... to want to scream- husband thinks my hobby is “deeply unattractive”

[DimensionalShambler]

It’s cold and rainy and all day I was looking forward to starting a new knitting project. After dinner I settled down with my wool and needles and and my husband started with the sighing. After the usual rigmarole I dragged it out of him… seeing me knit is “deeply unattractive”, it’s for sexless, boring, tedious women and he hates seeing my projects laying around because it’s a “stringy depressing mess” and I should find something more interesting to do with my time.

I’m absolutely furious at the sexism and stupidity but also really sad because I love knitting- it’s cozy and peaceful and meditative. But now it’s ruined.

As if being sexually attractive even comes into hobbies. My hobbies are lying in bed swilling wine and Mumsnetting while listening to The Archers, farting, rolling over and going to sleep. He should consider himself lucky.

It took me 35 years to identify with feminism & it’s stuff like this that gets me now! You’re enjoying your hobby, not like trying to look sexually appealing.

He no doubt associates knitting with old ladies or something & his brain can’t comprehend why you are projecting an image of an old lady.

retro hobbies like knitting / crocheting have had a recent resurgence & many people enjoy this. There is a hipster café in Sydney where you can sit with your coffee & knit all day with your mates in peace. If we have it, London definitely does so the craze must be real over there too

I would be concerned how he would view me in old age, am I now useless because am now an old lady who is not seen as a sexual being anymore ?

I would start telling him how unsexy & gross he is every time he has to do poo. If the bathroom smells after start retching & let him know no hanky panky tonight after such a gross & offputting act

Knitting is hard! You have to be fairly intelligent to do it.

His hobby should be weightlifting and rubbing oil on his toned manly physique then?!

Rtft and dear god his hobbies. Bleugh. He sounds utterly joyless.

I can’t bear men who sigh, pout and say “nothing” when asked what’s wrong.

Like dealing with an emotionally incontinent teen but one who’s 30+.

Draining.

Sounds like he's jealous and bitter. Any other signs of this?

my husband said when I knit it reminds him of his mum.

I didn’t feel sexy then!!

He needs to get with the times - knitting seems to be really in at the moment.
I take DC to a sports club each week, and a little group of young trendy mums pass the time there knitting whilst waiting for their kids.

DD and FIL also knit, and neither are boring nor tedious nor women.

What a knob!

Are we allowed to do anything without worrying about how sexy we look? How about taking a shit? Or does he have views on that too?

You’ve married a misogynist I’m afraid.

So what exactly is a sexy hobby?

Wanker.

I'd sit and knit with my tits out and say I was trying to be sexy...then shove a needle in his ear

My Dad used to knit. He learned from another soldier in the army. I have a male friend that knits and he also embroiders and his work is exquisite. I love knitting. It makes me happy.
I think you need to look at the bigger picture here OP. He sounds awful.

Keep the hobby, ditch the husband. Seriously. He's told you how he feels about you, in as many words. He-s also revealed that his view of knitting is waaaaay behind the times.

For me a “deeply unattractive” hobby would be telling racist jokes or posting supportive comments on Jacob Rees-Mogg’s Twitter feed- certainly not a creative, relaxing one like knitting.

Wow. What a guy.

Any reason to stay with that?

Not supporting me in my hobby of knitting was on my list of unreasonable behaviour in my divorce from my ex

What’s a sexy hobby? Polishing your dildos?! I’ve never heard anything so stupid! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I knit my own socks, and I'm attractive as anything :-)

Here's a half finished one

What he's saying to you is that you owe him a sexy performance in the living room and that you don't have a right to sit there doing something for yourself that you enjoy and makes you feel good. He is telling you that your evenings should be about him, not you.

Keep the hobby, cast off the husband.

Agree with pp, definitely a bigger picture scenario here. Does he make little digs about other things? I bet this isn't the only way he's an arse.

I find your vinyl collecting husband deeply unattractive.
Tell him to watch this...

P_

FFS.

Tell him you find bare handed bear wrestling attractive and expect him to start immediately. Add that you are only telling him for his own good.

Or, perhaps point out that a hobbit is something you do to amuse YOU. Not something you do because it makes you look sexy and, quite frankly, it's about time the world stopped expecting everything a women does to 'attractive'.

@Dilkhush I once said to an engineering graduate that I thought knitting was a feminine type of engineering, creating so much from just variations on knit, purl, increase and decrease and the variables of tension, patterns, size, shaping and yarn thickness. The most mathematically terrifying person I ever knew, my great aunt who kept the books and was scarily fast with numbers, used to meld three complex aran patterns together to get what she wanted.

Lord Kitchener of Khartoum invented Kitchener stitch which is a way of grafting toes on socks that didn't leave a seam - very useful for solders doing a lot of marching.