Poppies and FB

[Iamnotagoddess]

Ok this is a really petty gripe - I think.

Firstly it must be said (so as not to drop feed) we are a military family, DH is in the forces.

It really really pisses me off come 1st Nov people on FB who put this bloody ring of Poppies around their profile picture on FB. Them in a bikini with a Poppy etc etc.

Do these people actually buy a Poppy and donate or is this it?

Sheep virtue signalling?

To me it’s crass and shallow and I don’t know a bit inappropriate, duck face with Poppies around it.

I always buy a Poppy broach relevant to my husbands service and I wear it most of the year.

I may be being unreasonable.

[Cauliflowerhead]

Oh get lost. We are from a family of paras. Honestly I have more to worry about the poppies on a facebook heading or profile. It’s not a career I’d choose for my family although my mil relishes it because it makes her feel important but me it just makes me shit scared.

Facebook posts do not worry me at all.

[heartsonacake]

YABVU. Those changing their profile pictures is the same as you wearing a poppy; you’re all showing your remembrance.

You’re also being a hypocrite. Those in the wars died so we could make our own choices, yet here you are judging others for not making the “right” choice in your eyes.

[WhiskeyLullaby]

Well the "cause" needs exposure and money which is incompatible with" only for the respectful and worthy", especially when it's everywhere at this time of year, some work places make remembrance mandatory.

There's nothing respectful about rubbers,pencil,rulers,bracelets and slap bands with poppies on them.
There's nothing respectful about paper poppies with the pin being lost, stepped on, fought over,dropped down the toilet etc. I'm talking mostly about children.
There's nothing respectful about poppy comparison. Knitted over metal, pin over paper etc.

They need the exposure and the money and who can blame them? It is a worthy cause ,but respectful and worthy doesn't pay .

[HoldMyLobster]

Every year I'm astounded by the extent to which British people argue about poppies.

[ExServicewoman]

There is no right or wrong way to wear a poppy.

I personally like to see Poppy Profiles on Facebook.

It's an act of Remembrance, they are remembering. Whether they donate or not is neither here nor there, they are remembering. Wether they are in their bikini or not they are remembering.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

[Tellmetruth4]

I’m not wearing one this year for the following reasons.

1. Because of threads like this. Even if you wear one, someone will say you’re doing it wrong.
   

1. I’m sick of the nationalism and jingoism in this country in general and particularly around war.
   

1. I find an increasing number of poppy wearers also act like fascists in their pursuit of anyone not wearing one. The soldiers in those wars were fighting for freedom and that includes the right not to wear one. I do remember but part of that is to be grateful they died so I could be free (to not wear a poppy for example) unlike many people in the world living under dictatorships.

[Pinkblueberry]

Have you read any of my posts on this thread, I an married to someone in the services, I live this live. I never knew my grandfather because he was killed in the war.

This is exactly what I mean - the poster was talking about other people, not you OP. But of course, like I said, you’re of course the only one with a spouse in the forces or a grandparent who lost their life in WW2 and are therefore the expert in how to comemorate and show respect. As someone with a father who has only just left the forces as well as DH (and therefore have ‘lived the life’ as you say, all my life - so I suppose significantly longer than you) I will use my expertise to say you’re attitude is ridiculous and you need to quite frankly get over yourself.

[Iamnotagoddess]

@LizzieVereker.

I agree.

I don’t have a “glittery” Poppy.

I also have said I respect the fact that others don’t agree with me.

I respect the fact that some people choose not to wear a Poppy.

[Iamnotagoddess]

It’s the triteness.

When I get sent the breast cancer PMs “post this on your status” I always ignore them, I always ignore the “I bet no one will post this on their status” posts.

For me it trivialises things, and you aren’t actually “doing” anything.

[PicaK]

I'm genuinely baffled at people's outrage. Everyone knows why you wear a poppy - in remembrance. And the RBL - who sell them - says it doesn't matter how you wear it so long as you do so with pride.
So whether it's a traditional paper poppy, or a snap band, a knitted one, a pin, one with sequins, a key ring, or on your social media, they all represent the same act of remembrance surely?

[WorraLiberty]

You're still assuming that people who put poppies on their profile pics aren't "doing" anything though. Why is that?

I always buy a Poppy broach relevant to my husbands service and I wear it most of the year.

How do you know they're not also sporting a nice shiny/glittery brooch on their lapels for all to see?

The fact is you don't and that's the point.

[Iamnotagoddess]

You're still assuming that people who put poppies on their profile pics aren't "doing" anything though. Why is that

Because they are normally the same band of people who share the breast cancer stuff, the autism “I bet no one else will share this” the first to “RIP” when someone dies etc etc.

I am not saying I have a monopoly, or more rights than anyone else and I apologise if that’s how it comes across.

