Do you think people reveal their true selves when drunk?

[UsedtobeFeckless]

I've got a mate who is confidant, sensible and well balanced when sober and a self-loathing, paranoid mess when they've had a skinfull. DP thinks this is her real self and she needs help and l'm more inclined to think people say any old stuff when they are plastered.

If you try to raise any of the things she says after the event she laughs it off ...

No, I don't think my drunk self is any more real than my sober self. Being pissed messes with inhibitions a bit, it doesn't reveal some great truth. And alcohol being a depressant, it's hardly surprising that it evokes negative thoughts and feelings in many people.

I don’t think so either

Sober I’m quite introverted and anti-social. When I’ve had a few I turn into the life and soul of the party who loves everyone and busts amazing dance moves

It does depend on what I’m drinking - gin makes me cry, I get very argumentative on whisky.

I’m volatile when I’m really pissed. I’m so drunk I can’t remember, so if I’m THAT drunk I can’t remember, I’m THAT drunk to have very little control. Still no excuse - sometimes it just happens though. Personally, no. It sounds to me like your DP has a problem with your mate and he’d prefer you to not think as much of her. I’ve got someone very very close to me, alike your DP. They’ve lost everything. I can still see how alcohol changes you. Alcohol is a drug, it ruins lives, it’s addictive, it kills. You probably wouldn’t say that about someone under another drug influence, would you? It’s their true self. Maybe if they’re slightly pissed, not slurred and not really able to speak/stand.

Absolutely alcohol reveals the true self behind the mask of whatever that person thinks is socially acceptable. Obviously moods change so sometimes drunk people express a different mood. But if that is very regular then yes, perhaps she needs very real help.

I don't know if it's age/circumstance or the actual alcohol.

Beer/ale used to make me angry as hell in my early 20's. I'd have screaming arguments with my BF in the street at university! I cannot actually believe looking back that was me, but I have hazy memories of it. I'm the most socially anxious, shy little mouse in reality.

Red wine in my early 30's makes me relaxed, confident and ready to take on the world! (hence why it's all I drink now!)

Drink me is really a really friendly sort who likes to complement everyone on their outfit, is funny and outgoing although she is permenantly lost. We are not friends.

Some people get very angry when they’ve had too much to drink, that tells me there’s a lot of repressed stuff going on

Similarly people who get upset when drunk are likely repressing stuff when they’re not drunk

I hardly drink but when I do I’m generally a happy drunk and I think that’s because I’m generally happy with my life.

Some people have an air of confidence when sober but deep down are wracked with issues of self confidence.

Going to a nice pub and setting the world to rights with my oldest friends and several pints of Real Ale used to be my greatest pleasure in life.

Sadly, after a particularly long session I said some awful things to a friends new girlfriend, and to him, about what I thought of her and their relationship.

An apology wouldn't solve anything; it's one of those 'can't take it back or forget it' moments.

The context to the original post is, without the alcohol, I might have just continued to mildly think the things I said, knowing it was simply my opinion, and wouldn't have dreamed of saying what I did out loud and ruining a long friendship.

So yes, alcohol does reveal things that go unsaid or noticed.

It really isn't a very good thing is it? when you really think about the damage it does.

White wine (especially when it's coming up to that time of the month) and I'll KILL a man.

Oh me too! I don't drink it any more. I go horrible. Especially Picpoule De Pinet (or however you spell that). It makes me psychotic.

No. I know people like to harp on about how people speak the truth when drunk but it's a load of nonsense. We lose the capacity to apply reason and logic when drunk, so we do and say things we otherwise wouldn't. It doesn't mean they're a true reflection of us, I could be telling everyone I'm the real wonder woman.

I believe alcohol can increase anxiety. Alcohol can have a jekal and hyde effect on some people the chemicals mess with their brain.
So not necessarily their true self at all.
It can be true with words, I believe what is on a drunken person's lips was on their sober mind.

I am actually quite surprised that the question is asked, as I thought everyone knew alcohol reduces your inhibitions and reveals the real you. It is where the infamous latin saying "In Vino Veritas" (with wine [alcohol] comes the truth). We all have a filter; something that helps us moderate our behaviour, our thoughts, feelings and reactions. Alcohol affects the brain to remove that filter, to remove or reduce inhibitions. People who normally are able to control their reactions and attitudes/behaviour lose that ability when drunk. The result is the 'real you' comes through. We all have self doubts. It seems your friend is not as confident as you think, deep down and, like all of us; wears a 'mask' in public, and the real true her breaks through when alcohol causes the mask to slip.

