I hope your partner has been able to reply to your employers messages, to set a boundary and squash any more encroaching on her behalf.
You need to concentrate on yourself right now, not be worrying and feeling vulnerable about being intruded upon by a rogue employer.
Btw I employ carers for myself, as I’m disabled and ill myself, and I try and treat my employees/ team very well as good carers are gold dust!
They have very good employment contracts, which give clear direction on sickness communication, including sick pay and a request to phone or message me by 7am on the day, not later.
I’ve learnt to insist on this as people do try to struggle on, being very committed, and hoping to miraculously feel better and come in after all, and then not being well enough, and inadvertently ending up leaving me no time to make other arrangements.
Over the years I’ve often had to decide that an ill carer will be ill the next day / for the rest of the week and find alternative arrangements, even if the carer themselves isn’t capable of telling me themselves. People do tend to think they’ll be better tomorrow when they really won’t be! I’ve come to realise that it’s a sign of being really poorly, that you just can’t estimate your own illness and recovery as well as usual. I’m not talking about a sniffle of course, but something that knocks you flat.
I’ve also found that people are rather relieved when you sometimes end up taking it out of their hands and say ‘look, you’re clearly really poorly so I’m not expecting you to even think about work for x days, so please tell me how you’re doing but only because I’m concerned, not because I’m expecting you to even talk about work until x day’... there’s nothing worse than feeling awful and panicking about work at the same time.
Sooooo, I’ve learnt to be strong on sick policy, because my rather brilliant carers tend to be too committed. And even if I am feeling rather desperate about how I’m going to cover them, it always works out, mainly because you build up people you can ask over time if you treat everyone with respect as you go along, instead of using them up until they are wrung out like a dish cloth and have to run away from you!!!
Respect breeds respect, and I find that a sign of everything working well is when my carers are committed and caring about coming into work when they are ill, and I’m the one caring about them and ensuring they are not overdoing it.
If you have a situation where that’s flipped, and the employers is forcing carers in and making out like they are not committed enough... there’s something gone very wrong.
Chasing you down in your hospital bed?! I think that says it all!