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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thrown out of restaurant for bringing newborn baby

687 replies

toddlermom · 10/11/2019 13:39

Hi all,

Just need to vent and wondering if I should complain and if so who to. We went to one of my (ex) favourite London restaurants (Amaya) last night (wearing 5 week old baby in cloth sling, as I often do).

Walked in, got to our table, I took off my jacket and went to sit down but the waitress stopped me and said I couldn't sit down and had to leave the restaurant as she could now see (that I had taken off jacket) that I had a baby and 'children aren't allowed in the restaurant". I said it was a baby - who was asleep - and unlikely to wakeup - and she said it didn't matter, they don't let any children in the restaurant.

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

They don't have any social media presence so I can't even tweet them and vent on social. I could write a letter to the owner? Or is there anything else I should do? Or AIBU and just not go there again? Any advice welcome!! Thank you!

OP posts:
BMW6 · 10/11/2019 14:34

Great free publicity for this restaurant OP!

I wonder whether you knew about their child-free policy and had your baby strapped to your chest hoping they wouldn't notice.......

BlouseAndSkirt · 10/11/2019 14:34

This reply has been deleted

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Debfronut · 10/11/2019 14:34

I don't know any restaurants that don't allow children. I wish we had some here we don't eat out very much anymore. London is too far away. OP you have to abide by the rules as does everybody else.

HairyFloppins · 10/11/2019 14:34

I like the sound of child free restaurants. They would get my business.

I had a noisy newborn, they aren't all quiet.

Petrichor11 · 10/11/2019 14:34

YABU and entitled

They have a clear policy about when and what age children are allowed in. For some unknown reason you decided this couldn’t possibly apply to you. Then got pissed off when the staff politely but firmly told you that it did.

Groovinpeanut · 10/11/2019 14:35

The exaggeration in the thread title may also apply to the exaggeration in the behaviour of the restaurant staff.
They explained their evening dining policy with regards to children. If you thought that policy applied to everyone but you, well that's your problem. They make their policy more than clear.

tillytrotter1 · 10/11/2019 14:36

Your name and shaming attempt hasn't worked out for you, has it?!

The restaurant will become well known as a place where one can eat in peace, without 'cute' baby noises ruining the evening.

LucaFritz · 10/11/2019 14:36

Welcome to your first harsh lesson of Parenthood. Not everyone thinks your child is amazing like you do and chances are most places like that don't allow babies

WorraLiberty · 10/11/2019 14:37

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

Where they really though? Or was that just the way you took it because they were telling you something you didn't want to hear?

Either way, YABU unless you told them at the time of booking that you'd be 'wearing' a baby and they said it was ok.

MoonbeamsandPolkaDots · 10/11/2019 14:37

If you were in a party of more than two, did you ask if there was a private room where you could enjoy your dinner?

If it was just you and your partner, maybe you could have suggested that they box up a meal for you to take home? I'm sure they would have been happy to agree to ether of these options.,

MrsApplepants · 10/11/2019 14:38

I am definitely booking a table at this restaurant next time I want a nice meal. It sounds like heaven.

rwalker · 10/11/2019 14:38

Very entitled TBH if i'd gone for a child free night wouldn't want to hear or possibly smell full nappies.
Completely out of order to want to slate them on social media with the intention of damaging there repution for following there rules you don't agree with.
Also they will off lost revenue from you taking up a table with toking it then not using they won't be taking to social media to slate you for that will they.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 10/11/2019 14:39

Yabu
Pisses me right off when I go out for an evening meal in a good restaurant and people have brought the baby. Not appropriate op

BumbleBeee69 · 10/11/2019 14:39

Why? What is so wrong with having a child free restaurant? Why should children be included in absolutely, everything, everywhere, at any time?

Exactly... and we have adult only Hotels Cruise Ships.. everything now.. it's great Grin

myrtleWilson · 10/11/2019 14:39

Blouseandshirt - I disagree, their child policy was easily locatable, the OP has been to the restaurant previously and this isn't her first child so whilst every child is different its not her first rodeo.

stucknoue · 10/11/2019 14:40

If the rule is no kids then it's no kids. Babies are children last time I checked. 90% + of all eating establishments allow children

AlexaAmbidextra · 10/11/2019 14:40

There was no need for them to be rude though.

We don’t know that they were. Maybe OP perceives them as being rude and unfriendly simply because she didn’t get her own way, Hmm

AgeShallNotWitherHer · 10/11/2019 14:41

Love that restaurant. (And the fact that it is child free at times. Why would I pay for a babysitter and then listen to other people's kids??)

Also agree YABU.

And parents frequently think their kids are not bothering anyone - and try telling a mother to leave her £50 dinner because her child is screaming.. "Oh, he'll be quiet in a minute.." Yeah, right,

Grannybags · 10/11/2019 14:41

Places like this have to have a blanket policy so that it is fair to everyone. No children should be simple to understand. Only well behaved or quiet children could easily be open to interpretation. Much easy to just say none at all.

PixieDustt · 10/11/2019 14:41

they should have spoken to you more politey but no children means no children. Doesn't matter your baby is 5 weeks, that's the policy 🤷🏻‍♀️

UhareFouxisci · 10/11/2019 14:42

I am not so sure that all these answers supporting a no-children policy are reasonable in this case.

A new born baby pretty much needs to be within arm's reach of the mum, especially a breastfed child.

Pregnancy and maternity status is a discrimination protected characteristic. You are protected for 26 weeks after giving birth under the definition for discrimination on this grounds.

A restaurant is quite at liberty to have a no children policy. But extending that to include even tiny newborn babies is almost the same as having a "no pregnant women" policy. The restaurant therefore discriminated against you illegally by ensuring that you as the mother of a newborn baby had less access to their services than someone who isn't the mother of a newborn baby.

nethunsinthatway · 10/11/2019 14:42

Hmmm I have a puppy.. I know they say no dogs but he’s likely to just sit there looking cute and sleep... would this be ok? Hmm

BiggestJulie · 10/11/2019 14:42

@Mummyoflittledragon , exactly my point. Diners ought to be allowed to enjoy their meal in peace, so the criteria should not be age of the child, it should be whether or not they are disruptive. Obviously it is easier to ban all children than throw out the disruptive ones (and their parents), but the easy solution is not necessarily the right one.

I am well aware, as I said above, that there are specific licensing laws (gambling, sex, drinking only establishments) where customers need to be 18+. But where these laws do not apply, then it seems to me that it becomes unreasonable age discrimination. My view is simply that this MAY be unlawful, and if it isn’t it ought to be.

I think the UK is still pretty child unfriendly and that is not good for society in general.

I continue to buck the trend of this thread and agree with the OP. The restaurant was unreasonable.

Soubriquet · 10/11/2019 14:42

If I went to a restaurant that was child free and they had a child there (even if it was a 5 week old baby) I would not be impressed

So yabu

Tellmetruth4 · 10/11/2019 14:42

Bollocks do the French love babies more than the British. The top restaurants in Paris are not child friendly, even if children are allowed in the other diners are shooting daggers in case your child dares make a noise. My French friends were forever ‘shushing’ their kids.

Also try and find step free access for your pram on the metro. It doesn’t exist.