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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is totally ok and I am not a lax parent

171 replies

Northernsoulgirl45 · 13/11/2019 21:05

Have 3 dd 15 12 and 6
Very occasionally I leave them with the 15 year old in charge. Never more than an hour or two and not at night.
Another mum of a small child btw has made me feel like a bad mum for giving dd1 this responsibility.
So who is unreasonable?

OP posts:
Melroses · 13/11/2019 22:10

Friend used to pay her 2 DC, close in age, to mind each other once they reached their teens. Seemed to work Grin

saraclara · 13/11/2019 22:18

My niece was bringing up her own baby at that age.

Ignore the other mum.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 13/11/2019 22:19

I don’t think it’s lax but I think unless the 15 year old is happy to babysit and is being paid then it’s unfair.

Elder siblings usually end up a default sitter and resentment very soon sets in.

Interestedwoman · 13/11/2019 22:20

I think that's fine. xx

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 13/11/2019 22:21

Another one who babysat for pay at 15. Totally fine.

NigesFakeWalkingStick · 13/11/2019 22:25

Fucking hell I wouldn't bat an eyelid at that whatsoever.

I was regularly babysitting for kids as young as 2 at 14!

waterrat · 13/11/2019 22:25

I use a 15 year old babysitter who I know well - I have left her with 3 and 5 year old to look after for a couple of hours.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 13/11/2019 22:27

Ive paid a 15yo to look after my children for several hours. You know if the 15yo is responsible enough.
Children need responsibility and trust to mature into adults.

PlanDeRaccordement · 13/11/2019 22:28

So long as you pay the 15 yr old the going rate for babysitting, it is ok.
I don’t agree with making older children parent younger siblings for free.

motortroll · 13/11/2019 22:33

I regularly leave my 12 (almost 13) 10 and 5 year old alone so I can go do food shop or whatever. I don't do evenings yet but my niece who is 15 does babysitting for me

TheMidasTouch · 13/11/2019 22:35

Perfectly acceptable. Just ignore the other mum.

summersherewishiwasnt · 13/11/2019 22:36

It read more like leaving a 12 and 15 year old to watch to watch a 6 year old. You know them, you are best to judge.

meganxz · 13/11/2019 22:37

From 14 onwards I babysat my neighbours kids. 5 year old and a 1 year old.

My biggest struggle? The 5 year old trying to convince me to give the baby a cup of a tea for bed.

Yanbu, screw that woman. I'm sure you know your eldest child's capabilities
Smile

JellyfishAndShells · 13/11/2019 22:38

My two DDs had a nice little babysitting service going from age 15 in our road, which had quite a few families with very young children – the parents liked the fact that there was no concern about getting the girls home after and that I was available as a back up if there were any problems. I started babysitting at 15 as well.

The only doubt would be if the sibling dynamics meant that the younger ones would play up to some kind of dangerous extent - it wasn’t a problem with mine, but I can see it might go a bit pear shaped in some families. But you are talking about such a short length of time , anyway.

BestOption · 13/11/2019 23:00

🌷ignore the stupid, probably envious, bint.

As long as the youngest one doesn’t play up for the eldest one and the 12 is basically responsible for herself then it’s all good!

HollowTalk · 13/11/2019 23:09

I think it depends on how the older two get on. If they get on well, I think it's fine, but if they squabble and fight, then I would say the youngest and the oldest are fine together, but without the middle child.

Neolara · 13/11/2019 23:10

Th

Neolara · 13/11/2019 23:11

That's completely fine.

Moomin8 · 13/11/2019 23:12

YANBU - I have a 15 year old and she watches her 10 year old sister from time to time. It's perfectly fine and as a parent it's your call to make.

marzipanballsrule · 13/11/2019 23:14

15yo is fine to babysit and you know your own kids

Don't feel bad about this

BeThere · 13/11/2019 23:17

I was babysitting a family of 3 small kids at 13 so I personally think it's completely fine

Whoops75 · 13/11/2019 23:20

Absolutely fine imo

Bet you she’ll be doing the same when her oldest is 15.

JaniceBattersby · 13/11/2019 23:29

It’s fine.

And I wouldn’t pay my 15-year-old for babysitting for an hour or two in the same way I don’t pay them for other contributions they make to the running of the household like doing the hoovering and putting away the plates from the dishwasher because we are a family and we all pitch in.

AnyOldPrion · 13/11/2019 23:32

Whilst I think it is fine, have you gone through scenarios with them, like what to do if there’s a fire? Not so bad if it’s not evening, but in the village where I used to live, a 15 year old was babysitting two young children when the washing machine went on fire. Instead of getting them out, she went to try to get help. I think, when something frightening happens, it’s good to have an advance plan in your head.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 13/11/2019 23:32

I was doing paid babysitting for other people's small sprogs at 15 so I agree entirely that it's fine.

So long as your oldest DD is ok with it, and they don't fight like cats and dogs when left alone, then no problem!
Your friend - well. Best not to mention stuff like this to her again, hey.