Sent DS to nursery with no breakfast.

[tobebebebe]

DS is almost 2 and is going through a bit of a difficult phase at the moment where everything is "NO" and he throws himself on the floor about 455 times a day.

He goes to nursery on a Tuesday, starts at 8 and is fed almost way more than he eats at home. This morning at 7.30am he was walking around the kitchen demanding "KISPS" (crisps) I had already served him a small bowl of toast and some warm ribena in a cup - both of which were lobbed back at me. He wasn't having crisps (melty puffs) at 7.30am NOPE.

He went on for a good 25 minutes, kept crying out and shouting KISSSSPSSSSS like his world was collapsing.

I drove him to nursery with him crying the whole way, then he practically ignored me when I left (usually he can be a bit clingy)

I've been feeling guilty ALL day. I sent him to nursery with an empty tummy and emotions running high. Should I have given in to him for an easy life?

My DD has mornings where she wouldn’t eat much before nursery, I just always mentioned it to the staff and they ensured that she ate something at breakfast.

I’m sure he’ll be fine. It’s hard work in the mornings getting everyone ready and out the door!

Sounds like a tough start to the day for both of you, I hope you’re ok. I would not have given crisps either. I would probably have sent the toast and ribena to nursery for him to have once he’d calmed down - possibly an option for another day. I hope he’s calmer this evening.

You don’t want to teach him if he shouts loud enough & long enough (and throws things) he can have whatever he wants.
Just make sure nursery knows he didn’t eat & had a rough start.

Also, don’t feel guilty! It’s not like he won’t be offered food at nursery. We all have bad mornings.

Should I have given in to him for an easy life?

Absolutely not, that will make your life much harder if he knows you'll give in.

As others have said, just say to nursery that he hasn't had his breakfast (and stop feeling guilty!).

No I don't think so. They will have fed him plenty at nursery and he has forgotten all about it by now. But if you give in he will be trying his arm for these every morning. It's all just a phase...stay strong !

Kisps is just the cutest!

Don’t feel guilty. You did the right thing. The sooner he learns that he can’t just always demand and get the better for him and the easier for you.

DD used to be like this and she eats everything put in front of her now (though she still sometimes has her moments). If she had her way it would be fish fingers and beans every night. But she’s learned that no amount of kicking off is going to make that happen now. Finally.

Good luck. Sending 🍷

No kisps! 😂

Bless him. He’ll have forgotten all about it, will have been fed and might know in the future that breakfast isn’t kisps.

Solidarity with you OP, from the mum of another nearly two year old who has done similar x

Should you have given in? I don't think you should, no. I sent my 2 year old to playgroup the other day in similar circumstances, I warned the staff what had happened so she might be hungry early and they said it was not a problem, they would offer an early snack if she did. She came home her usual chatty self (and we haven't had a recurrence of breakfast refusal since).

I used to work in Early Years and honestly, you'd be surprised at just how common this is. Do NOT feel guilty.

Don't make a rod for you own back, a hungry child would have eaten breakfast given

As long as nursery knew, he'll be fine. They'll have made sure he ate something and he will probably be less demanding there; it's always the way!

This morning my conversation with 2 year old

M. What do you want for breakfast
T. Ice cream
M. You can have toast or krispies
T. Cookies
M. Toast or krispies
T. Soup
M. Banana then?
T. Ice cream

I ignore toddler for about 10 minutes.

T. I'm sad
M. Why are you sad
T. Cause I am
M. Do you want a hug
T. Yes please
M. Will you eat your banana
T. Yes

I have tried taking things away. Saying we wont be doing an activity etc etc only ignoring works at the moment.

Toddler barely eaten anything so far. Has a cold so think that's the reason.

It's very hard but they are safe at nursery and nursery will encourage eating. Also pack mentality kicks in. If other children are eating then they will tend to follow suit.

I try to eat at the same time as toddler so they know its food time

Reminds me of the time I took my then 2 yr old DS to nursery naked!! He refused to get dressed. Nursery were fine and he never refused to get dressed again!! He's 16 now. Must remember to remind him tonight!! If only we had camera phones then!

Yes, that's absolutely fine. While my 2 year old eats more than my nearly 7 year old (he's one of those children who 'likes his food' you might say), if ever either of them wouldn't eat breakfast for whatever reason, I would just tell the nursery staff at drop off. They would offer more snack at snacktime, which is literally like an hour after drop off anyway. If he is truly hungry before then, I'm sure they would make sure he had a cup of milk or a piece of toast.

There is no advantage to giving into whining about food. My mum was one of those types who couldn't bare to see me ever not have what I wanted and she gave in to all sorts of indulgences just for a peaceful life. Cue me, at 10 years old, being served a breakfast of ben & jerry's cookie dough ice cream in my god damn bed because that's what I demanded and she hated saying no. Needless to say, I had a lot of dental problems as a teenager. Thankfully, the experience did mean I grew up with a healthy appreciation of the value of boundaries in parenting.

Ps. Kids need to learn they can't have what they want by throwing themselves on the floor and screaming. Simple early lesson. Well done.

How do you do a bowl of toast?

My nearly 3 ds is very similar OP. He has been to nursery without breakfast a couple of times now because he refused the breakfast I made him. I don't have time to re-do breakfast if he changes his mind so for him it's either eat what we have made, or don't. I just tell the nursery and they make sure he has breakfast

God dd has been having tantrums almost daily since Halloween because I (stupidly) let her have ONE sweet the next morning and now she thinks they’re an acceptable breakfast

Don’t give in! Or you’ll just spend weeks trying to rectify the situation. Don’t feel guilty, we all have to say no otherwise toddlers would never wear clothes and eat only crisps forever. It won’t have done him any harm.

My toddler asks for Kisps, Chokilate, sweeties every single morning. After exhausting his list, which will have a random dinosaur, train and bicycle to eat for breakfast, he will always go back to weetabix. 😂

@Biancadelrioisback I often put the toddler's toast in a bowl, I thought it was fairly common practice?

You didn’t send him without breakfast? He had breakfast, he chose not to eat it. He was subsequently hungry.

That’s how they learn!

Nothing wrong with this at all, dd choice was eat breakfast at home or banana in the car. If it wasn't eaten I'd hand the banana to nursery and say she refused breakfast, they always had a snack at 9.30 anyway so they would just say they'd do their best to encourage her then.
She's never been a great morning/breakfast person and neither am I.

YANBU at all, don't give in to ludicrous demands or he'll think he can do it all the time.

'Kisps' is adorable though!

If my 2-year-old won't eat breakfast I drop him off with a fruit pouch or similar and make sure nursery know he's not eaten.

@midnightmisssuki mmm, tasty dinosaurs!