Poppies and FB

[Iamnotagoddess]

Ok this is a really petty gripe - I think.

Firstly it must be said (so as not to drop feed) we are a military family, DH is in the forces.

It really really pisses me off come 1st Nov people on FB who put this bloody ring of Poppies around their profile picture on FB. Them in a bikini with a Poppy etc etc.

Do these people actually buy a Poppy and donate or is this it?

Sheep virtue signalling?

To me it’s crass and shallow and I don’t know a bit inappropriate, duck face with Poppies around it.

I always buy a Poppy broach relevant to my husbands service and I wear it most of the year.

I may be being unreasonable.

[nevernotstruggling]

@itputsthelotiononitsskin I don't think wearing a poppy is a virtue signal. Virtue signal is usually within a social media platform

[etimram]

I actually thinknits piss poor you have started such a goady thread in the run up to remembrance.

It's insensitive and in poor taste.

As someone married to the military you should be ashamed and embarrassed.

[itputsthelotiononitsskin]

@nevernotstruggling

Virtue signalling as a pejorative term has become popular with the rise of social media, but to suggest that it only happens on social media only belies your value judgement of social media.

SM is merely a form of communication, the things we wish to "signal" about ourselves are done through many methods of communication. What reason is there for saying an attitude or expression done via social media inherently has less value than spoken, written down, or put into expressive dance?

Why is a poop on a screen worth less than a paper poppy?

[itputsthelotiononitsskin]

Poppy! Poppy not poop!

[itputsthelotiononitsskin]

@Iamnotagoddess If it really is not that important then hold your hands up and say "OK IABU, thanks for helping me see that".

Seeing as how you're really not that invested in it, shouldn't be that difficult. And once you've said that, people really have nothing left to comment on.

[Doodoobear]

I post a picture of my horse with a poppy in his bridle and with a frame every year for November, the pic is from a horse show some years ago that we attended and the proceeds went to the poppy appeal. I also have a bag that has the metal pins from each year, going back a few, and other pins such as my BHS pin, cancer research, daffodil etc. I have this years on my work coat and it'll get put on the bag next time it's washed after November. I bought DD a wrist band. I don't take a paper poppy because I tend to knock and lose them, but I do donate when there's a box in a shop or out with the cadets etc.
My grandparents were involved in WW2, both at home, my GM making spitfires and GF test firing and fixing guns on planes. They both survived, but they made sure we knew about those who didn't, and the sacrifices made, it's given me a lifelong respect.

DDs father is ex army, and saw active service, and for all he has been a complete twat at times over the years, he knows I respect him for what he did. I also have a few friends that are ex services, some at work (a lot of the chef's I've worked with are ex services, strangely!) And I deeply respect them too.

I thought it was all about remembering and honouring, and that's what I try to do. My FB profile is just one of the small things I do.
I do understand that you might feel that putting a frame of poppies and doing nothing else is virtue signalling and is easy, and not really helpful, but for many it's a mark of respect, we use social media so much these days that it's natural that it should migrate onto there too, and I think it should. If just one person asks what it's about, and listens to the answer, then it's served a purpose.

[nevernotstruggling]

@itputsthelotiononitsskin because one pays for the poppy

[itputsthelotiononitsskin]

@nevernotstruggling
How do you know someone with a Poppy border hasn't given money?

How do you know someone with a Poppy isn't just using one from last year?

[littlehappyhippo]

@Iamnotagoddess

I think people are getting a little over-invested in my pondering.

LOL. Bit full of your own self-importance there!

@Pinkblueberry

People are over-invested in your pondering???' Don’t flatter yourself OP. You asked a question, people are giving you their opinions - kind of the point of this forum It's hardly being over-invested. No need to pretend now you were only ‘pondering’ when you have had some quite strong and arrogant opinions throughout this thread.

Also no need to try and belittle others’ opinions by making them out to be ‘over-invested’ as though you meant this as a lighthearted post. Although from an arrogant and self-important poster like yourself, I suppose it’s hardly a surprising response.

Well said. Couldn't have put it better myself!

[firstimemamma]

This is why I'm not on face book (and obviously loads of other reasons!)

[PhilSwagielka]

I just buy one, I see no need in putting poppies in my Facebook profile. It absolutely is virtue signalling and there's no need for it. Remembrance should be quiet and dignified, not a competition.

