Alone at Xmas, what would you do?

[middlemuddle]

ExH and I have 3 DCs and separated last summer. I am a care leaver so have no family at Christmas to go to, and I don't like to go to friend's houses as I feel like I'm intruding (I've done all that in the past). Last Xmas I said to exH that I'd like to have them in the morning & he could have them in the afternoon because I didn't want to spend a lot of time alone. He lives with his parents and they have a lot of family over on Christmas Day. In the end I think he only had them 3hrs max, but that was his choice- I didn't stipulate any timings.

I know it's his turn to have the DCs on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day morning but I feel heartbroken at the thought of waking up alone without them. I'm withdrawing from anti-depressants atm so I'm feeling my emotions again, and this is making me feel quite upset. Would I BU to suggest same arrangements as last year? Is it being selfish?

That does sound tough.

At least when they come back you have them for the rest of the day.

Whilst I do get the wanting to get up with them, it must also be difficult doing that & then they go away for a few hours.

Do you like to get all of your wrapping done in advance or could you save some of that to do whilst waiting for them?

Those are nice suggestions, thank you for being kind. Being dismissive of feelings just because you don't understand them isn't really helpful and won't change how I actually feel about it- it just hurts a bit that someone could be so rude.

Birthdays, Christmas, Mothers Day, Fathers day...care leavers struggle with all of these events. I say that as part of a collective, not as someone looking for sympathy- just that we are very much forgotten people.