... to want to scream- husband thinks my hobby is “deeply unattractive”

[DimensionalShambler]

It’s cold and rainy and all day I was looking forward to starting a new knitting project. After dinner I settled down with my wool and needles and and my husband started with the sighing. After the usual rigmarole I dragged it out of him… seeing me knit is “deeply unattractive”, it’s for sexless, boring, tedious women and he hates seeing my projects laying around because it’s a “stringy depressing mess” and I should find something more interesting to do with my time.

I’m absolutely furious at the sexism and stupidity but also really sad because I love knitting- it’s cozy and peaceful and meditative. But now it’s ruined.

but the reaction in the playground was as though he had split the atom all by himself - just because he was a man doing stuff like that

God yes, so bloody annoying. My dm and various women I know react like that if I ever mention something dh has cooked. He is indeed a very good cook. But if I said I'd cooked the very same things, they wouldn't say "Oh you're sooo good, he's sooo lucky to have a wife who cook like that!"

He's a twat. Maybe he could buy you a cool knitting bag if he doesn't like seeing it. Or he could just fuck off.

I'd be needledby that too... another vote for a 'special' slogan jumper for him - twat

Also, I meant to say, if the OP's husband followed any of the Instagram knitting accounts I follow, he'd be eating his words about knitting not being sexy. They are full of gorgeous boho chic young women lounging in their uber stylish homes with artfully-placed balls of expensive yarn, or flâning about in posh cafés in their beautiful knitwear. Not a granny in sight.

So he's horrible, offensive and utterly wrong. Knit him a new personality, OP.

Oh god yes, the "you're so lucky" infuriates me - how low do some people set the bar - but always just for men?! DH was a SAHD (admittedly when it was more unusual than it is these days) and people acted like he was some sort of pet I kept who did tricks and we should all admire him

Did we ever get to the bottom of what the DH thinks is a 'sexy' hobby? People are fascinating. Maybe it's horses and he thinks she should be wearing tight jodhs and taking stallions over jumps. Maybe he's a Jilly Cooper type.

@DimensionalShambler I'll be furious with you if you really think knitting is "ruined" because of this stupid remark though. Don't let him "ruin" anything.

He sounds like a twat. Imagine only being allowed to have “attractive hobbies” whatever the hell they are

Watching depressing war documentaries = hot?
Knitting useful warm clothing = not hot?
He is being unreasonable, not everything you do has to be attractive.

OMG! What a twat! Knit him something nice like a gag

By the way,what would he regard as an 'acceptably sexy hobby'?

Hey OP I was just watching a period type drama on Netflix called Outlander tonight & there is a scene where the sexy Scottish men are knitting nets to catch fish & talking about how all men learn to knit as kids! Your husband is wrong, REAL MEN KNIT

It is set in the late 1700s & they were Scottish settlers in America - knitting goes way back for real blokes. This thread has been an eye opener!

Knitting is a very useful and time consuming ability, if anything he should admire you for your dedication.

Perhaps he is the 'deeply unattractive' one out of the pair of you, as he cannot give merit where merit is due. Knit him a hat that says 'I'm an arse', and put it under the tree. He can wear it on Christmas day.

Vote 1 penis warmer
Size - small

Whoever made the comment at 9.10 am about the fishermen’s jumper patters identifying the bodies, and designing him a pattern, that made me laugh out loud on the train!

I knit, and have done since I was c 4 years old. I can’t actually remember learning, i just ‘always’ could do it. I knitted a lot as a child - proper lacy complicated stuff. Went off the boil for a while but picked it up again after uni. I am sure that my ability to knit is linked to my general maths /science bent (I have a science PhD from a prestigious university... so knitting is not for the hard of thinking!) . And it’s brilliant for mental health.

Seriously though, I agree with a couple of others who have said that it’s a little worrying for your relationship. It reminds me of something: a couple of years ago a good friend told me that her DH had said he didn’t find her attractive (nothing to do with knitting... but then I don’t really think this is either) - they had 2 young kids and although she was as slender and gorgeous as ever (IMO) it was presented as somehow her fault that his desire for her had gone off the boil. My reaction was to ask whether he could be having an affair? She was adamant he wouldn’t be but guess what.... he was. I am not saying your DH is up to that, OP, but for whatever reason, he doesn’t feel things are right between you and he wants to hit out and make that your fault somehow. But it’s not. He’s a twat and if there’s something up he needs to get some insight (or have the balls to speak up about the real issues) and face his part in it. Not just to have spiteful digs at you.

This isn’t really about knitting. But anyway, knit on and enjoy it! Hope you are okay today x

Seacow I also wondered that.

Well maybe OP could bump him off to save the cost of a divorce? A quick burial at sea, but without an identifying jumper, obviously She could easily knit him a shroud, it would be quite a relaxing project for those long winter evenings....

I sometimes wonder if I'm a little harsh?

Christmas Seacow - I'm jealous! I wish I'd learnt as a child. I taught myself in my late thirties and although I'm ok at it now (late 40s), it's a sharp learning curve when I try anything new and more difficult. Maybe it's because I'm crap at maths.

I wish I was married to somebody who enjoys knitting socks! I love hand knitted socks (and jumpers, hats etc)....

Btw, his usual rigmarole sounds deeply unattractive as well.

Years ago, DH learnt to French braid hair as our DD's had really long hair and nits were rife in the school. DDs hair did look awesome, he did lots of different styles - but the reaction in the playground was as though he had split the atom all by himself - just because he was a man doing stuff like that .

Same here. DH works with horses so he can plait anything, fancy as you like. It's a very basic skill in his game. But guess what, whenever I have a plait and it comes out that he's done it, well, it's like he's performed brain surgery on an ant and the worst offenders are women. They seem to think that because he can plait, and is good with animals, he's the uber-mensch they've always craved.

My dh despairs every time more wool enters the hoe,he hates it. I think it's lovely and colourful and cheers up the place.

He does compliment me on the things I make, he says things li "wow! That's really clever", or "that's so pretty" or "you're really good!" (I'm not).

I'm sure your dh has some habits which are less than beautiful, and with luck he really enjoys some of them. Do make sure you tell him how unattractive those thigs, feel free to exaggerate hugely.

I'm 24 and I knit on the tube home from work...

@DimensionalShambler - I have just seen this on FB, and thought of this thread. Maybe you could make one for your dh...

@Igotthemheavyboobs I hear you!!

He sounds like a twat but there's a stark difference between this thread and threads about DPs whose hobby is gaming...