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AIBU?

Poppies and FB

175 replies

Iamnotagoddess · 08/11/2019 21:22

Ok this is a really petty gripe - I think.

Firstly it must be said (so as not to drop feed) we are a military family, DH is in the forces.

It really really pisses me off come 1st Nov people on FB who put this bloody ring of Poppies around their profile picture on FB. Them in a bikini with a Poppy etc etc.

Do these people actually buy a Poppy and donate or is this it?

Sheep virtue signalling?

To me it’s crass and shallow and I don’t know a bit inappropriate, duck face with Poppies around it.

I always buy a Poppy broach relevant to my husbands service and I wear it most of the year.

I may be being unreasonable.

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Youngatheart00 · 08/11/2019 21:24

YANBU. I agree.

To make it ‘all about them’ is the exact opposite of what I believe the poppy appeal stands for.

I donate a few quid and pin a conventional poppy (Usually from a stand at the supermarket) to my coat each year, and also respect the Remembrance Sunday silence, when possible.

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Raphael34 · 08/11/2019 21:27

Why do you care? If you don’t like people’s Facebook pages then click unfriend. I don’t think it’s a bad thing making a statement about it on fb

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Raphael34 · 08/11/2019 21:28

Should people not wear their poppies then as it’s making it about them

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WorraLiberty · 08/11/2019 21:30

Do these people actually buy a Poppy and donate or is this it?

Well you'd have to ask them that, wouldn't you? Confused

I would imagine the majority do, because why wouldn't they?

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ComtesseDeSpair · 08/11/2019 21:31

I expect some of them do donate and some of them don’t. But whatever their motives they’re showing support and probably also reminding an awful lot of other people to buy a poppy. And I can’t get too worked up about something which is likely to prompt a few younger people to look up what it’s all about.

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WorraLiberty · 08/11/2019 21:32

And how is you wearing a poppy brooch for most of the year, not virtue signalling?

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Iamnotagoddess · 08/11/2019 21:32

I just wonder if these people partake, do they take the minute me silence to think about what was given so they can have what they have.

Do they donate time or money.

Or is it indeed all about them.

Wearing a Poppy is showing absolute respect and remembering.

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Minionbums · 08/11/2019 21:33

I don’t know about this.... I think, for me, the poppy is about remembrance, not purely a money making exercise. So if posting something on FB keeps those who have their lives in people’s minds, it’s not a bad thing.

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Talkwhilstyouwalk · 08/11/2019 21:33

I agree OP. It trivialises the importance of the symbol.

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LolaSmiles · 08/11/2019 21:34

It's the new activism virtue signalling nonsense.

Previously people would get their poppy and wear it if they want or abstain and that was that.

Now some people feel the need to add poppies to their profile photo, add a flag filter to show they care about the latest terrorist atrocity, have a video of them soaking themselves for another charity. Almost none of it is about philanthropy or caring and it's mainly about looking like they care.
For me it's just like people who think hitting share on a video or image equals activism and showcases their woke credentials, the share topic of choice will ebb and flow with no meaningful engagement with any of the issues.

Then again, I know I'm a bit of a grump about some social media things.

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Iamnotagoddess · 08/11/2019 21:36

@LolaSmiles.

You put it so much more eloquently than I did, thank you 🙏

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Iamnotagoddess · 08/11/2019 21:42

I think it pisses me off because it’s so flippant.

I belong to a group of service partners and there are nearly 3000 members. Barely anyone does this.

We haven’t lost our partners but we live this every day of our lives.

Our partners miss births, cancel weddings, miss funerals, miss birthdays, Christmas, they sometimes actually die.

And a lot of the time put up with innane remarks about our lives with no actual understanding of the sacrifices people are making and made.

I think this is why it pisses me off.

But yes people are right there is no harm if it means people actually go and buy a Poppy.

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Aragog · 08/11/2019 21:45

I always buy a poppy pin and donate on top. So do so and dd. We always wear them around this time.
On the day I normally change my profile picture to that of a poppy. I remember why we have Remembrance Day and I think of those who gave their lives, including members of my own family.

I'd imagine many people who have a poppy picture or frame on social media at this time do also buy or donate. Certainly from my experience anyway. I know some people aren't necessarily buying the paper poppies with the plastic stems, but most people I know have reusable ones but still donate each year.

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WorraLiberty · 08/11/2019 21:49

I just wonder if these people partake, do they take the minute me silence to think about what was given so they can have what they have.

Do they donate time or money.

Or is it indeed all about them.

Wearing a Poppy is showing absolute respect and remembering.

You'd have to ask them that. No-one here can answer your questions. However, I find it strange that you seem to assume these people don't buy a poppy in RL too.

Do you ask people wearing 'last year's' poppy brooch if they've also donated this year?

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theboxfamilytree · 08/11/2019 21:52

We only know what's going on in our own mind.

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Samcro · 08/11/2019 21:52

I always change my cover photo.
I buy a poppy
I don't wear it as i always knock it off.
But i donate

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Iamnotagoddess · 08/11/2019 21:54

I don’t go round inspecting people’s Poppies or question people directly.

Hence musing/venting on an anonymous Internet forum.

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WorraLiberty · 08/11/2019 21:56

Yes but why are you hung up on social media and 'duck face poses' and 'bikini' pics etc?

I can't see any difference between wearing a poppy brooch, a paper poppy or putting a poppy on a profile pic, as long as the person has donated.

There is no difference. It's just a different way of 'wearing' it.

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LizzieVereker · 08/11/2019 21:58

I agree with you OP, I think it’s trite, and that social a is not a suitable medium for expressing solemn remembrance.

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Iamnotagoddess · 08/11/2019 22:01

@WorraLiberty.

Because Facebook is not the place for solemn remembrance.

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WorraLiberty · 08/11/2019 22:01

Why though Lizzie?

There are over 3 billion social media worldwide.

If people wear a poppy in RL to show respect, why not show it on SM too?

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MrsJoshNavidi · 08/11/2019 22:02

Poppies have become a fashion statement as much as anything lately.

DH is ex forces - saw active service in a few places - and he won't wear a poppy, though he always donates.

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WorraLiberty · 08/11/2019 22:02

Social media *users

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theboxfamilytree · 08/11/2019 22:02

I thought part of the sacrifice being remembered was to give people the freedom to make these choices.

It's hypocritical to simultaneously say you want them to respect and remember it but also say they're not allowed to choose how to do so or indeed whether to do so.

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WorraLiberty · 08/11/2019 22:02

Because Facebook is not the place for solemn remembrance.

Why?

Who decides? Confused

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