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AIBU?

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Original poster

Thrown out of restaurant for bringing newborn baby

687 replies

toddlermom · 10/11/2019 13:39

Hi all,

Just need to vent and wondering if I should complain and if so who to. We went to one of my (ex) favourite London restaurants (Amaya) last night (wearing 5 week old baby in cloth sling, as I often do).

Walked in, got to our table, I took off my jacket and went to sit down but the waitress stopped me and said I couldn't sit down and had to leave the restaurant as she could now see (that I had taken off jacket) that I had a baby and 'children aren't allowed in the restaurant". I said it was a baby - who was asleep - and unlikely to wakeup - and she said it didn't matter, they don't let any children in the restaurant.

The manager came over, said the same thing, they were really, really rude and unfriendly. Didn't say sorry or sympathise, empathise in any way.

They don't have any social media presence so I can't even tweet them and vent on social. I could write a letter to the owner? Or is there anything else I should do? Or AIBU and just not go there again? Any advice welcome!! Thank you!

OP posts:
KateFoster · 10/11/2019 16:40

If I went to a restaurant with a no child policy and a baby was there I wouldn't be happy at all, it's not a child free restaurant if a child is in it. And yes of course your baby is a child.

ClaraThePigeon · 10/11/2019 16:40

Children banned from restaurants, one of those ‘only in the U.K.’ moments.

HmmYes, according to a quick Google it's only the U.K, New Zealand, Australia, Canada,Mexico, Germany, Japan etc that have some restaurants where children are either banned or aren't allowed until they reach a certain age.

Besides so what if it was UK only. Great ideas have to start somewhere.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 10/11/2019 16:41

YABU. Their website is clear. Why do you consider that you are an exception? I’m 100% with the restaurant with this one.

FrancisCrawford · 10/11/2019 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 10/11/2019 16:50

I've worked in adult testing environments previously, where people go to do online tests like driving theory. I was always amazed by the number of people who rocked up with infants and said they were taking them into the test room as they were breastfeeding.

No it's a test, where people are trying to concentrate, in silence, of course you can't take a baby that could scream the place down or stink it out with a well timed poo.

Some people have no real capacity to see outside of their own wants and needs to consider other people's wants and needs.

This restaurant wants to be a child free location at certain times of the day, their customers obviously like that as they choose to eat there in the ambience that has been created.

Legoandloldolls · 10/11/2019 16:50

Hmm, it's not ageist. It's common sense. Is it ageist to not allow 35 year olds to enrol into reception class? Can I bring my 16 year old son to baby singing classes?

Lots of restaurants kids later at night. Pick one.

I'm afraid childbirt simply impacts on ones life. Most people choose not to go to restaurants late at night for a few months post birth, get a babysitter / not have kids if they cant cope pausing or adjusting life for a few months.

Be prepaired for many shocks in the next 18 years of your life.

makingmammaries · 10/11/2019 16:52

‘Yes, according to a quick Google it's only the U.K, New Zealand, Australia, Canada,Mexico, Germany, Japan etc that have some restaurants where children are either banned or aren't allowed until they reach a certain age.

Besides so what if it was UK only. Great ideas have to start somewhere..’

Surprised to hear about Mexico. The other countries you list are certainly dysfunctional enough to treat children as second-class citizens.

Compare the behaviour of British teens with those from continental Europe and then tell me it’s a great idea.

oreomum · 10/11/2019 16:54

Babies are children. I know for weddings, babies in arms don't follow the no-child rule but for the rest of the tiMe, they are treated the same.

I think it's very reasonable for restaurants to have days or times where children aren't allowed and it's much easier for them to have a blanket rule rather than quiet children allowed rule because lots of adults can't hear or see when their kids aren't abiding by restaurant etiquette and think that their kids should be the exception to any rule. As a parent you'll see this a lot like parents thinking that a Keep Off The Grass sign applying to everyone except their child.

Drabarni · 10/11/2019 16:54

I would recommend following the examples of the continent where well behaved children and babies are ordinarily welcome at restaurants

Yes, but any noise they make is too much in n adult environment. My meal would already have been disturbed by peppa bloody pig. You don't want that anyway, let alone a restaurant.

