Freaked out

[whereareallmyhairbands]

I'm not feeling well today, and having trouble sleeping.
Whilst laying in bed thinking, I heard a strange noise downstairs. I thought the cat might have brought home a mouse etc so I pop downstairs and have a look. Can't see anything or any sign of cat. Check the back door and the cat flap is open, all the way, stuck open.
So I shut it, and as I turn out the kitchen light the house phone rang!!!
My goodness it scared me - but because no good calls come at night I answered phone. No one there initially, and then i hear a tv with what sounds like a scary film playing in the background.

I've hung up and put the phone handset and base on mute downstairs.

I'm now upstairs writing this message so I don't feel so alone!!!!

Please don’t let his stupid sister try and guilt-trip you into dropping charges!!! You have absolutely no responsibility for his behaviour. He is an adult and has chosen to behave the way he has and has ended up where he is as a result. Please be proud of yourself and your son!!!

You are a victim on paper only. Your proactive attitude shows you are not actually a victim.

Bloody hell. That escalated quickly.

Hope you're ok OP. You sound like you have raised a wonderful son and I wish him well for his date.

I can't imagine how it must feel to have your safe space intruded on like that. I hope you manage to relax again soon.

With regards to his sister (and I think police advice is probably helpful here): I feel a note telling her to never contact you again and telling her that she is to destroy any record of your address and that she is not to share it with anyone (not sure if GDPR applies here or not) could be wise. You can then block her again after, but at least you'll have evidence that you have told her.

@whereareallmyhairbands
I can't believe once again he has made me a "victim"
It's cruel.
I was a strong capable woman who raised an incredibly bright and caring man almost single handedly.
He reduced me to being fearful in my home, my safe place.

You most definitely are not a victim, you stopped the idiot in his tracks before he could properly affect your life again. I say you are a VERY strong, capable woman 💐

Gosh just read all of this and feel strongly that you are not a victim, you are a strong woman! You did all the sensible things and acted accordingly. Very smart and very strong woman i say. And sounds like your son is a good example of that

Might be no harm in speaking to women's aid and getting some support too OP.

It's very frightening and aggressive behaviour.

I wonder if you can apply for a non-molestation order or something similar to keep him away?

Oh my goodness. You poor thing. Thank goodness the police were so proactive.
I know you're NC with the sister but I think you should inform her of what she has done by sharing your information with him.
Good luck. Look after yourself.

You don't sound like a victim to me. You sound like a strong independent woman.

Your ex may have made you a victim in the past but the quick way you have dealt with him this time is fantastic. You should feel proud of yourself.

Definitely not a victim, you're an absolute hero. You took action, you sought help from the police, your son came home to put up cameras and support you because you raised him to be such a decent person. The loser ex is the one who'll pay for all this madness. Full credit to you OP.

Bloody hell, that must have been so scary for you!
Why is he bothering you now though?
Thank goodness your lovely son came home and fitted the Ring thing (I am very tempted to buy one after a friend also recommended it) otherwise who knows what would have happened if he'd broken in?!!!!
You're doing grand OP

@TokenGinger I'd rather have invalid house insurance than die in a fire because I can't get out.

What an utter waste of skin he is

You and your DS are awesome and have dealt with this wonderfully.

What a wank badger.

Utter cunt. He didn't come back until after dark because he was counting on your DS not being there. He wanted you to be alone when he smashed his way in.

Use the legal system to its fullest extent to get this dangerous prick away from you. You're not a victim - but he wanted you to be. And quite likely not just a victim of some slight inconvenience.

Just as well he's thick as shit and got pissed up first, really.

You are not a victim my love. This is an opportunity now to use his actions to keep him away from you permanently. I hope you take full advantage of that and feel empowered by it too.
Hope your lovely son had an amazing date night! Hopefully he can be with you while you deal with this sorry excuse of a man.

How are you op? Hope you are feeling better.

I'm not great to be very honest.
I keep having flashbacks to his eyes through the glass.

I had a panic attack in the lift at work as my imagination kept making me "see" him when the doors opened.

I've taken a few days off.

Oh dear I'm not surprised. Hope you can get some peaceful sleep.

I can't stop thinking about you, poor darling. I hope you feel better soon.

Thinking of you xx

Oh wow, I’ve just caught up on all of this. I’m so glad the police caught him in the act. What are they going to do to keep him away from you?

Be kind to yourself x