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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband refusing sex because he wants to build his legs up......

110 replies

HesNotIntoMeIsHe · 10/11/2019 13:09

He needs energy for the gym. Having sex makes his legs weak and he is trying to build them up. He has been a regular gym goer for years and is already quite built up.

WIB an idiot to fall for this?

OP posts:
MrsFoxPlus4Again · 10/11/2019 13:23

The relationships already a shit show of you track his location.

fedup21 · 10/11/2019 13:23

He can't be cheating as I can check his location via his phone due to suspicions a few months ago. He's definitely where he should be.

But he could be cheating in that location?

TheQueef · 10/11/2019 13:24

Does he have erection problems when you do have sex?

Duchessgummybuns · 10/11/2019 13:25

Of course he can say no to sex for any reason but this just seems like a dumb excuse, “not in the mood” would have been fine

HesNotIntoMeIsHe · 10/11/2019 13:25

Excuses vary between him being 'too tired' after sitting downstairs on his phone until long after I've gone to bed or him not wanting to waste his leg work in the gym by having sex.

It'd be after the gym not before.

OP posts:
easyandy101 · 10/11/2019 13:25

It's not uncommon while training

If he's a bodybuilder then they're kinda always training towards an infinite goal aren't they?

HesNotIntoMeIsHe · 10/11/2019 13:26

No ED although he doesn't last long as has always been his way. We used to have a 2nd round but not happening now.

OP posts:
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/11/2019 13:26

Well, he clearly doesn't want to have sex. Maybe he is too tired?

Winterdaysarehere · 10/11/2019 13:27

I would be suggesting you join him at the gym....

MrsFoxPlus4Again · 10/11/2019 13:28

Maybe he is just too tired. Sometimes I just can’t be bothered and don’t want to have sex.

HesNotIntoMeIsHe · 10/11/2019 13:29

I do join him at the gym. I go more than him and I'm always up for it Blush.

Just can't figure out what's going on with him.

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 10/11/2019 13:29

That's just weird OP.Confused

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 10/11/2019 13:30

Why does it matter if his reason is a "thing" or not though?

He's saying that he doesn't want to have sex which we've all got the right to say. It doesn't matter if others agree with our reasons or not. You need to discuss it with him surely to figure out what this means for your relationship?

TheQueef · 10/11/2019 13:31

I wouldn't be worried about round 2, he is 51 Smile
I'd be concerned about steroid use if he couldn't gain or maintain an erection.
A friend of ours started a fitness kick and was buying steroid injections and viagra from a bloke at the gym.
This was a normal sensible man, the fitness thing became an obsession.

Why were you checking his lication? Spidey sense tingling?

iklboo · 10/11/2019 13:31

If he's a bodybuilder then they're kinda always training towards an infinite goal aren't they?

Doesn't stop DH. It's not like they store sperm in their legs and it'll all empty out.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 10/11/2019 13:32

He could easily leave his phone and stuff in a gym locker then go meet someone for an hour. Especially if he knows you track his phone.

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/11/2019 13:35

A melt is similar to a wimp.

SimonJT · 10/11/2019 13:37

Obviously people are welcome to say no to sex, but that is an odd reason.

I work out for at least 45 minutes a day and I’m fairly big muscle wise, I have plenty energy for sex. Yeah, sex makes your legs weak in the moment, but it doesn’t make them physically weak/small.

If I have an event I wouldn’t have sex in the two days before as I like to sleep well and just focus on my goal. But that would be an actual event like an ironman or a tough mudder.

On another note, why are you always tracking him?

Livelovebehappy · 10/11/2019 13:37

Its sad that he feels he needs to come up with an excuse. If I’m tired or having a bit of a rubbish week and don’t feel like it, I just tell my DP. Him making an excuse makes it sound that he thinks you might be annoyed if he just came out with the fact that he was too tired or didn’t feel like it.

Pringlesfortea · 10/11/2019 13:39

Don’t things go south by your 50s ,he’s probably just not able to rise to the occasion,probably need a gp appointment

MeClavdivs · 10/11/2019 13:39

I expect even professional sports people would be able to find a time to have sex with you.

I've Tweeted a few, but they demurred Sad

Zaphodsotherhead · 10/11/2019 13:40

How long has this been going on for? He's perfectly entitled to not want sex 'in the moment', but if it's ongoing (which it sounds as if it might be) then there's more to it.

Ignore the 'weak legs' thing, that's clearly a red herring and the only excuse he could think of at the time.

otterturk · 10/11/2019 13:44

Just asked my seriously hot gym buff flat mate.

He laughed. Apparently training a lot, legs especially, will increase testosterone so if anything he should technically be up for it more. He also thinks it's weird that he would always be working on his legs rather than rotating.

Doesn't sound healthy either way OP. Time to leave?

Buster72 · 10/11/2019 13:51

The no sex while training thing is bollocks...
Some coaches restrict their players/athletes movements befoe a game/tournament because the "looking for" sex takes more out of you than the doing it.

He is allowed to refuse though and doesn't owe you an explanation.

PigletJohn · 10/11/2019 13:53

He's a gym enthusiast willing to give up sex. What makes you believe he is not using steroids?

If he wants to build up his legs, suggest sex standing up.

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