... to want to scream- husband thinks my hobby is “deeply unattractive”

[DimensionalShambler]

It’s cold and rainy and all day I was looking forward to starting a new knitting project. After dinner I settled down with my wool and needles and and my husband started with the sighing. After the usual rigmarole I dragged it out of him… seeing me knit is “deeply unattractive”, it’s for sexless, boring, tedious women and he hates seeing my projects laying around because it’s a “stringy depressing mess” and I should find something more interesting to do with my time.

I’m absolutely furious at the sexism and stupidity but also really sad because I love knitting- it’s cozy and peaceful and meditative. But now it’s ruined.

I think unless you're a young person then you should probably just be quiet and leave us youngsters to it. You had your shot now it's our time so kindly respect that and keep your opinions to yourself. That goes to you OP and Corbyn.
Wrong thread @starryskye ?

I'd knit him a gag. The twat.

Or does Corbyn have a particular stance on knitting, I would have thought he'd be in favour.

While I agree with everything else PPs are saying, I understand why you're upset. Basically, he's telling you that the person you are is not someone he finds attractive. And all jokes aside, I'm not sure this is something you can come back from easily.

It's one thing to complain if your knitting is cluttering up the house and all over the place. It's entirely another to tell you the hobby itself is deeply unattractive.

I'm sorry OP.

Yeah that's what I got from it too. It's like he used the knitting as a cover to be nasty, cruel and tell her what he thinks of her. That's the issue here and I don't think it's anything to do with knitting

I knit and crochet, almost always using my own patterns, that I have a tendency to make up as I go along. I also code simple video games. I feel like I use the exact same part of my brain doing both. Knitting and coding both require an ability to plot out actions in advance, seeing and understanding the outcome that will ultimately emerge from a simple change, either an extra stitch or a new command. Knitting is highly mathematical. It's art. And it's damn practical.

I work in the tech industry, and I know quite a few male coders that knit!

OP's husband should count himself lucky - mine has to put up with me painting miniatures. Somehow he manages to avoid loud dramatic sighing when I'm covered in paint and swearing at a tiny skeleton's crotch...

Interesting Packingsoapandwater I think it's as simple as that having to make or grow stuff signifies poverty.
Unfortunately, homemade/homegrown is cheaper is no longer true so, if anything, it now signifies the opposite.

This thread is very inspiring. The op has gathered an army of enthusiastic knitters!

My grandma was amazing at knitting and crochet and taught me as a child, but I now can't remember how to start. She'd tried to teach me again just before she died, but her hands were too arthritic by then so we just talked about it.

Can anyone recommend a starting point for a beginner crotcheter / knitter which explains it all in really really simply language but you can get some nice ideas from?

Omg the MISERABLE Fucker!

Stay in that spare room OP and do whatever the FUCK you like with your spare time, don't do anything for him or make him food, just please yourself now! I would!

@kingsassassin find a friend or a class at a local wool shop. Having someone teach you in person is much quicker and less frustrating than trying to learn from videos. Once you have the basics practise practise practise! Loads of free tutorials on youtube.

Kingsassassin, ime the magazines you can buy that come with some free balls of low quality yarn and hook or needles tend to have lovely clear instructions with helpful diagrams. Then the Internet / Ravelry for inspiration and more free patterns, YouTube for videos of any bits you didn't understand.

I don’t know about it always being more expensive to make than to buy - I’m knitting a Mr Onion for DS at the moment. The wool cost £3.75, I have some toy stuffing already but that too was cheap. No pattern appears to exist (internets, you have failed me) so I’m making my own up. I don’t think I could buy one for that little - which is partly why I’m doing it, for an inexpensive - but loving - Christmas present for him. Same with the Hey Duggee I made for him, and his special Duggee hat, and his little rainbow gloves. I don’t use posh wool and I’ve built up a good stash over several years so now I can make things very cheaply. My yoga mat bag too - you can’t buy a decent one cheaply, but mine cost a few quid, plus some time. 🤷‍♀️

I hope you’re ok this morning op.

Packingsoapandwater Yes! You've summed up the 'all the gear and no idea' that I've thought about for ages.

Knitting produces something at the end, its quiet and not show-offy, its creative and beautiful and individual.

There is a great push to commercialize practices like yoga with hundred dollar yoga pants, fancy mats and prayer beads made from crystals that cleanse your aura or some crap....which is not the same as actually doing some yoga. You can't own 'yoga'.

TBH I'd be massively pissed off with an expensive vinyl collection collecting dust, wasting money, that don't even get played, and the DC would probably chuck the lot in a skip, because young people are more about minimalist living and have experiences, not stuff.

@kingsassassin I am trying to get back into crochet and I find youtube videos/tutorials much easier to follow than written explanations. I can only learn by sight and trial an error.

The thing with signifiers though MumW is that they are cultural artefacts. They don't have to be true. The rest of my post that you quoted from explores that idea further. None of this changes the fact that 'making and growing' is classed with 'making do and mending' as something you wouldn't do if you didn't have to, by a large swathe of the population.

Better off people are culturally fine with homemade stuff, it doesn't carry the same baggage of poverty and shame as it does / did traditionally for the working class.

DanglyTasselsOfThigh username made me think of this. Perhaps this is what he has in mind?

Seriously though, I'm sorry OP. He's been really horrible. I hope you're OK this morning.

I agree YouTube is your friend learning to crochet. I used Bella Coco to learn to crochet granny squares and then crocheted a blanket with an Attic 24 kit - it's very soothing. You can get a long way with one stitch.

Knit him an extremely large willy warmer then tell him you find it deeply unattractive that he cant actually fill it.
Tosser. Keep knitting!
My hobby is stinky donkeys and llamas. I am deeply unattractive 95% of the time.

But now it’s ruined.

Only if you let it be.

DH can get to fuck.
Have you explained to him yet how "deeply unattractive" his controlling statements are, & what a "strongy depressing mess" he is?

Does he have form for issuing diktats, telling you what you are allowed to do, how you must behave, & how you must present yourself?

Keep up with the knitting, if you can knit him a jumper that says “I am a knob” but find another hobby too, one that makes a lot of noise...like a recorder or a set of drums?

Thank you very much! I'll see what the local woolshop does and take over youtube! My nearly teens will no doubt whine as much as the op's husband!

Because war and vinyl is so much more attractive 😂😂

tell him to cast off brilliant

Text him this

As soon as men start telling you what you should and shouldn't do, I feel that's your cue to tell him where to go (i.e. out of the door!)

@UnderperformingSeal oh that is lovely ❤️

Tell him that only boring people get bored.......