I am just expressing my own personal feelings about it, and it doesn’t really “matter”.

There are much more important things going on.

[orangeteal]

We're a military family too, so lots of military on Fb, it makes me cringe this time of year, ex soldiers who served for 4 years 10+ years ago posting a photo "so proud to have served my country" or family members posting whatever photo they have with someone in uniform. It reminds me of birthday posts "happy birthday to my bestie" (I am going to celebrate this by posting a photo of ME looking awesome and make it all about meeeeee)

Cringe, completely misses the point of it all.

[WorraLiberty]

Because they are normally the same band of people who share the breast cancer stuff, the autism “I bet no one else will share this” the first to “RIP” when someone dies etc etc.

Then you have some very irritating friends and family and perhaps need to rethink your friend list.

Although again, you wouldn't know whether they donate to breast cancer charities etc, unless they choose to say so.

This thread made me revisit the RBL Facebook page last night and it was lovely to see so many profile pics/cover pics raising the profile of the poppy appeal. Many of those people are service men and women/ex service men and women.

[Iamnotagoddess]

@orangeteal

Yes. DH has a lot of military and ex military on his FB and it’s the ex who seem to do it more.

We aren’t supposed to put anything on our SM connecting us to the military.

[Iamnotagoddess]

@WorraLiberty.

There are lots of people IRL who are lovely but are annoying twats on SM.

[Boom45]

Sounds like it's your group of friends that are the problem tbf - I don't really see the constant stream of social media awareness raising from the same people in the way you describe. I have friends that use social media to raise awareness about causes close to their hearts (and support friends causes) but at most it a couple a year. Maybe just hide the people that annoy you rather than generalizing about everyone that displays a poppy on social media?

[Whatelsecouldibecalled]

Interestingly I’m a military wife and my family represent the full 3 military areas with 6 serving and 5 retired. I wear my poppy with pride. I talk
Avidly to my students about rememberance. I donate every year. I observe the minutes silence. I attend a remembrance service every year. I also change my Facebook pictures. However I do not have a ‘duck face’ does that make it ok???

[itputsthelotiononitsskin]

YABU

You have zero evidence, or even way of knowing whether these people are buying/wearing poppies IRL, or more importantly spending time "remembering" those that gave their lives for us.
You've made an assumption that because they haven't changed their usual "duckface" profile pic to one you deem as more appropriate that it means they don't care.

There are many thousands of people who's parents, grandparents or great grandparents fought in WWII, and even those who didn't know them personally are likely spending some time reflecting on what that means and what it was like. That can be deeply heartfelt, but totally hidden to the world.

Just because your husband is in service/has served doesn't mean you get to judge how others pay respect or even second guess whether they have.

Until I bought some poppy jewellery last year I would regularly be without a poppy despite buying several each year because I lost them or left them on my other coat.

Likewise I don't attend remembrance services. I lost my grandfather 2 years ago, he fought in WWII and this time of year is deeply personal for me in remembrance of all he went through & told me of it. My remembrance is private. Nobody has anyway of knowing, because it's for me alone, it's not on show.

You haven't even seen these people without a poppy. What you're doing is making a value judgement on them as a person from very little information, and applying it to something that is particularly meaningful to you.

If you feel that way about them, unfriend them or at least unfollow them so you don't have to think about it. But don't expect other people to support your unfounded value judgements and not expect to get flamed for it.

[Jiggeriepokerie]

Iamnotagoddess


We aren’t supposed to put anything on our SM connecting us to the military.

Is that 'we' just you and your husband or Forces personnel in general? If it's the latter you're out of date, wrong and need to be less dramatic.


www.army.mod.uk/umbraco/Surface/Download/Get/6617

[Iamnotagoddess]

He’s not in the army - he’s in the Submarine service and they are checked and told to take down anything with them in uniform (people do still have stuff on there though although DH told me to take our wedding photo off my profile picture because he was in uniform).

I also mentioned it on a public thread on FB once and was PM’d by an RN IT type person and told off.

[Iamnotagoddess]

So no, am not being “dramatic”

[Jiggeriepokerie]

Yet you still post a picture of a dead colleague every year .

[Iamnotagoddess]

He’s not a colleague of my husband.

He is a young person I worked with.

[LilyJade]

At this time of year I share photos of male & female combatants from mainly ww1 & Ww2 on my Facebook to remind people what Rememberance Day is about.

My FB friends seem to find the photos interesting & thought provoking.

I buy a poppy every year & wear it on my uniform at work but don't always bother to wear it on my normal clothes. I don't feel I need to as thanks to my late grandparents stories I often think about the war.

Some years I put a poppy frame on my profile picture & why not??

It's the modern way of showing you care about an issue.