I am having a clutter-free Christmas AIBU?

[lilypoppet]

I have just thrown out loaďs of stuff in my house and l don't want the clutter coming back via Christmas so l have told my 3 daughters (ages 25, 19 & 13) they can have one gift and no stocking or any other gifts. They are fine with this. However, youngest DD wants a phone that costs £200. How much do you spend per child each Christmas and AIBU thinking this is too much money?

Oh and we also buy into the idea that it's more about family and church. We do tend to have more focus on birthdays than christmas tbh and spend a bit more for birthdays and if it were us and she's not absolutely desperate (though at 13 she really should have a phone), we'd buy the phone for her birthday.

She broke a phone and then dropped the replacement down the toilet and her contract doesn't end until May? Like fuck would I be spending £200 on a new one! My DD would be waiting until her contract ran out I'm afraid. Surely there are cheaper phones she can choose.

It is a bit unfair that her older sisters have had more present filled Christmases and I can just imagine my 12 and 14 year olds faces if they were just given one present and they knew what it was anyway. Seems a bit miserable to me but each to their own

Doing something wrong as a parent because your kid doesn’t have any video games?

No, AwkwardFuckers, doing something wrong because the child doesn't want anything else at all and he will have ONE Christmas gift.

How can be that ever be right?

I so wish we could edit our posts! FFS

Oh I should have read the full thread. I didn't realise she was on a contract and broke her current phone. In that case I'd buy her a cheap as chips phone that she can use her sim card in until her contract runs out. Then I may or may not buy her a better phone, I'd probably just stick her on sim only contract for a while.

No, AwkwardFuckers, doing something wrong because the child doesn't want anything else at all and he will have ONE Christmas gift.

How can be that ever be right?

Still not seeing the problem...? Didn’t realise there was a right and a wrong when it came to gift giving. Yeah, one generous expensive gift the child really really wants. So wrong. It’s child abuse really!

I think most children would still be excited by small basics. A chocolate santa isn't something they would get on a regular basis, but its a nice traditional treat.

I remember getting things like scented gel pens in my stocking at around 10 years old, they wouldn't be something we were bought apart from at xmas or birthdays, would just be a cheap pack of biros throughout the year if we ran out.

Who knew what you buy for your kids could cause such division in AIBU :-)

FWIW we do a pared down Christmas too, and it's not a financial decision, it's come as a result of many years of just being overwhelmed with stuff and realising that it was totally unnecessary. Our 3 dc (14, 12 and 9) don't feel hard done by, or upset by it, and the decision to pare down was discussed and agreed between us all.

We buy one main present, that they really want (it's been bikes, or scooters, paddleboards, a piece of expensive clothing, or a games console in the past) do a stocking (which, shock horror, contains things they want and things they need - bath/body stuff, perfume/aftershave. chocolates, underwear/socks, drinks bottles etc) a selection box and maybe one/two small presents that they want. They also get presents from grandparents, aunts, uncles, Godparents etc, but again, these are things they've specifically asked for.

We don't buy food like the shops are going to be shut for 456 days either over Christmas, but we do admittedly buy some nice wine/chocolates and treat food to enjoy together, just not the grim amounts that I see some people buying, then subsequently throwing out come remorse day/NY :-)

I don't care what kind of fun hoover some people on this thread might see me as, Christmas isn't about the biggest pile of presents (ask your children what presents they remember getting last year, I found ours remembered the big one and maybe 2/3 of the smaller ones previously, which begs the question 'why buy heaps of stuff?!') or getting yourself into debt for one day.

Yeah, one generous expensive gift the child really really wants. So wrong. It’s child abuse really!

yes, that's exactly what was said, that it was child abuse

You don't like other people's opinion when they disagree with you ,do you?

I still find the way some people see Christmas as very grim 🤷

You were the one who said giving one gift could never be right. Really really odd thing to say.

I find the way some people think having multiple gifts the kids may not even want as being better than having one gift the kids want as sickening and snobby.

I did said that I do find giving ONE gift as depressing as giving 200 gifts.

I find it even more depressing if the ONLY gift you can come up with is a video-game related item. It's weird if you can't come up with more than one thing you child would like.

Nowhere have I said you should buy tat for the sake of buying tat. If your kids are so bored of presents and gifts by Christmas, I can only guess they have a truck load of tat already. So yes, grim either way.

We will have to agree to disagree then I guess.

It’s not me who came up with it. It’s him. I still haven’t decided if he’s getting it, as it’s over budget. But if he does that will be all he gets as it will be all can afford. And I know I’ll have one very happy boy on Christmas morning. So if that’s sad, then so be it.

My daughter wanted a Switch but I couldn’t afford it until last Christmas. She got the switch, a game and Nintendo lab. She also got her usual stocking full of sweets and chocolate. She was very happy with that. Her sister wanted a few things like a toy keyboard and aqua beads. I don’t spend the same amount on each child.

This year, the other daughter wants a switch and Daughter 2 wants a few smaller things, a switch game and some pickmipops.

I don’t have a set budget. I just ask for their lists and see whether I can afford it or not. They don’t ask for a lot of stuff, just a few things each.

I don’t understand the people who buy their kids 10 play sets. I think it’s too much. I look at some of the piles of presents on FB and wonder where it all goes. My kids are happy just to get a few well chosen things. I never buy stuff just to pad it out.

If I were the OP, I’d maybe get the phone on condition of a smaller birthday present. 100 pounds to the pregnant sister, and find out what the other sister wants.

I think what l will do about the phone is pay for a replacement using the insurance (it's £80 excess) sell that one on Ebay and put it towards the one she wants. Maybe chocolate filled stockings for all and take the clutter in the bathroom to the nearest charity shop!

I think £200 is excessive for a 13 year old but if you can afford it and you don't have any issue spending this kind of sums, then it doesn't really matter what MN thinks.

And a phone is not clutter.