern would be the 12 year old resenting be bossed about by the 15 year old but you know your own family's dynamics.

Dd1 would not beed to boss dd2 around. She is no trouble. She eould just stah jn her room doing her thing. Good to know I am not being unfair on her.
It is not as if it is a daily occurrence. It is more in emergency situations or if I have to work before dh is home which is rare and only for a fee hours tops.
We alwsys get a sitter for date nights etc.

Rubbisg typing. Hate this phone.

Or even rubbish.

I was babysitting 4 kids between 2 and 8 at 14 years old and they were perfectly fine. As long as 15 year old is mature enough why not.

Absolutely fine. Our 15 yr old nephew babysits for ds 5 regularly.