... to want to scream- husband thinks my hobby is “deeply unattractive”

[DimensionalShambler]

It’s cold and rainy and all day I was looking forward to starting a new knitting project. After dinner I settled down with my wool and needles and and my husband started with the sighing. After the usual rigmarole I dragged it out of him… seeing me knit is “deeply unattractive”, it’s for sexless, boring, tedious women and he hates seeing my projects laying around because it’s a “stringy depressing mess” and I should find something more interesting to do with my time.

I’m absolutely furious at the sexism and stupidity but also really sad because I love knitting- it’s cozy and peaceful and meditative. But now it’s ruined.

And another thing . I don't knit at all , but I defy anyone to look at the Woolly Hugs blankets made by MNers over the years , with all the love and care they embody , and not feel awed .

My Dad would have featured in some of his depressing war documentaries. We glimpsed him in one, filmed below deck doing some ironing! Being a sailor, my Dad would knit his own socks, too. Is your husband actually any use?

What a twit. Maybe you could knit yourself a divorce petition

So women should only do hobbies that are deemed attractive and sexy to men?

Stuff that for a laugh, I would knit him a mankini for him to wear and ask if that is sexy enough.

He's a horrible twat, OP. For goodness' sake do not let him make you feel that knitting is ruined for you. Knitting is fucking awesome. I'm loving all the knitting chat on your thread, even though that wasn't the purpose of it!

But this:
Last Christmas she knitted me a pair of socks with the first 20 lines of Beowulf knitted into them! I have NEVER seen anything like it.
I am in awe!

I'm currently making socks, pair after pair of them. They are my new favourite thing to knit.

I can understand why you are upset, it is a deeply unpleasant thing to say to someone.

I knit. I love knitting, DP treasures the socks I made him and he thinks anyone who can knit (or crochet) is brilliant, he is well impressed with my latest project; a Christmas jumper with a reindeer on it. I am doing it for the little one we are fostering at the moment to wear to playgroup because when I said we needed to buy a Christmas jumper for them they piped up "I know. You can make me one. In pink!" So I am.

I suppose he can knit socks on DPN can he?

Wow. Why does a hobby need to be sexy?! I'm currently crocheting BTW. I do lots of things with my time, I'm well educated and have a good job. But I like to relax with a but of TV or a podcast and craft. Your hoiby is great and normal. His views on it are not. He's shown his true misogynistic self. Sorry

He's weird, and a dickhead.

Any decent partner would be glad to see their partner doing something they enjoy, that relaxed them etc.

And not that it matters but for the record, the crocheting classes I attended a few times had everyone from 20 something (very crafty, artistic) girls to older women.

I am a knitter (currently making my MIL a tea-cosy for Christmas) how strange, I am doing exactly the same thing!

Dh (and most of my family) is nothing but supportive of my knitting, my attempts at sewing, my photography etc. He likes to spend a few hours on the PS4 every now and again and I sit next to him, click-clacking away and occasionally swearing because I've missed a stitch or accidentally pulled them all off the needle

I made him a boob hat the other week and he actually wears it around the house!

Your H sounds really mean. If he doesn't appreciate the effort, love and skill that goes into making something, that's fine but he ought to realise that it's nothing to do with him and everything to do with you keeping your mind healthy (the ultimate reason for having a hobby, imo).

I've come to this thread a bit late but just wanted to say OP I am 36 and have just taken up knitting. I also sew and make quilts. I DO NOT CARE WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS. DH thinks I'm turning into his mother but is said in a jokey and affectionate way. Crafting keeps my hands busy and out of the biscuit jar/cupboard

No it's not. Knit yourself a jumper that says 'fuck off'

Or one for him that says, I am a massive twat.

"Crafting keeps my hands busy and out of the biscuit jar/cupboard"

Me too!

I'm trying(& failing) to think of any hobby that would be "sexy" with me doing it!

Another knitter/sewer/Baker here. Your husband is horrible. Has he never heard the expression "every stitch a love stitch", or my absolute favourite "those who sleep under a quilt, Sleep under a blanket of love"? Hand knitted socks are a thing of beauty and anyone in receipt of them is truly honoured. My OH calls me The Puritan because of my love of a handmade item 😉

Your husband sounds like a massive twat. Dont let him ruin knitting for you. It is a highly skillful and productive hobby, and the image of only grannies knitting is completely outdated. Im currently helping a colleague in her early twenties to learn to knit, as HER request. Just google Wool and the Gang and shove it under his nose.

The fact that you can create not only the fabric but the garment at the same time, using a pile of string, some sticks and your wit is nothing short of FUCKING AWESOME!

May I suggest this for your Christmas knitting:
www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/fuck-off

Twat.

Wow....how can anyone be THAT against KNITTING? He's really brooded on it!

PS - If you havent already, come on over and join Ravelry, and find YOUR PEOPLE, OP.

Rant over. And breathe...

@diddl
I think pole dancing was the suggestion from pp.

Who says knitting cant be sexy - I think this is Owen Wilson!

It’s Kurt Cobain being very cool indeed.

something more interesting to do with my time.

What, like washing his feet? Stick with the knitting. It's more useful than he is.

Yep, the issue is not the knitting, it's that he seems to think your primary decision on what hobby to take up shouldn't be what interests you or you find fun, but how it will look to him and probably more importantly, how it will look to other people when he says what his wife's hobby is.

He's annoyed you aren't centring his desires in your hobby choice. He doesn't feel the need to do the same for you.

Look, there are some funny replies here and assurance that knitting is indeed fabulous, but the knitting isn't the actual issue - the issue is that your DH is unkind to you and clearly this is a symptom of other problems in your relationship. Anyone who doesn't give a fuck that they've hurt their partner - and even worse, deliberately! - doesn't love or respect them very much (sorry I know that sounds hurtful).

I would start another thread in relationships with a wider context and try and unpick it all. You will get some good advice I'm sure, as you deserve better than to live like this

Screw him ! When he starts doing things like hobbies or bad habits you need to say it's unattractive and makes him look stupid !

Taste of his own medicine. Make that second bedroom your safe haven to knit and enjoy your time by yourself! make some awesome socks.

But I really also want to rant about the fucking difference in how women and men spending their time are judged. (Not necessarily on MN, I mean in general)

Women knitting - spinsterish
Men knitting - cool as fuck

If women knit we have to ask ourselves if we are fucking our partners enough, if men knit we want to fuck them!

Gah. Years ago, DH learnt to French braid hair as our DD's had really long hair and nits were rife in the school. DDs hair did look awesome, he did lots of different styles - but the reaction in the playground was as though he had split the atom all by himself - just because he was a man doing stuff like that

@funnylittlefloozie please oh please post a picture of your Beowulf socks!

Moredogs, was just going to ask the same thing - Beowulf socks, ease, Floozie

This thread has actually turned into something quite nice, despite the nastiness of Dimensional’s H.