Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am having a clutter-free Christmas AIBU?

115 replies

lilypoppet · 13/11/2019 02:36

I have just thrown out loaďs of stuff in my house and l don't want the clutter coming back via Christmas so l have told my 3 daughters (ages 25, 19 & 13) they can have one gift and no stocking or any other gifts. They are fine with this. However, youngest DD wants a phone that costs £200. How much do you spend per child each Christmas and AIBU thinking this is too much money?

OP posts:
AwkwardFucker · 13/11/2019 11:45

Yeah that’s all good and well, but when your kid wants something really expensive as the main present and that already stretches the budget, sometimes there’s just isn’t £5-10 for extras. If the kid is fine with that and understands, I don’t see why strangers on the internet are bothered.

Annasgirl · 13/11/2019 13:07

I’m doing this this year and my DC are much younger. They will all get 1 present - expensive choice gift- and a stocking with sweets, a book, little surprise- and my youngest will get 2 more small presents. I am putting the money into 1 good gift and maybe a nice day out. My DC have really taken the climate debate on board and they want to reduce waste and by going back to the Christmas present tradition of my childhood I reckon we can get lots of joy and no waste.

I’m amazed that so many of you but into the consumerism of Christmas. I prefer to focus on family, friends, Church and food.

Caspianberg · 13/11/2019 13:44

@Annasgirl - but no one has suggested consumerism. Everyone has suggested doing exactly what you are doing. A main gift, then small stocking of chocolate, satsuma, and a small surprise etc

reluctantbrit · 13/11/2019 14:17

There is a huge difference between the budget only stretching for one big present or reducing presents for the sake of "no mess" because the parent decides that's the way forward.

if the child is old enough to make a choice to accept just one present is possible due to the price tag of it than fine. But then the parent should accept that the child's view regarding possession may be different to hers.

DD is asking for yet another fluffy blanket. Well, it is her room and she loves/needs the sensual feel of cosy stuff. She likes to rotate items despite already having perfectly workable ones. it is her room, not mine. The things she will get will be used and are not throwaway stuff or break by the next use or cater to the latest character whim.

melj1213 · 13/11/2019 15:20

I’m amazed that so many of you but into the consumerism of Christmas. I prefer to focus on family, friends, Church and food.

Nobody is "buying into consumerism" we are just saying that there is a scale between the two extremes of towers of tat and only one item and literally nothing else. Even as an adult my parents buy me something i have asked for and a selection box because it's just not Christmas without a selection box for breakfast.

If the child is old enough to understand and make the informed decision that one expensive present means they get nothing else at all then fair enough. But if it's a case of refusing to buy anything else because its "clutter" is just mean.

Most people are saying the same as you - a main present and a stocking is more than enough (especially if they get gifts from other family) but to refuse to buy a stocking of a few little things because your child has already got their one present just comes across as joyless at the one time of year that is supposed to be filled with joy and kids getting a little bit spoiled.

VardySheWrote · 13/11/2019 15:28

I don't really have a budget for Christmas - unless you are financially stuck, I find they don't make sense at all, but are the best way to end up with tat! Decent presents can be very expensive, so why not get them if you can afford it?

"One gift" is awful, sorry, I would be disappointed and I am a middle-aged mother. It's half the fun to open a few presents,

The worst is that ridiculous: something they want, something they need and other shit like that.

There's only so much money I can be bothered to waste on food frankly.

I find both extreme equally depressing, the ones buying 200 gifts for their 1 year old, are just as bad as the one "one present" and not much fun, we are having a "serious" Christmas.
Grim either way.

Brefugee · 13/11/2019 15:39

the OP is confusing because as far as I can see the one thing isn't actually related to the other.

But anyway. Clutter free Christmas (as in not adding to "useless stuff you don't need") doesn't necessarily mean "only one present". we stopped adding to our "stuff we don't need" ages ago, but we still tend to have a lot of presents because me and one of my DC love presents (giving and receiving) and just love Christmas.

So it tends to be useful stuff - but probably a better, snazzier, more fun version of something that the recipient would buy for themself. Or something they really want/need but haven't necessarily asked for it. And consumables: concert tickets being the favourite.

At 13 I'd have put a brave face on it, but would have been seriously disappointed with one present.

HCAdvice · 13/11/2019 17:02

Im an adult with younger siblings and i wouldn't mind at all if mum only got me one present but if she did this for my younger sister i wouldn't be impressed. Part of Christmas is the magic in opening gifts. What if they were useful, body spray, socks, clothes, fancy shampoo, bath bombs, chocolate/sweets etc. If it is consumable or usable it inst clutter!

