... to want to scream- husband thinks my hobby is “deeply unattractive”

[DimensionalShambler]

It’s cold and rainy and all day I was looking forward to starting a new knitting project. After dinner I settled down with my wool and needles and and my husband started with the sighing. After the usual rigmarole I dragged it out of him… seeing me knit is “deeply unattractive”, it’s for sexless, boring, tedious women and he hates seeing my projects laying around because it’s a “stringy depressing mess” and I should find something more interesting to do with my time.

I’m absolutely furious at the sexism and stupidity but also really sad because I love knitting- it’s cozy and peaceful and meditative. But now it’s ruined.

Knit him a willy warmer or something else sex related.

Just keep knitting,it's a lovely hobby.. It's quite well known, that lots of men like knitting, I know three men at least who can knit sweaters etc.

Your DH is an arse. Has he suggested any more 'fitting' pursuits by any chance?

I'm sure my DH and I would disagree on which of our individual pursuits was most valuable & productive. As long as they aren't negatively impacting agreed priorities or stopping us being well rounded humans, I fail to see the issue.

Don't want to imply anything that isn't there, but it's a fairly stereotypical female hobby (these days) that he's denigrating: 'for tedious women'. Makes me wonder if he'd feel similarly about other stereotypically 'female' hobbies.

My Dad was a bit of a alpha male and in the army for ever. But he knitted, did embroidery and sewed his own buttons back on his clothes.
He taught me to knit as well, I am a bit rubbish but he tried.
Keep it up and enjoy x

If this were a milly Johnston novel you'd be bumping into a moody but handsome gardener with a heart of gold in a tea shop in a chapter or two

Knit him one of these and say that's the nearest he's getting to yours

Knit yourself a jumper with 'Fuck' in capitals on the front and 'Off' on the back. Pop it on just before you stand up and then turn round to go upstairs to the lovely spare room.
You could add 'with your unkind sexist twattery' in some multi coloured loopy stitchery if you want to get fancy.

What an arse, knitting is great. I know people of all ages, genders and personalities who sew, knit and crochet. I can knit (badly) and one of my friends has asked me to make him a scarf.

I bet he wouldn’t if you knitted in your underwear.

Unkind is extremely unattractive. All round he sounds like a twat, but I think in respect to your marriage you should give it a week of trying new hobbies, maybe one a night to see if something clicks? 1. Death metal on loud. 2. Shredding his socks and underwear , you saw online it was therapeutic. 3. Nature sculptures. Step 1-gather nature. Abandon around house. Prob all you can fit in in one evening. 4. Teen movies-maybe pitch perfect to start? I’m sure others can help- i havent thought of anything smelly.

It is not unusual for men to have unreasonable expectations of women such as yours thinking you should be spending all your time being attractive to the male gaze.
Most are smart enough not to say it out loud.

I don't understand how it's ruined, he doesn't need to approve of your hobbies for you to find enjoyment in them.

If he didn't like your favourite eyeliner or your favourite snack to have, would you then believe neither were future options?

Ignore him and continue enjoying your hobbie!

Surely hobbies are mainly about entertaining oneself, not other people.

Knitting is basically programming in wool.
He's probably intimidated by all the maths. Knitting uses exactly the same logic structures as coding - loops, arrays, and so on.

Carry on with the knitting. It'll be much more satisfying.

You're too smart and talented to be making socks, eh? Well, not to be rude, but his hobbies don't seem to require huge amounts of intelligence or talent. Far less so than making something useful with your own two hands!

I'd have to tell him that if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to watch, and that (surprisingly enough) you're not knitting in hopes of arousing him, much as the sight of him fully absorbed in a war documentary doesn't exactly send you into a frenzy of passion.

He's being a jerk, and I'd tell him so. How would he feel if you tried to take the joy out of his deeply dull interests?

He is lucky you haven't stabbed him with your needles.
Knitting is awesome. I remember watching my mum produce the most beautiful things when I was young but I never mastered more than the basics myself. Don't let him put you off.

When he wasn't complaining that I wasted my time drawing and painting he would complain I always had my nose in a book. When I realized he expected me to be available to him at all times in case he wanted my attention he became my ex.

Creepster has it, I think.

I know that people criticise Mumsnet for being too quick to say LTB, but I really do think sometimes that something apparently trivial shows the measure of a situation.

The idea of the supposed love of your life being such a basic shithead is really alarming.

I love the sound of someone knitting, it reminds me of my dear nan who was always knitting.

When I stayed at hers, I'd wake in the morning, to find whatever doll or teddy I'd taken with me, had a whole new outfit!

She did show me how to knit, but I can only do stocking stitch by heart, and purl if I refresh my memory by looking it up. I also find that my tension gets tighter and tighter, and I tend to either drop, or add random stitches. So, now I crochet instead.

I do miss the click-clack sound though.

Oh yeah, and your husband's a dick. Loads of men knit. I like Kaffe Fassett's designs.

From back in the 70's, I remember Rosey (Roosevelt) Grier --
6'5" hulking NFL (American) football player.
Definitely NOT a sexless, boring, tedious woman!

Jeez, tell him you'd find it easier to drop a twat than a stitch..

Keep on clacking...

Do you have any knitting friends? Can you install them all in your house tomorrow night for a knit-off.
Really piss the sexist fucker off

What a great idea! Do it, OP.

And tell him he's out of touch. Knitting is really cool now.

Sounds like someone has mummy ishoos...

Some great suggestions above but very importantly don't let him put you off, I honestly believe nobody should ever be allowed turn anyone off hobbies that are healthy for you (adding the healthy bit to cover hobbies out there that are dodgy for mh etc)

It is very concerning that he doesn't find attractive that which brings you pleasure. I am glad you are fighting mad and that youre ready to stick to your guns on this one.

im in the 'knit him a hat that says TWAT on it' camp...

But knit it in stockinette but with the letters in the same colour just the reverse stitch so it only shows up when you look at it in the right light..

Chances are he will not notice but anyone seeing him wear it WILL :D

Or this clever illusion method... www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/fuck-trump-scarf