Would I get done for defamation?

[InnisandGunn]

So, some of you may remember my previous post regarding a police investigation against a friend who sexually assaulted me twice. One whilst asleep, thinking I was drunk. And again when I was blind drunk. All whilst our friends we're sat around. We've gone through the correct channels, I've waited 18 months and the case has changed officer. It transpires the case has been handled horribly and it's looking as though it won't even get put through to CPS. We have a means of getting deleted Facebook messages that would provide irrefutable evidence, but the police won't do it 'because it's not a murder case'. I'm absolutely gutted. No wonder sexual offence conviction rates are so low.

My AIBU is, if this doesn't go anywhere, can I plaster the whole thing everywhere? Well maybe not do that, but post to Facebook about it? He's a school teacher. He's most likely done it to another friend. God knows how many others whilst he was at uni. He has a 16 year old girlfriend. And he gets off, as though nothing ever happens. I can't tell the school, I can't go ballistic at him. I've sat for 18 months and waited, all for it to be ballsed up.

I want everyone to know what he's really like. So I intend to post on Facebook with a very accurate description of him, whilst not actually naming, and describe what he's done to me. Would this be classed as defamation? Reading online it says it's only a crime if what you're saying isn't true. Well I know it's true, he knows it true. All our friends know its true. His parents and my parents know it's true. Yet his parents continue to lie to the police. Can I be done for defamation if I go off on this war path? I just need to do something. I need to somehow attack him back. Make him feel how I feel.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/rapist-footballer-david-goodwillie-suffers-12469189.amp

@CareofPunts it's been ridiculous. The new officer has openly admitted it's ridiculous how long it's taken, and that his phone should have been confiscated etc etc. The new officer is trying, but he's obviously walked into a bit of a shit show. I'm disappointed he won't go down the law enforcement request with the Facebook messages but I can understand that I wasn't raped at gunpoint, and resources need to be used accordingly. I am considering a complaint if this does come to nothing as the first officer was awful. The first officer also kept referencing how whilst they had to make sure I'm okay, they also have to make sure he's not going to do anything stupid.

@Justabaker whilst I appreciate the sentiment I struggle to just move on from this. Why should I sit back and accept he gets to do as he pleases, and gets away with it. I believe in the law, and therefore I will fight tooth and nail to try and get him to face the consequences. It's not about being a victim.

Have you both got a lot of money behind you? Privately pursuing another person for defamation is generally a rich person's game. The costs mount up and getting an order for them doesn't mean the person can and will pay. At least one party usually needs substantial funds before a solicitor will touch it.

@CareOfPunts that's an interesting read. I may look into this more. Thank you for your help.

@DawnOfTheDeadleg as far as I know he's not got loads of money behind him no. But then I don't know how much you'd need to pursue that. We'd have enough to scrape together a counterargument but it's not a situation I'd want to out my family in

Stop being a victim then there's no 'victory' for him.

This is victim blaming.

Once somebody has been victimised they are a victim - as a statement of objective fact - regardless of how traumatised they are.

And trauma is not something you can opt in and out of at will. Being traumatised is not a character failing or weakness.

The fucking ignorance. Don't turn the word victim into a slur.

I don't know, and I am not a legal person, but could you contact the education authorities, possibly anonymously?
Surely, if what you say is true, people need to know.

I feel your pain and frustration so clearly. I would advise slowing right down. Part of your response right now will be fuelled by shock, adrenaline, anger. When/if you act, it needs to be from a place of stability, strength and clarity.

If you need to do something now - make it risk free to you. E.g. speak to a civil lawyer about taking action against him and/or defending yourself against a claim of defamation. Speak to professional, regulatory bodies that govern his job and any other roles he has about professional standards and complaints procedures. Gather info and then take a step back and consider the impact different courses of action would take - on you and your family both emotionally and financially.

As much as you want protect others, that is not your burden to carry. Your need for justice may not be best served by pursuing him further. It may come from the knowledge you have and the dignity with which you live your life. You know what he did. Many others do too. That exists regardless of what you do.

I'm saying stop looking back unless thats the direction you want to travel.

You don't understand trauma at all do you?

The fact of being traumatised prevents someone from remaining in the present, because their brain hasn't processed the traumatic experience and continues pulling them back into the last no matter how much they wish to move forward and no matter how many people spout motivational sayings at them.

It is impossible - IMPOSSIBLE - to simply choose not to be traumatised anymore, yet that is what you keep advocating.

It's gross of you. Stop it.

I am sorry OP.
I remember your previous threads.
I am so angry for you after going through all this, it is a disgrace.
I'd do it no smoke without fire. Fuck him.