[bananasandwicheseveryday]

I am one of those who buys the poppy jewellery from RBL. I choose a new piece every year and enjoy wearing it. I wear it to honour those members of my family who fought in the world wars. It wasn't only those who died who made sacrifices - the mental health of so many people suffered and at a time when to have mental health issues, often meant you were regarded as a coward (and maybe shot for it) or as somehow lacking in fortitude. I also hope that if the young member of my family who is currently on deployment ever needs it, the RBL will be there for them.
I don't like the fashion for facebook frames and don't use them myself. But for some many people, this is how they show their support for various causes and in that respect I don't regard them as much different to wearing a poppy. They may have given cash to poppy seller, they may not. But I bet that using those frames keeps the respect going and might even prompt some of their fb friends to contribute.

[WorraLiberty]

I just buy one, I see no need in putting poppies in my Facebook profile. It absolutely is virtue signalling and there's no need for it. Remembrance should be quiet and dignified, not a competition.

And when you buy the poppy, do you not wear it?

How is wearing a poppy not virtue signalling but adding one to your profile pic (as encouraged by the RBL) is?

[itputsthelotiononitsskin]

I am laughing at the mental gymnastics of some to think that clicking a button on Facebook is "Virtue Signalling" but that pinning a poppy to your chest, putting one on your dogs collar, dressing up in your best clothes & attending a memorial service or a giant art display of poppies cascading down the side of a castle, isn't.

It's all "virtue signalling", and virtue signalling shouldn't be a dirty phrase.

Showing others that we care and think about others, why on Earth is that a negative thing? That's what the symbol of the poppy is all about!

Your judgement that doing so on Facebook is somehow less meaningful or less valuable than in any other guise is symptomatic of your distaste for Facebook generally. You have no way of knowing what is in people's hearts or what they do in their own life (ie if they donate or buy a poppy).

So why not be kind and assume they do?

Ironically the only people making it a competition are those justifying that their means of celebrating remembrance are more meaningful than someone else's.

[Iamnotagoddess]

Maybe IABU and others are right and it doesn’t matter, as long as you remember 🤷‍♀️

This stuff is what matters and it won’t be long before they are all gone

www.facebook.com/103307331060040/posts/147111696679603?vh=e&d=n&sfns=mo

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I agree with Worra's post on the thread.

OP, perhaps stop trying to take ownership so much. Most people have military families in their ancestry. The wars past and current make that a necessity and you don't know other people's circumstances.

You don't actually know what people do or why, you see a little snapshot on FB and make snap judgements about it. What's the point of that? Stop being so judgemental and prescriptive about what other people can or can't do because you're not the arbiter of Remembrance.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

POSTS... I agree with Worra's posts!

[Sirzy]

But it’s exactly because their won’t be any Veterans from the World Wars soon that it’s important their stories continue to be discussed and shared. If using social media helps that to happen then I see that as a bonus.

I have been at a parade today with 4 veterans of various conflicts. All of them have also posted in various ways, including the frames, on social media

[Tutlefru]

Don’t see the outrage personally. There’s frames for everything on Facebook from Remembrance Day to Childhood Cancer.

To wonder if anyone who uses a profile picture frame observes the two minute silence is rubbish. What makes you think they don’t?

[WorraLiberty]

But it’s exactly because their won’t be any Veterans from the World Wars soon that it’s important their stories continue to be discussed and shared. If using social media helps that to happen then I see that as a bonus.

This ^^ exactly.

It's so blindingly obvious that with over 3 billion users, the internet is the handiest tool in the world when it comes to keeping the awareness alive.

[itputsthelotiononitsskin]

Well said @Iamnotagoddess

[ferrier]

Wearing a poppy and putting a poppy border on your FB profile are either both virtue signalling, or they are both* showing respect for and raising awareness of those who have fought and who fight for our freedoms.
Some people do one or the other. Some do both.

[MulticolourMophead]

I buy a poppy and also use a frame on FB. I do this to remember those who died, or who were injured, and those bereaved. I spent years working in the MOD, and I knew someone who was killed on duty, and several who were injured. There;s no virtue signalling in my actions, it's just simple respect.

[Polyethyl]

What depresses me is that 60 Beavers, Cubs and Scouts turned up for Bonfire and Sparklers on Wednesday, but only 9 showed up this morning.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

That is a crying shame, Polyethyl and I think that actual attendance will decline as the years go by. I hope that donations will continue but I expect they'll be online with more emphasis on SM 'remembrance'.

It's a shame because Remembrance Day has always been poignant and emotional for many.