Films that give you the rage!

[crispysausagerolls]

Inspired by the excellent thread on songs.

Mine is Titanic. Billy Zane is marrying Rose knowing he is used as a money mule to help the family - she then cheats on him, flaunts it, and he is somehow the bad guy. WTAF. If roles were reversed it was be horrendous. Just because Leo was hot doesn’t make it ok 😁

Love actually - everything from “the chubby girl....sizeable arse....huge thighs“ - to the hideous Alan Rickman Secretary storyline to kris Marshall’s Colin being a babe magnet because he has an English accent 🤮 Get to fuck with it and then some

Oh and Mama Mia 2. So basically this young girl goes to travel the world, full of promise. Visits 2 countries then gets pregnant and gets stuck in the second country raising her child. She's just about getting her life back on track then she DIES in her early 40's??
It's traumatic, why did the writers have her die rather than be completing her round the world trip?

Groundhog Day.
The repetition ( which is the main theme) just annoyed me long before the resolution. I’m not a fan of Andie McDowell ... seems to just frown all the way through all of her performances.

The Shape Of Water and Roma

Both Oscar Winners covered in critical glory, two of the worst films I've ever seen

Roma :

If you want 2 hours of shots of hallways, puddles and dogs barking with the thinnest possible plot, Roma is the film for you

The Shape Of Water

Woman has sex with a fishman who recently ate her neighbours cat. Diabolical.

Love actually!! Keira knightly cheating on her husband to be kind!! WTAF

Did she actually cheat though? I thought that was the one where he told her she was perfect then just sort of disappeared??? It's been a few years though.

Pretty Woman

Oh, I know that Dirty Dancing is creepy as hell with my feminist, 40-something glasses on. But I still love it for the memories it brings me of being a frustrated teenager waiting for life to begin and lusting after Patrick Swayze...

I find so, so many films infuriating, to be honest. One that springs to mind:

American Beauty. Now that really ^was* creepy, yet so feted by the critics and luvvies. Urgh. And now we know what we know about Kevin Spacey, too...

THe Lion King remake. Why the lionesses couldn't deal with Scar on their own but ceased to function until irritating little fucker Simba returns is beyond me. Load of misogynistic old pony.

Frozen is over sentimental wank. In fact, I'm getting really irritated by (kids) films these days insisting on only having 'redeemable' villains. They couldn't even leave Maleficent to be a proper baddy, they all have to have a sob story and 'be saved by love'in the end. Just give me some bastard to hate! Even Thanos was ruined, for fuck sake.

The Harry Potter Films. Not just the terrible acting, being on the big screen really highlights how awful and two dimensional all the book characters are.

Keira Knightly didn’t cheat on her husband in Love Actually 🤷‍♀️

But Nicholas Cage had the worst Italian accent in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. He crucified that film! Just awful. How did no one notice?!

Sunshine, with Cillian Murphy.

It's like looking for a plot in an ocean.

I can't remember the name of it, but it involved some people on an outdoor trip in the jungle somewhere, on a boat but sometimes not on a boat. There's a crocodile which appears to be way more sentient than a crocodile is capable of, and it slowly picks them off, one by one. It's a combination of the fact a crocodile just can't think like a human and humans can't possibly be so stupid. But we just had to watch it to find the end.

Forest bloody Gump. Idiot male does really well, and his intelligent female friend dies! God, that film made me spew bile.

Frozen is over sentimental wank

Aww, no! Can't beat it for an afternoon of popcorn and singing!

Oh and Jesus Christ Ad Astra that came out the other month.

Avoid it like the plague

Pretentious pseudophilosophical snoozefest

A sci-fi film called Oblivion that starred Tom Cruise and had Olga Kurylenko (17 years younger than him) and Andrea Riseborough (19 years younger) as his love interests. The plot might have been quite interesting, but I was so annoyed by the fact that men get to carry on with these virile action hero roles, beyond middle age, being paired with younger and younger women (Especially Tom Cruise, who is annoying anyway) that I could concentrate on what was happening.

And Passengers of course. So, so wrong.

Four Weddings and a Funeral. He was lucky Duckface just punched him at the altar. Idiot.

Also, agree with Titanic. You've known him literally 36 hours, and he mainly fancies you because you can stand on tippy-toes and smoke roll-ups with poor people. (And spit. Really? REALLY, JAMES CAMERON?) Plus it would make much more sense historically if you and your dirty industrial millions were being shipped over the Atlantic to shore up some impoverished English dukedom but no that doesn't fit with the direction of the crossing...

Both SATC movies. Especially the second

From Dusk Til Dawn.

Suddenly everyone turns into a vampire. WTAF?

Until then it was quite entertaining!

@MintyMabel Black Water?

But Nicholas Cage had the worst Italian accent in Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

If we're going on accents, it has to be PS I love you. Big fan of Gerard Butler, but with so many top class Irish Actors, to pick a Scotsman who slaughters the Irish Accent is unforgivable! Did the casting agent say "ach, Scottish / Irish, same same"

Braveheart - terrible accent and they portrayed the battle of Stirling bridge without the bridge.

Robin Hood - terrible accent and apparently you can walk from the white cliffs of Dover to Nottingham in a few hours.

Pretty Woman

Used to love Grease as a kid/teen but now I'm older I'm like, wtf!? Change who you are, change your look, start smoking, become 'bad' and you'll get the guy! Load of shite
He tried to change for her as well though.

I was so annoyed by the fact that men get to carry on with these virile action hero roles, beyond middle age, being paired with younger and younger women (Especially Tom Cruise, who is annoying anyway)

This is literally all Tom Cruise does. I suggest you don't watch any more of his films