To be outraged that people still think its okay to use 'smacking' as a form of discipline for children?

[Dabbles]

It is seriously disgustign that people still think this is okay. It is not okay. what message does it steach the child? (its okay to hit someone if they dont do what you tell them?)

and for an adult who is physically so much bigger and stronger to hit a child? omg, serioulsy peopl wake the fuck up... it is NOT OKAY!

omg? she smacked your son? what did u say to her?

I asked her not to smack him. I think my exact words were 'Please don't smack him. We don't use smacking to discipline him.' To which she replied 'He'll never learn...' To which I repeated my original statement. To which she rudely tutted at me...to which I replied 'If you can't respect our wishes you need to find somewhere else to stay'. That shut her up. Have since had a long conversation with my DH, who spoke to her and reiterated my message - smack him again, you aren't welcome in my house. Silly cow.

did anyone see 'big train' the other night, it was very funny. a couple were being held by 'under 9's' for years, though they insisted that they wouldn't use violence against them. i lmao

ditto froozykins.

See this is the problem with the smacking debate. Those of us brought up in loving households with the occasional smack don't get the need for hysteria.

Parents who would misuse physical punishment would be no more capable of making sensible use of other punishments either and you end up with either no punishment or with problematic use of other punishments. Think how ignoring a child and sending a child out to the naughty step could be misued by a parent who didn't undertand how psychologically powerful they are. Think of all those people who feel damaged by their childhoods not because of smacking but because of cold treatment by their mothers or fathers.

I often see members of my family wrestle emotionally with a particularly difficult child in my family. He is never smacked but the protracted wranglings and punishments that follow some of his (genuinely quite bad) behaviour are, I think, almost as painful for all concerned. I do sometimes wonder if a quick smack to reinforce authority, then it's all over, wouldn't be better than the misery of him sitting on the stairs AGAIN, wailing AGAIN because he is in trouble AGAIN.

I'm not waving a flag for smacking. I don't smack. Issue has not arisen yet. DD is only 10mo and not yet mobile so not able to get herself into danger or trouble. But I certainly place quite a bit of faith in the parenting insticts of my parents and their parents before them. And it does seem that they didn't bring up quite such badly behaved children as some our generation are managing to...

Hmmmm...see, I agree there are worse things than a quick smack. I wouldnt say the odd smack is 'evil', terrible, bound to cause long term damage etc etc etc (I received the odd smack as a child). I just think its fucking lazy.

my mum and dad did a great job in bringing me up and yes they did smack.

it's fine saying it's not on if you have children that will respond to reasonable debate, but with others surely it's for their own good (how un pc of me)

I don't mind if people think it's lazy. I just mind if they are determined to see it as a massive issue when the massive issue is actually children being brought up with no discipline.

i know this is going back a bit but ive been thinking about this post:

'
Here's one: Maybe it is unreasonable to teach your children to obey you. Instead how about trying to teach your children right from wrong and to have compassion for others? To teach blind obedience by whatever means is not to raise an independent person who can think and reason for themselves. I have a fear that if you successfully elicit obedience from a child(by fear/smacking/punishment/bribery/locking in their rooms/withholding 'treats'/whatever)then they are going to go along with other older kids/gangs/whatever without questioning too.'

how do you teach your child right from wrong etc if you never punish them or expect them to obey you?sometimes,children have to obey rules.i expect my older children to do certain things around the house(such as tidying their rooms,making their beds etc).it wouldnt be wrong of them not to do it,but i think they should do it and they are punished if they dont.

honestly,if i tried to reason with my 8.7 year old dd about everything,i would be there till christmas...'could you tidy your room please' 'why?' 'because you have messed it up' 'i cant be bothered' 'but its your mess' 'so?you cant make me.'and so on.if i couldnt say 'well,if you dont tidy it i will go up and put everything thats on the floor in a bin bag and put it out for the dustmen' then she would never do it and think she can do as she pleases for the rest of her life.

Actually I have smacked once. Used to au pair for the world's naughtiest boy. Once walked into the living room to find him climbing up the dresser like it was a ladder. He was about to bring the thing down on top of him. I tried to pull him off but he clung on even harder. So I smacked him. Really, really hard. The shock made him let go and I got him down.

I hope that if he had been my son he would have been better behaved in the first place but the facts are these:

1. he was not my child
2. I smacked him hard enough to hurt him

It was entirely the right thing to do - he could have killed himself. I doubt he has any memory of it whatsoever. What he probably will remember is that his father used to yell at him from dawn till dusk, endlessly confined him to his bedroom and clearly disliked him intensely.

Agree with divastrop.

Sometimes the reason children have to do certain things is "because I say so". The world does not and should not revolve entirely around what children want to do, even if what they want to do is mainly the good stuff. They also have to know that sometimes they have to do things that they don't want to do, because someone else is in charge. I think most children want to know that someone is in charge.

I think the tide of opinion is turning firmly against smacking; it is much less used nowadays.

I was smacked as a kid and don't use smacking on my child (now age 7). And my parents now think it is not the best approach.

i'm in two minds really, i think some children could really do with a good whack now and again

lol

my dd1 had to go and take something to ds1's teacher.when she got to the classroom ds1 was whinging and crying because the teacher had told him to stop fiddling with his pen or something(ds1 is 9.6).the teacher said to dd1 'give him a clip round the ear for me,will you?you're allowed as you're his sister'.

i thought it was quite funny myself.she was only joking but had been teaching for 30 years,so i can fully understand her wanting to give ds a clip round the ear.

i think some parents would have been straight there complaining to the head though!

Dabbles - i have tried not to get drawn into this, due to your clearly aggressive troll like stance - but the facts of life are (get ready ....try and open your mind to this...) that the irrationality of little immature beings that are NOT adults, leads to:

a) some of us mere mortals to smack in order to get/focus said immature wee ones attention and hey we do usually feel bad about it.

this is VERY VERY different to

b)smacking for the abusive fun of it or under a misguided impression that it is the best form of discipline.

Your black and white stance leads to the a) group (most of us) being made to feel like criminals, rather than the not totally perfect parents that people like you arrogantly demand.

Let's just heap the guilt on us mummys, as if we aren't to blame for all the crap going on in the world as it is