... to want to scream- husband thinks my hobby is “deeply unattractive”

[DimensionalShambler]

It’s cold and rainy and all day I was looking forward to starting a new knitting project. After dinner I settled down with my wool and needles and and my husband started with the sighing. After the usual rigmarole I dragged it out of him… seeing me knit is “deeply unattractive”, it’s for sexless, boring, tedious women and he hates seeing my projects laying around because it’s a “stringy depressing mess” and I should find something more interesting to do with my time.

I’m absolutely furious at the sexism and stupidity but also really sad because I love knitting- it’s cozy and peaceful and meditative. But now it’s ruined.

What a strange thing to say. I suspect a pp might be right though about not wanting you to do something for yourself.

Of course you might always be leaving a mess of knitting/wool everywhere, in which case he could just ask you to be a bit tidier.

I love knitting-started as a kid & used to knit for my dolls.

He sounds like a really unpleasant person, tbh. Is he like this generally? Does he make you happy, op?

Knitting is awesome and skilled, and not everything has to be sexy all the time. Does he see you as a person, or a blow-up doll that talks?

Knit him a mankini in very very itchy yarn and insist he wears it just for you! 😉

I snorted so hard at the description of “cyclist as a personality trait” that I think I’ve ruptured a sinus.

Tell him that once you’ve finished your sock you’ll knit him a dick warmer, but you’re just waiting for the extra small needles to arrive.

On a more serious note, your partner should love you for who you are, not who they want you to be. My partner hated my hobby and openly disapproved of it; I found this so hurtful because it showed he had no respect for me as a person and he only really cared about me as an extension of himself/how I fitted into his life plans. It’s only of the many reasons why he’s my ex. You sound like a fabulous, intelligent person so don’t be dragged down by this negative bellend. If in doubt, sharpen those needles and poke him in the eye.

I’ve knitted since the age of 7. Used to be a knitwear designer. Did some modelling on the side too.

‘Deeply unsttractive’ what a twat!

Your husband needs to know that the Mumsnet Army is waiting, knitting needles specially sharpened, ready for action. He should be scared, very scared.

'Well darling, Im afraid there is nothing more unattractive to me than a man telling me what I should and shouldnt enjoy. Real passion killer right there. I'll sleep in the other room for now, and enjoy my knitting in peace".

Dick.

I love knitting, it's my hobby too. I would respond with I am not here for your entertainment and I frankly don't care what you think. Or knit yourself some underwear and ask if that's more his taste.

If you think about it, there are loads of man-hobbies (ie things that are more likely to be done by men) that many percieve as silly, unsexy, uncool etc. Trainspotting, painting model figures for tabletop games, stamp collecting etc. It's OK to think a partner's hobby is a bit daft, and it's not wholly unreasonable to object to a hobby if it means mess all over the house, annoying noises/smells... or the hobbyist spends more than the household budget can stand on stuff for the hobby.
But, whatever a person's choice of leisure activity, a partner shouldn't be spiteful about what it is. This does sound like a man who can't bear a woman not being ready to pay him attention whenever he's so inclined.

Dilkhush

"There's a magic to it, a single piece of yarn curled and twisted together with 2 sticks to evenly cover a whole surface."

Beautiful. I love it when someone makes you see something everyday all over again with new eyes. And I can't even knit (except 'squares' that are a lot wider on one side than another).

He sounds like a right bastard.

I knit and crochet and my DH couldn't be more proud of me. I made a Christmas wreath this week, DH thought it was amazing so he took a photo to show some of his colleagues.

When I was a little girl my gramp used to knit his own socks and string vests and he crocheted me, my sister and cousins a poncho each.

Don't stop knitting because of him. I can guarantee that if you didn't like his hobby he'd stick two fingers up to you and keep doing it.

Apparently he’s telling me this for my own good because I’m too smart and talented to be making socks.

Has he ever knitted a sock himself? They’re not easy!

I'd knit a set of egg cosies, plus a spare, then at breakfast give said spare to him as a willy warmer.

Would you like me to teach you how to make arrowheads from the bottom of bottles? You already have a great target to use them on!

.... seeing me knit is “deeply unattractive”, it’s for sexless, boring, tedious women.

And prize for mumsnet knob of the week goes to this dickhead.
What an awful man he is.

Has he made comments about anything like this before or is the first time?
I also wondered how old you both are. This has undertones of agism. He associates knitting with older women. He wants a sexy young woman who is always sexy and forever young...
He doesn't like you knitting because he perceives this to be something people start to do when they get older and he does not want this to happen.
I'd be concerned about his attitude in general.

Knitting is for everyone, of all ages. It's also for men and women, not just women. I'm rubbish at it but I have knitted at different times in my life and it's very relaxing and lovely to create your own projects and have the satisfaction of completing them.

Don't let him put you off knitting. He can go fuck himself with a knitting needle.

sozzlechops pffttt 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You need to knit one, purl one - and then lose one!

To be fair, me and DH nearly split up earlier this yer because of my knitting.

but that was because it had become an obsession and I was ignoring him whilst doing it,

Just to play devils advocate.... most likely he's unreasonable and atwat but .....

Jesus. Is he like this often or is it a blip?

Tbh he sounds like a stringy depressing mess!

Tell him you hate seeing him around the house

“stringy depressing mess” is such a great description of my own knitting efforts :o

But agree with everyone else, what an unimaginative, sexist twat (and so many great comments on this thread :)) Anyone who thinks knitting is uncool or old-fashioned must have been living under a rock for 20 years.

LOVE the knitting men pics as well!

Husband’s hobbies are watching depressing war documentaries and paying obscene amounts of money for rare vinyl that he never listens to. Ooh, he sounds just like the sort of exciting, interesting person I’d like to be friends with....Oh wait, no he doesn’t! He’s not exactly Jason Momoa, is he?

To be fair, my DH calling me a “tedious woman” would have me calling for a divorce. Couldn’t live with someone who spoke to me like that.

What MrsPellegrinoPetrichor said - I think any love for my husband would dissolve after he said something so hurtful

His comments are so unkind and full of malice.

Knit yourself a Tom Hardy!