Original poster
lilypoppet · 13/11/2019 20:00

Body spray, socks, hair stuff ... they have all this stuff in four boxes in the bath still where we put them while we were having carpet fitted. They never went back and they haven't been touched since. I could wrap it all up again for stockings and they wouldn't even notice
It is this type of clutter l am trying to avoid

OP posts:
ManiacalLapwing · 13/11/2019 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaWeasel · 13/11/2019 20:15

".... Not..... arse-aching over clutter" - i am so pinching that! Grin

I would get the 13yo to research cheaper phones, explaining that any new one is quite likely to meet a sticky end, using previous sticky ends as evidence to back this up.

Then i would buy the cheaper phone, and stockings all round.

vivacian · 13/11/2019 21:11

the choices are one gift that he wants, or a bunch of shit he doesn’t because it’s apparently cruel not to give a stocking.

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Can you not conceive of a budget being split 50% on a big present that is wanted and 50% on stocking fillers that are also nice and wanted?

When I was little our stockings included necessities like toothbrushes and socks as well as books and chocolate.

OP I think four boxes of untouched toiletries goes beyond “clutter” and to “hoarding” territory.

AwkwardFucker · 13/11/2019 22:53

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Can you not conceive of a budget being split 50% on a big present that is wanted and 50% on stocking fillers that are also nice and wanted?

Are you? He wants a switch. How do I get 50% of a switch? He doesn’t want and hasn’t asked for anything else. I can guarantee the kid would get far more joy from the one thing he desperately wants, than something else that costs half the price, and a stocking full of shit.

When I was little our stockings included necessities like toothbrushes and socks as well as books and chocolate.

This is quite hilarious when people are accusing one gift of being joyless. I would personally find a toothbrush completely joyless if I couldn’t get the only thing I wanted just because my mum thought it necessary to fill a stocking with useful stuff.

And that’s not a dig at doing it that way, I grew up that way too, and have done it for my kids for the last decade and a half. But it is buying stuff for the sake of buying stuff and these days my kids find much more joy in something else actually want.

vivacian · 14/11/2019 05:41

Are you? He wants a a switch

We’re not talking about you or your son Confused we’re talking about the OP’s dilemma. The toothbrush comment was also in reference to that. We got necessities like that because mum couldn’t afford a stocking full of toys, and it cut down on clutter (which is what this thread is about).

AwkwardFucker · 14/11/2019 06:06

We’re not talking about you or your son

Then why did you quote what I said about me and my son and answer it? 😂 the fuck??

ManiacalLapwing · 14/11/2019 07:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarrenFieldofFucks · 14/11/2019 07:40

At 13 that seems a bit mean. She's only just moving out of childhood. The others are adults so that's different.

churchandstate · 14/11/2019 08:29

I could buy a 13 year old DC one Christmas gift.

churchandstate · 14/11/2019 08:29

Couldn’t - not could.

vivacian · 14/11/2019 08:40

Do other children really get excited about finding essentials in their stocking, as in things that are not special that you would buy otherwise?

Yes, we were, it's nice to get new things. But it was the eighties, I'm happy to accept that today's children would feel differently. I guess we couldn't understand why our parent's were excited about a satsuma.

MarshaBradyo · 14/11/2019 08:42

We still got the satsuma plus loads of chocolate and sweets. No other stuff. I quite liked that bulby thing filling out the bottom of the sock. I don’t think we ate it but traditions are nice.

Averyyounggrandmaofsix · 14/11/2019 08:59

I think the OP is going a good way to get her youngest daughter jealous of the baby that is moving into her home. I assume 25 year-old didn't have to cut down on presents when her younger sister was born (much the same age gap) so really do not understand this post at all.

VardySheWrote · 14/11/2019 09:11

You can buy what they want - when you can afford it - and still top up with real presents.

if the only thing a child can possibly want and nothing else at all is video game related, I would be very worried and it would make it a very good reason NOT to buy it! How can a child do nothing else, have no other interest? Unless there's a massive drip feed and the poor kid is stuck in a hospital bed, I would think I am doing something very wrong as a parent.

AwkwardFucker · 14/11/2019 09:24

if the only thing a child can possibly want and nothing else at all is video game related, I would be very worried and it would make it a very good reason NOT to buy it! How can a child do nothing else, have no other interest? Unless there's a massive drip feed and the poor kid is stuck in a hospital bed, I would think I am doing something very wrong as a parent.

Really? Confused in this day and age when every bloody kid has consoles and listens to his friends talk about them all day long you would find it weird that a kid would want one? Hmm

Of course he has other interests. He already has all the things that interest him. A bike, scooter, trampoline, sporting stuff, plenty of toys.

What an odd thing to say. Doing something wrong as a parent because your kid doesn’t have any video games? Hmm

Tminus3days · 14/11/2019 09:29

We spend about £50 on a couple of gifts and also do a trip to the local pantomime (about £15 a ticket). I do think £200 is excessive. Can't you get her a cheaper phone? There are some decent smartphones for around £100.