To be outraged that people still think its okay to use 'smacking' as a form of discipline for children?

[Dabbles]

It is seriously disgustign that people still think this is okay. It is not okay. what message does it steach the child? (its okay to hit someone if they dont do what you tell them?)

and for an adult who is physically so much bigger and stronger to hit a child? omg, serioulsy peopl wake the fuck up... it is NOT OKAY!

Themildmanneredjanitor, love it, pmsl

I did write a long post about this - about how I know plenty of people who were smacked as children .......oh sod it - can't be ar*ed.

yes i have. so please don't jump on my back mercy
separation seems to work best and then different methods of consequences. but then, different things work for different people. i still say that telling children that hitting one another and then smacking them does not teach them right.

fwiw i was smacked as a child and yes, it did do me harm because all it taught me was to be frightened of my parents when they were angry.

i don't smack (self righteous smile) .. they are far too old.. but never really did, occasional very very occasioanl smack on bottom, but who is going to say shouting is better? and i do do that i am not a text book i am a human been, as are my dcs

I've dealt with stroppy children fighting, you don't teach them that a smack is best met with a smack! You separate them, bollock the smacker, praise the non violent one. IMO.

actually changed my mind (no suprise there hey LOL). I was smacked as a child, was not afraid of my parents, and didn't think it was ok to hit other people. Same goes for my DH.

infact if it's 100% true that if a child that is smacked (and I'm not talking a damn good beating as that IS wrong) they inturn think its ok to hit people and will be violent adults etc etc.........then why - as the use of smacking as part of teh discipline process (I don't think I know any "smackers" who ONLY use smacking) has ^decreased" has the number of violent crimes/domestic violence/young yobbs on the streets increased/stayed the same.

Surely with the "decline" of smacking we should now be living in a less violent soceity?????

erm... I think you will find that a hell of a lot of parents do smack their kids occassionally even if they aren't brave enough to admit it. Very few kids grow up to be psycopaths or even remotely violent.

Until recently the most parents agreed with "Spare the rod, spoil the child" view point. Shock horror there used to be the cane in most state schools... Honestly is there any evidence that behaviour in schools has improved with the cane being banned.

Personally I think there are better ways of displine. However I think the ones who are really cruel to their kids are parents who ever punish their kids when they misbehave.

Have smacked them both when they were tantrumming but in danger, in order to give them a wake-up call.

DD - aged 3 decided to sit down in middle or road we were crossing.

DS - just would not leave television plug alone.

Have also smacked them both through sheer exasperation and frustration.

Neither have ever hurt or bit or pushed another child to my knowledge, in front of me, or reported to me by nursery or childminder.

DD is 6, DS is 3. Both have been smacked about 3 times in their lives.

Felt bad about it at the time, but no longer feeling any guilt. I remember being smacked once or twice as a child by my mother. Have never been in the least bit frightened of her.

To criminalise me, my mother or anyone like us would be insane.

i never smacked ds2 but he used to hit other children.the only violence he saw at home was ds and dd1 fighting.when i used to go to parent+toddler groups etc,the other parents used to look down their noses at me,assuming ds2 behaved like that because he was smacked at home.he grew out of it when he started playgroup.now dd2(20 months)is staring to do the same,and i have never smacked her either.

i think that parents have the right to dicipline their children as they see fit,as long as its within the law or a one-off reaction to something,but i hate it when other parents assume that you smack your child all the time just because your child smacks others.

I don't smack my three- two of them are bigger than me anyway I did smack the eldest occasionally - didn't feel the need so much with the others - more experienced, 'better' parenting techniques I suppose. Also it's much less acceptable nowadays than it was 18 years ago.

But I dont think the 'you wouldn't hit another adult' anology is helpful either TBH. I might not agree with my work colleague for example but I wouldn't shut her in her room and hold the door shut either would I? Sometimes I honestly think that form of discipline, if repeated, is even more harmful.

saggars you said it...people that are completely anti smacking often use the anology, would you smack another adult if...but indeed you could say that about any otehr puniching method. only then it mostly would really sound like a ridiculous thing to do....Boss, you were naughty go on that naughty spe and sit there for 1 minute of year of age...hm...can not see that one neither....point is.....no matter what punishment you use could be potentially traumatic...but then what do we do if we could not use any form of dsicipine....I know there is this thing about positive re enforcement and I am sure it's a fabulous thing, and would be perfect for that perfect world...but, as far as I know I live in the real world.

You're really on a roll tonight, 'Dabbles'.

listen people Dabbles has pronounced, "it is NOT OKAY". Can't believe some of you are actually discussing it. She/he wasn't inviting dicussion.

I presume this will the the first a several thread threads...

The World according to... Dabbles.

Hmmm. I quite like the idea of shutting certain colleagues in a room and not letting them out...

Saggarmakersbottomknocker, you are named after a Tweenies song. Have you heard it?

lol sober...you have a point there...for me it would be 37 minutes...just along to get all calm comfy and probably fall asleep and snore

I was smacked, a lot when I was little by a stressed single mum who had no support and no clue. These weren't just little smacks, they were sometimes out of control 'hidings'. My mum also shouted, in fact screamed sometimes. Whilst I have been left with hang ups about the smacking, most of my issues with my childhood have been around my mums behaviour itself and her manpulative emotional blackmail!! Now all that said I love my mum dearly and on becoming a parent a lot kind of slotted into place. I have no problem in admitting that I have both shouted at my son and smacked him. Smacking is not something I do regularly nor would I want it to be a regular thing and certainly not to be something I do when out of control. I will not be told that it is not something I can do or that I'm barbaric for doing it. My son is boisterous and smacked people long before I ever did it to him - something he learnt at nursery from his peers and people are naive if they think they only learn from their parents. Secondly, someone explain to me how todays generations have benefitted from a more liberal approach to discipline or rather the total lack of it??

Dabbles got deleted!!

having read only the OP

it is none of your business how people chose to chastise their children. as long as they are acting within the legal peramiters of physical discipline then it is still tehir choice to do so.

you may not feel it is the path you would like to travel and you may have strong negative feelings towards this as a method of discipline but you have no right at all to call those who choose to use a rational form of tried and tested punishment "disgusting"

and no i do not smack...i just don't judge those who do either

considers coming on the thread to say something inflammatory, just to sidetrack the debate started so reasonably

Oh, look at that, no need.

sobernow.. dp sends me to time out step when i am norty .. ds thinks is hilarious and joins me. (all in fun, honest )