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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is totally ok and I am not a lax parent

171 replies

Northernsoulgirl45 · 13/11/2019 21:05

Have 3 dd 15 12 and 6
Very occasionally I leave them with the 15 year old in charge. Never more than an hour or two and not at night.
Another mum of a small child btw has made me feel like a bad mum for giving dd1 this responsibility.
So who is unreasonable?

OP posts:
stephi81 · 14/11/2019 17:41

How ridiculous. Of course a 15 year old (and many 12 years olds at that) is capable of babysitting their 6 year old sibling if you think they are. I'm betting this other mum has limited experience with older kids. I bet you wish you could show her this thread!!

stephi81 · 14/11/2019 17:42

@bigmumsymcgraw you wouldn't let a sensible 15 year old look after their own sibling for an hour or two!? How silly

pollymere · 14/11/2019 17:43

It's not just the 15yo, it sounds like you've a 12yo who could also help. Don't think twice, it's not a problem.

SiriusBlackAndHisHippogriff · 14/11/2019 17:46

Of course it's fine but on MN you will probably get blasted as obviously older siblings are never supposed to be made to look after the younger ones.

I must be an anomaly as I'm the eldest of five, looked after my siblings loads as a teenager, and do not feel resentful or like I missed out.

BingoLittlesUncle · 14/11/2019 17:46

My daughter was CEO of the local babysitting service at 15 (OK she was also the sole employee).

katewhinesalot · 14/11/2019 17:46

A 15 treat old is more than old enough to babysit.

Whether it's a good idea with siblings is another matter. Mine would have been arguing and refusing to do what their older sibling said.

So in your case op, it depends on their dynamics.

Charbead49 · 14/11/2019 17:47

Wouldn't dream? Interested to know why

Spudlet · 14/11/2019 17:51

I was that 15 year old, with a similar aged brother and sister to look after. Dad fucked off, and Mum had to go back to work as a nurse, as that’s what she was qualified for. It was the only way to keep a roof over all our heads, and food on the table.

We had the odd squabble, but overall everything was fine.

Bozlem80 · 14/11/2019 17:53

I remember in the early 90’s me & my friend would take her niece & my cousin (her sister married my uncle) out to the park, babysit in the evening etc... and we would only be 11-12 at the time!

Happygirl79 · 14/11/2019 17:56

If your child is mature enough its not a problem

afternoonspray · 14/11/2019 17:56

15 year olds are old enough to babysit!

bigmumsymcgraw · 14/11/2019 18:00

Not allowed to express my opinion? How silly

bigmumsymcgraw · 14/11/2019 18:03

Just my personal view. Dont feel like explaining.

Gilld69 · 14/11/2019 18:07

You know yourself if your 15 year old is sensible enough to take responsibility for a short time , i think its fine , i have a 19 year old i wouldnt leave a dead dog with but a 14 year old who is much more mature

Lostkeysinaraindrainurghh · 14/11/2019 18:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wintersleep · 14/11/2019 18:17

I was babysitting very young babies, toddlers and children up to the age of 11 when I was 14/15, often overnight. I was not a particularly mature for my age teenager either, just normal. This wasn't too long ago either I'm only in my early 20s so not a "sign of the times" thing, you're fine

happycamper11 · 14/11/2019 18:22

Dd’s Dads girlfriend goes out for the whole evening and night tonstay with him and leaves her autistic 7 year old with his older brother who is 16. I am rather (very) Confused about that but wouldn’t be worried about what you are doing. My 6 year old could t be left with her sister as they fight awfully but as long as that isn't the case then no problem

Considermesometimes · 14/11/2019 18:23

I would ask your friend why she sees it as a problem, as there could be a reason. Has she seen something on line that has made her think your eldest is not looking after them properly? I would definitely want some reasons as to why she is concerned just in case. Assuming she has no concrete reason I wouldn't worry. 15 is totally fine as long as they are very sensible and responsible and take good care of the six year old.

Considermesometimes · 14/11/2019 18:26

I will just caveat that it would not be all night, or very late into the night though. They need to be much older for that.

teenagetantrums · 14/11/2019 18:27

My DS was 12 when he used to collect my DD 10 from after school club and they would be home for an hour before l got home. He was responsible and didn't mind. l used to give him some extra pocket money for it. They always got on well do no issues with fighting. I think what you doing is more than ok

ToftyAC · 14/11/2019 18:28

I see absolutely no problem with it. YANBU or lax.

Jinxed2 · 14/11/2019 18:35

Someone asked me the other day if I let my 13yo DD look after my almost 3yo. I was a bit Hmm. Of course I don’t! I’m sure at 15 if she carries on as sensibly as she is currently then I wouldn’t mind her watching him for short periods.

Yummymummy2020 · 14/11/2019 18:37

Another one to second That it’s fine! I was a paid babysitter at an even younger age! And a good one at that. It all depends on the teen of course but if they are sensible and mature I see nothing at all wrong with it!

Skyejuly · 14/11/2019 18:56

I leave my 15 and 13yr old with the 7yr old for an hour in half term as I have to work!

JenniferM1989 · 14/11/2019 18:58

Well the 12 and 15 year old are a fair bit older than the 3 year old. It's not like they're looking after a newborn baby. Anyway, you can get a job in nursery at 16 so I would say it's totally fine

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