I don't think it does reveal the real person or thoughts. I think with a few drinks it lowers the inhibitions and so something that you've wanted to say or do but not dared to, happens.
But, I do think sometimes being a bit drunk makes the perfect excuse to say or do something you know will cause a problem, but can then try and take back when sober because you're drunk when it happens.
I know that if I'm angry enough, I'll say something that I have been holding back, knowing it's not a great idea, same goes for a bit drunk I think.
Totally trashed though I think it addles thinking and logic, and wouldn't set too much store in what's said.
One common theme with drunk people though (work at a wedding/party venue so see a lot when I'm sober) is an inability to let things go. They tend to be like a stuck record if something touches an emotion and just go on and on. Drunk people also rarely know when enough is enough either and a common theme when told no more is anger and aggression, I've had tears before a couples of times but generally people just get arsey about it. A couple of times I've been hugged and lauded a Goddess by the few that realise that actually they've had enough, and I'm saving them from an even worse hangover, but that's definitely the booze talking!

I don't agree; I have lovely friends who've been all different types of drunks over the years depending on what's going on in their lives. I think it brings things out more, makes you more abrupt, more direct and more blunt because it lowers inhibitions.

I don't agree that it's anyone's true self, though; it's like saying cocaine makes you your true self; it depends on your emotional and mental state as to how you are when you're drunk or coked up, and it could change in the space of one evening, so nope I'm not convinced.

Another thought - drinking impairs the reasoning part of your brain so you are less able to weigh things up and make appropriate decisions after drinking.

So I wouldn't say its 'the real you' but part of that person, an impaired version.

My (now) ex partner said things whilst a bit tipsy which I couldn't forgive nor forget. It ended our relationship eventually.

My (now) ex partner said things whilst a bit tipsy which I couldn't forgive nor forget. It ended our relationship eventually.

This happened to me too LockSmyth and it is the main (but not the only) reason I think drunks generally just say what is already somewhere in their minds. I wish I had come to this conclusion several years earlier as, despite all his denials, his subsequent actions showed that his drunk self did indeed reveal his true self. This is now what I think - despite what drunk people tell me - and is why I try not to stay around when people get more than a little tipsy.

No, this is just a myth. Alcohol changes your reactions in many ways but it doesn’t unmask a “true” self

No i don't

I think it reduces your inhibitions and i think our inhibitions play a large part in who we really are

Yep.
Drink reveals the true person.
It loosens the tongue and releases inhibitions.

I don't think it is a question of alcohol releasing the inner person, because for most of us self-control and some degree of having a filter is a key part of our personality and it's also important for oiling the social wheels.

We all have an unfiltered self. But it is generally a bit problematic and we need to moderate it sometimes because that unfiltered persona can hurt other people. Really badly.

Having said that, my most authentic, meaningful, visceral relationship is with someone who drinks too much and has no filter, and who has seen me repeatedly without the I'm a good upstanding citizen filter.

I think our problem with alcohol in this country is because there is still so much emotional repression, and we are all far, far too polite and guarded. Alcohol removes inhibitions and that is why it's so entrenched.

That's probably a bit off-topic on which case apologies.

Not always. I said something ridiculous to a friend when very drunk and it's not something I even think when sober unless I have some underlying dissociative identity disorder. I have also, I was told afterwards been very flirty with people I don't remotely fancy. This is only when I've been so drunk that I can't remember any of it which is rare. I don't drink to excess any more mainly because of this. It's quite scary.

Fudgebrownie the different types of drunk that your friends show would surely reflect their true selves at that point of time?
I agree alcohol lowers inhibitions but I also agree it shows a true self.
For example...a colleague tried it on with someone completely inappropriate...
I get rat arsed...dance like a fat Shakira , bat my eye lashes but would never dream of doing what they did. - it's either in you or not!!
If I was to do something horrendous with alcohol I know it would be something I'd do deep down.

It's tricky. Lots of people use alcohol to escape. I've met quite a few people who drank to forget abuse, which didn't work & they were v angry & violent when drunk. I rarely drink but I'm way more socially confident & extrovert when I do & by nature I'm quite antisocial & introvert. George Best always said he started drinking heavily because he lacked confidence socially. Gin used to make my DM really weepy & she had a lot of emotional issues she was in denial about when sober. On wine she'd get very goady too.