Well I'm fucking fuming for you. I'm so sorry for what you've endured.

The answer is, it's extremely unlikely. He would have to bring a civil, self-funded case against you. It wouldn't be a police matter. And he would most probably lose. Which he would know if he looked into it, knowing it would cost him money and hassle.

Hi all

Just a friendly reminder that we don't allow victim blaming on the boards - please do bear this in mind when posting.

Thanks.

, OP.

I'm really sorry. This is utterly shit.

My rape investigation was fucked up. Ate up a huge chunk of my life then didn't make it to court.

I hear your anger and frustration and disappointment and disbelief. It. Is. Hard.

I think this is something most people learn to carry rather than "getting over".

There is nothing stopping you making safeguarding disclosures, although you can't make people act. But it might help you feel you did everything within your power to protect others. Without bringing harm upon yourself.

It's ok to feel rage right now. Don't do anything until it starts to ebb.

If CPS aren't prosecuting then it won't be going to court and there will be no court case for you to be in contempt of court. I hope the police officer who mentioned that to you was speaking when your case could still go to court, not deliberately giving you inaccurate information.

I'd #Hash tag abusers name.
If you don't like sharing in SM,
I'd printer flyers start with the parents are pick up time at his school.
Don't put your name.
Have a friend or 2 randomly share then post it to local FB sites under anonymous.
Whatever you decide I hope you recover soon.
I am glad you have a supportive DP and lovely DS.

Was he arrested because if he was the school ( or his governing body) should have been contacted as he is in a “ notifiable occupation”. So this is a system which is designed to protect the public from individuals in some occupations. So if a pilot for example gets arrested for drink drive that would be pertinent for his governing authority to be notified so they can make an informed decision about capacity to carry on working. I can’t see how a teacher who is arrested for a sexual offence - even if it was a non penetrative one wouldn’t come under this rule. If he wasn’t arrested then this isn’t triggered ( and I’d be bloody annoyed because arresting would have enabled the police to seize his phone and computers etc at the time ) My sister had a problem with her ex partner who assaulted her. The whole thing was probably caught on CCTV but the police didn’t seize it in time. He was just qualifying as a teacher at that time and was a heroin user and I was pretty anxious that he be arrested so this could be flagged up but they chose to interview him under caution and not arrest him. There were several other fuck ups in that case and I would have made a massive complaint on behalf of my sister but she didn’t want me to. ( for reference I’m a police officer and I don’t make these claims lightly )
In your case you are merging offences with non offences ( be it dodgy moral behaviour) Him having a relationship with a 16 year old is not in itself an offence unless he is in a position of trust ( which is often interpreted as directly teaching/ responsible for). She is still classified as a child from a child protection point of view but above the age of consent - a slight legal no mans land.

Tread very carefully here. Think about why he was not charged and taken to court if there were as many witnesses as you say. Him having a very young girlfriend, whilst very distasteful it isn’t illegal.

@Divebar he was questioned under caution. At first the officer was saying they'd go to the school and arrest him but the retracted and said he'd spoken to his sergeant who'd said because they and no reason to believe he wouldn't be compliant they couldn't arrest him. I'm so sorry your sister went through this. It's terrifying who they let teach. Would I have a leg to stand on with a complaint? Agree RE merging offences. Totally understand the legalities, just demonstrated he's an immoral twat.

@Emeraldshamrock that sounds amazing. I'm just so scared of any comeback as that'd turn me into a nervous wreck.

@Soontobe60 I don't quite understand what you're getting at here? What would I need to think about? Surely it was just a lack of evidence

Thank you all for your messages, I'll try get through them all.

Not read the whole thread so perhaps this has been addressed but do the school know about his gf? If not I would be telling them. Have been a teacher over a decade and no way would any school I’ve ever worked for keep employing a teacher who was doing this, even if the 16yo wasn’t at their school.

You'd have a very good reason for your behaviour.
If I knew it would be a civil case as long as there were no criminal charges I'd do it.
I'm so pissed for you.

@AllTheWhoresOfMalta it's a year on now, she's 17, and no longer in school. She's very vulnerable and ended up dropping out. Not sur did a school would still want to know?

@Emeraldshamrock thank you. It's nice to know if be within my rights to kick off. I just can't be doing with anymore stress.

If the CPS make the decision not to prosecute you have the "Victim's Right to Review" ( full details on CPS website - where you can also read about what goes into a decision).
Cases where the police exercise their independent discretion not to investigate or not to investigate a case further (whether in consultation with the CPS or not) and the CPS have not been requested to make a formal decision to charge. Requests for review of such decisions must be addressed to the relevant Police Service;