To expect an apology

[Moremilkplease]

My child was in the care of a family member whilst I was away and there was an incident in which his face got scratched badly by accident. It was a deep scratch that bled a lot at the time and has taken days to heal. AIBU to expect an apology from the person that did it just because I think it's the decent thing to do? I know it was an accident but if I accidentally hurt someone elses child in my care I would call the person and say sorry this is what happened and it was an accident. Instead I've had silence from the person and had to hear what happened from someone else. I'm hurt that they havent had the decency to say anything to me.
So AIBU to be upset and would you apologise if you accidentally hurt someone elses child?

Yes, I would probably expect an acknowledgment. How long did they look after your son? Did you buy a gift, thank them in person, offer to reciprocate? There seems to be something off here.

I think you're looking for reasons to be upset. You've had an explanation from the person who was meant to be watching your child. I'd expect your mum to have said a quick sorry and that to be the end of it.

I will not ask for or demand an apology I just wanted others thoughts on it because my judgement is clouded by my poor relationship with my sister

Can’t be that poor if she’s looking after your son for days at a time!

I would expect them to say ‘sorry about the scratch’ and explain what happened, I think it’s just basic common decency. I would expect a melodramatic written apology or anything, it is just a scratch after all.

@churchandstate they weren't in charge of my child my mum was. They were just at the gathering so no gift or card for them required.

Oh no, I see; your mum had him, not your sister. But in that case he wasn’t in your sister’s care, or your BIL’s?

I would expect him to have said sorry x uncle didn't mean to hurt you I was stopping you falling on baby. End of story.

So actually he got hurt - quite by accident - in your mum’s care?

I'm just hurt that she hasn't contacted me at all but obviously I'm in the minority

YANBU. I think 'silence from the person' and hearing about it from someone else is really out of order.

Saying that, I don't think I'd need an apology per se for an accident; but certainly, as you suggest, an acknowledgement from the actual person and an enquiry about how he is.

Have you gone out your way to acknowledge, or apologise, for your child’s behaviour? Your child came off worst but could have been different.

Your sister might be seething that your child was misbehaving and nearly injured her baby and waiting for an acknowledgement of that..!

It’s all very one sided from you. Nobody needs apologise.

How big is “the scratch”? Is it a gash (like 3” or so?) or a finger nail sized wound?

Have you apologised for your child running around?

Has your mum apologised for the child being hurt whilst in her care?

Or are both completely unwarranted because children mess about sometimes, accidents happen, and no real harm done?

Yes an acknowledgement and how is his face would have been the nice thing to do I think.

I’m going to have to change my mind here. Your DSis didn’t do anything. She doesn’t owe any apology. Your BIL probably apologised to your child and your mum at the time.

I really wouldn’t trust these people to care for my child anymore. YANBU OP.

Ok I'll accept IABU. Thanks all

Well done, OP!

Why on earth wouldn't you trust them to care for your child? Accidents happen. If the child hadn't been racing around he wouldn't have had to be stiooed as he was falling into the baby.

I don’t think anyone owes you an apology because you weren’t hurt. I’m sure your BIL apologised at the time to your ds. It’s a scratch not a broken limb so I wouldn’t expect anyone to still be talking about it days later.
Honestly I do think your reaction is being clouded by your relationship. Your son caused the incident, he’s 5 and it happens, but if anything it should have been you contacting your sister to tell her you’ve had a word with him and it won’t happen again.

Stopped

Think of it like if your child got hurt at school (which happens all the time with kids running into each other). You wouldn't expect the teaching staff to apologise or keep asking after them for a scratch. You would expect a medical note and for someone to tell you what happened. That's it.

Sorry cross post OP. I’m not meaning to pile in, just a slow typer!

Yeah my judgement is probably clouded as I cant stand her partner.