Do you think people reveal their true selves when drunk?

[UsedtobeFeckless]

I've got a mate who is confidant, sensible and well balanced when sober and a self-loathing, paranoid mess when they've had a skinfull. DP thinks this is her real self and she needs help and l'm more inclined to think people say any old stuff when they are plastered.

If you try to raise any of the things she says after the event she laughs it off ...

She was probably just having a bad time of it at that specific point OP. We can't all be happy and confident all the time.

No no no. When you are drunk the chemical removal of inhibition is also accompanied by distorted thinking. Things get out of proportion to reality, perspective is warped.

People go mad when they're really drunk. And talk total bollocks. And do stupid stuff.

So no. When drunk, their coherence and ability to think is chemically affected so their cognitive functioning is impaired.

Aka they are not themselves.

I don't think it necessarily reveals your "true" self but it both accentuates your personality and lowers your inhibitions so it will allow parts of your personality to emerge which would be under wraps sober. If you're a person who covers up your personality to a great extent to fit in with a particular environment (such as at work), drink is going to allow those parts of the personality which are normally repressed to come out.

As someone else posted upthread, if someone's personality changes significantly under the influence it is a pretty reliable indicator that they either have a drink problem or are depressed or finding life quite difficult.

It sounds as if your friend is someone who covers up the way she feels quite a lot with a fake confident/sociable personality and alcohol allows the insecurities and problems to rise to the surface. It doesn't necessarily mean she is naturally unhappy but that there's an unhappiness at this point in her life which alcohol is allowing her to reveal.

Does she drink a lot?

I think it's really simplistic to say drunk people speak the truth, what a, load of bollocks. Alcohol is a, chemical, simple, you wouldn't say someone coming around from a general atheistic spoke the truth would you? Alcohol and mood is so complex, how many people saying it brings out the truth have kissed someone they wouldn't touch with a barge poke in real life? Hence the expression "beer goggles" or do we really like ugly munters but hide it until we've had a drink?

Barge POLE

She doesn't drink a massive amount and isn't generally miserable after she's had a few. It's only happened a couple of times that we know of when she's been really gloomy and really pissed.
DP is a bit sensative to this as both his Dad and Sister have issues with drinking too much on a regular basis.

As I've aged drinking makes me very depressed, even the hang over messes with my mind. That never used to happen.

Ugh NO! I hate it when people say that being drunk just magnifies your true self, it’s so far from true. I always wonder if the people who say this have ever even been drunk because if they had, surely they’d know it’s not true? Being drunk makes you just that - DRUNK! You’re so far from your true self it’s crazy!

Not eating, then drinking, entirely messes you up. She needs to drink less and eat more in future! I say that from experience. I'm usually a happy drunk but once or twice in my life I've ended up drinking a load at impromptu get togethers and been maudlin, angry or just sick. My personality change is vast. I ramble nonsense like I'm sleep talking. Never again will I do that

I think it’s a messy mix from which you can’t really draw reliable conclusions.
I’ve experienced (self and others) saying things in ‘unfiltered’ drink state which have been truths or partial truths which would not have been disclosed sober.
But more often I’ve experienced it as raw irrational unrestrained nonsense (self and others). I assume we all have subconscious instinctive raw unformed ideas/feelings which a moments thought or reflection or context or whatever transform into considered complex experiential stuff.
Drunkenness strips away all of that, not to reveal any truth, but to reveal a sludgy unformed mess.

I too disagree with your DP, for the many examples other PPs have given, of which I could see many which mostly
A 'bit drunk' exacerbates personality, a 'lot drunk' can entirely change it and mood, especially on an empty stomach or something like Tequila shots. People can talk rubbish , which comes from nowhere, when seriously drunk.

If Dcousin had said that after 1-2 glasses of wine, I'd pay more heed to it, but when smashed drunk- nope, best forgotten.

Some have had scary reactions to alcohol. Others are allergic to it. No. I don’t think it necessarily reveals the true self. Alcohol is a depressant. Your friend is probably very sensitive to alcohol and gets depressed because of it.

Alcohol is a drug. This is my personal experience with another drug, codeine. I can take it mixed with paracetamol, even 30/500 4 times a day. I tried taking codeine in the same dosage separately under doctors advice. I became suicidally depressed. My thought process was “I know it’s the codeine but I just want to die.” Needless to say I came off and the symptoms subsided.

Have you tried having a serious discussion with your friend? It is a worrying symptom as she may act on it one day especially if combined with other drugs.

When I'm steaming drunk I can be a right antagonistic arsehole, but that is definitely not the real me. Alcohol totally messes with my brain, hence I drink in moderation and try to avoid getting drunk.

I dont recognize the person I have become before when I've been hideously drunk. I have found it completely incomprehensible that I have behaved or acted in that way so at odds with my sober self. I dont drink much now and was t total for over 7 years. I like what @HeronLanyon said. Made most sense to me.

Thanks for all the thoughts - l reckon l'll try and have a general "how's it going" sort of chat on a regular basis but not get all heavy unless she leads the conversation into that area as l don't want her to feel judged and get stressed about it.

Yes. Absolutely i believe it reveals whats inside which can change over the years.

I think it’s just that inhibitions are lowered so something you wouldn’t tell someone about suddenly feels like such a fucking good idea!

Although I have one friend that is lovely normally but when she get pissed she just turns into a nasty little bitch. We have all learned the turning point now and that’s usually when everyone starts disappearing off home!
So Yeha, I’m inclined to agree with your husband!

If you're a person who covers up your personality to a great extent to fit in with a particular environment (such as at work), drink is going to allow those parts of the personality which are normally repressed to come out
I think that is SO true. That's why those mousy, ultra nice accommodating people become outrageously flirty and belligerent at the office xmas party. Alchohol removes filters and the more filters you have, and the more carefully you try to please and fit in normally, the bigger the change. Probably because the sense of release is greater.
It's not that the true self is revealed exactly, more that some people will do and say things they would NEVER do sober.
Those of us who are already quite gregarious, and don't really have much of a filter normally, will tend to just become a bit more giggly/daft/ chatty but there won't be a massive change.

Yes

I think it varies. Alcohol usually magnifies or exaggerates your mood or underlying feelings. I've certainly had relationships where people have said and done very unkind or hurtful things because of drink that they regretted deeply afterwards. But i usually think there is a grain of truth in the things that are said. Its a depressant so it can make people extremely maudlin and again go beyond their usual state of mind into an extreme. And it can also make people do and say things that are completely out of character.

Hmm I'm not sure, I think to a degree yes but... If you think about the effect on the brain (I'm not a neuro-scientist) but I think it can alter personality too in some people. In the same way dementia or a stroke can because of significant changes to the brain.

My true self is extremely confident and happy if this is true normally I'm quite neutral and relaxed.

I do know plenty of people who turn nasty and violent when they've had a drink though, they are the ones I keep well away from even when they're sober.

I don't think so.

If you think of drunkenness as a lens through which someone's personality shines, it's more of a warping, distorting lens than a magnifying lens.

I don't think it's their 'true selves'. I think alcohol messes with your personality and accentuates some characteristics.
Beer goggles is definitely a thing though.