... to want to scream- husband thinks my hobby is “deeply unattractive”

[DimensionalShambler]

It’s cold and rainy and all day I was looking forward to starting a new knitting project. After dinner I settled down with my wool and needles and and my husband started with the sighing. After the usual rigmarole I dragged it out of him… seeing me knit is “deeply unattractive”, it’s for sexless, boring, tedious women and he hates seeing my projects laying around because it’s a “stringy depressing mess” and I should find something more interesting to do with my time.

I’m absolutely furious at the sexism and stupidity but also really sad because I love knitting- it’s cozy and peaceful and meditative. But now it’s ruined.

Your husband is deeply unattractive. Get rid.

I want to learn how to make arrowheads.
I also crochet and embroider.

My pic didn't attach!

I love knitting, I taught my 10 year old granddaughter to knit during the school holidays and now she loves to knit too. I find it really relaxing. His sexist comments are irritating and uncalled for, plenty of men knit, in fact historically knitting was dominated by men.

Husband’s hobbies are watching depressing war documentaries and paying obscene amounts of money for rare vinyl that he never listens to.

Wow I'm amazed you have time to knit in between breathlessly ripping his kit off in desperate lust.

Please ask him what a sexy attractive hobby would be and report back. We need to know.

@CandiceSucksCandy does that say 'fuck'in the middle?

Op must immediately throw away her knitting needles and install a pole in the living room for her new hobby of pole dancing.
That's what the rest of us would all do, isn't it girls?

Some years back I was crocheting a project on a train in SE London. A group of young men got on dressed in the very cool street way they do and talking in the young slang. I felt a bit embarrassed and uncool and old but I realised they were all watching my hands fixated. One said to the other something like see how quick she's doing that? That's art bruv' Then they all started agreeing and chattering about various women in their family that knitted amazing things and how much skill it took. I was blushing and caught their eye and smiled with them.

There is a whole section of art history theory that is about how traditionally womens art has been downgraded to 'craft' and traditionally male art is elevated to something superior. There are lots of female artists (like Tracey Emin) who make exquisite fine art using textiles. Reclaiming craft as art is very cool.

I am envious of the knitters - I can only crochet.

Knit yourself some lingerie.

You should have looked up, puzzled, and then:

'Oh gosh I'm so sorry, I didn't realise you'd misunderstood. My mistake! Don't worry - the knitting (and all my hobbies) are about me not you. So you weren't required to have an opinion - sorry if that wasn't clear! Ok, just so you know, none of my hobbies interface in any way with what you think and you opinion is about as significant as a fart in a jam jar. Sorry you had to put yourself out for nothing there darling, gosh, that must have wasted literally minutes when you could have been on a search for yet another vinyl record to not listen to. I could cry.'

I have knitted for 50 years. None of my Grandchildren have anything but hand knitted cardigans and jumpers. DH and DS wont wear anything else but my socks!

Tell your not so DH that knitting is one of the now things. Knitting groups and wool shops are on the increase

I am a knitter (currently making my MIL a tea-cosy for Christmas) and would just like to say that I find your husband's behaviour deeply unattractive and immature, and your description of it has me imagining some sort of spotty caveman with hairy hands...

Throw all his warm clothes away - ALL his socks, jumpers, cardigans, scarves etc. Oh, darling, I'm so sorry I thought you said knitting wasn't sexy, so you'd want not to have anything like it in your wardrobe? Have I missed something?

Throw all his warm clothes away - ALL his socks, jumpers, cardigans, scarves etc. Oh, darling, I'm so sorry I thought you said knitting wasn't sexy, so you'd want not to have anything like it in your wardrobe? Have I missed something?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You could explain to him that fishermen's jumpers were knitted with distinctive local patterns so that people could identify where the bloated bodies that washed ashore had come from. Then tell him you've invented a pattern just for him to wear and booked him a boat trip for when you've finished it...

Or as a PP said, just cast him off!

As an aside...my darling dad taught me to knit. He somehow helped make sense of all the complexities of plain stitch. I was about 7 and watching him curled up on the couch knocking out 2 inches of perfectly formed knitting remains a magic memory for me.
His dad taught him.
Tell your DH that
And stick it up his hole

I don't remember when I couldn't knit I learned so young.

I never used to have the sticking power for adult sized projects, so thank goodness I had kids (and have finally given in and started using Aran wool, rather than my beloved 4-ply so I can knit myself something quick enough that I don't get bored of the pattern).

I couldn't care less even if it was 'deeply unnattractive' - my partners have all had hobbies that I couldn't care less about (DP currently deep into strength training - if you want unnattractive, you should have a partner who only eats his pre-prepared meals and keeps asking you to shave his back!)

Tell him your willing to start a hobby you both like, that you can do together, now what does he fancy.
Pudding club.
Train journeys.
Posh wine club.

My ex always made bullshit comments like this to me. Sadly over the years it did slowly chip away at me, leaving me feeling old/frumpy etc. No wonder we had no sex life (again somehow my fault). I'm now with an amazing man who encourages my hobbies & anything that makes me happy

Also I'm loving learning all these knitting facts!

Have you come across Nudinits OP? See how much fun you could both be having!

Amazing how easily put down 'things typically done by women' are - by sexist twats. Yet boring, tedious things typically done by men (cars, watching sport, taking part in sports, talking aimlessly about DIY, gossiping in an ill-informed and tedious manner ('discussing politics' my arse) etc.), are all utterly worthy of time, attention and facilitation by others.

But, as the handmaidens on the regular 'he spends all weekend on his team sports' threads always pull out of the bag - he knew this about you before you married (did he?). Therefore he must accept, facilitate and arrange his leisure time around your hobby for the rest of your lives. (No? Knitting in the evening doesn't demand that? Oh. Well you're not doing 'important hobby intrinsic to my sense of self' right then).

Is it just about the 'old ladyish' nature of the hobby, or is it that it distracts your attention from him?

The only purpose of him saying that to you is to be nasty and to put you down, that's really concerning imo What an absolute asshole

Behind closed doors there are some truly joy sucking miserable fuckers, aren't there?

My grandad was a sailor, he taught my mum to knit and she taught me. I knit socks among other things, it's challenging and good for the brain.

Big hulking sailors either invented or had a significant input to the skill of knitting, think that gets forgotten!