Op baby is allowed then it's someone with a toddler complains, next thing the exclusively child free restaurant loses its best clientele.

teachermam · 10/11/2019 16:56

How do you inform them when booking that you had a baby with you if not and that's the rules well they had the right to ask you to leave it can't be one rule for you and a different rule for everybody else

RedDogsBeg · 10/11/2019 16:58

makingmammaries you've clearly not experienced some Spanish teenagers in full flow. Teenagers the world over can be troublesome no Country can claim theirs are routinely wonderfully behaved.

No-one is suggesting or treating children as second class citizens just respecting the fact that adults are allowed some time and places that cater just for adults. I don't understand your obsession with everywhere including children all the time.

Cherrysoup · 10/11/2019 17:00

I even checked a chain pub the other day to see what their child policy was. Given it’s à Michelin star restaurant, I’d expect the OP to have checked in advance. Bit silly not to.

Sweetpotatoaddict · 10/11/2019 17:04

I’m just curious how the op knew her newborn was unlikely to wake up. My newborns always had the potential to wake and wail at the most inopportune moments.

Tellmetruth4 · 10/11/2019 17:04

Yes compare the behaviour of British teens to those on the continent indeed. Have you met large groups of Italian or Spanish teens? They can be just as loud and rude as some British teens. I’ve seen them on trips in central London.

Not all British teens are feral and not all continental teens are quiet and well behaved. Kids in packs can act crazy no matter where they are from. I was not a wild teen. I was not out drinking and fighting nor were any of my friends.

JacquesHammer · 10/11/2019 17:05

The idea of dining in restaurants as a protected characteristic is just delightfully bonkers.

Karwomannghia · 10/11/2019 17:09

What strange very particular rules!

ahhgoongoongoonhaveacupoftea · 10/11/2019 17:10

So children not allowed but yours is the exception? Halloween Biscuit ❄️

RedDogsBeg · 10/11/2019 17:11

As is the concept of breast feeding mothers being discriminated against because their babies must remain within a few feet of them at all times, JacquesHammer what about mothers who formula feed eh, what about them? It's all so bonkers it's untrue but at least it provides an insight into where all the entitlement and me, me, me attitude comes from.

MsTSwift · 10/11/2019 17:16

Behaviour of Spanish French and Italian teens is no different to that of our own they are not all beacons of perfection (hosted teens from these countries for years so know of what I speak)

MrsFezziwig · 10/11/2019 17:17

Well Amaya are going to be rubbing their hands with glee as I (and every other adult who just wants to eat a nice meal in peace) am going to be rushing to book, safe in the knowledge that a no child policy will actually be adhered to rather than being one which only covers “other people’s children”.

LolaSmiles · 10/11/2019 17:19

I think it's very reasonable for restaurants to have days or times where children aren't allowed and it's much easier for them to have a blanket rule rather than quiet children allowed rule because lots of adults can't hear or see when their kids aren't abiding by restaurant etiquette and think that their kids should be the exception to any rule
And if they are of the view that loud/disruptive behaviour is just "kids being kids" and think that people really have an issue with "children laughing", then that usually translates as "as an adult I have zero concern for how the conduct of my children affects others so if you don't accept my children's behaviour then you must be miserable and hate children".

As ever with rules/policies, they have to be written with the lowest denominator in mind.

Phineyj · 10/11/2019 17:27

I'm quite impressed with their rules! Looks like they maximise revenue from the child free and be-childed alike. And I can't shine there's a very large number of parents who'd even want to take a small DC to such a place in the evening.

Phineyj · 10/11/2019 17:27

Imagine. Not shine.

BitOfFun · 10/11/2019 17:34

Does wearing your baby make a difference, btw? Were you hoping to pass it off as a daring outfit choice?

GabsAlot · 10/11/2019 17:35

Its no mcdonalds its a michelin star reataraunt and yes they let children in sometimes so theyre making an effort to include on certain days

i know a restaurant that doesnt allow any kids under 12 full stop not even on faters/mothers day