AIBu To think I can’t just walk out of hospital to suit my employer

[Blueberrydreams]

I am a carer
We are a small team of 4 caring for one lady. Her family employ us. One member of staff left six months ago and they decided not to replace her and they have no bank staff even thought it’s been recommended to them on many occasions by the agency that takes care of all the HR. She needs someone 24/7 though a day a week that is family members the staff all work around 40 hours a week.
One of the staff is on long term sick and we have been really stretched and struggling. again no move to get bank staff.

I was admitted to hospital 2 weeks ago with a bad infection. I thought I was better and went back to work last night.

The sister of the lady said how they had struggled to cope without me last week and she nearly had a breakdown.
Anyway fast forward to tonight and about 4pm collapsed in pain and am now in hospital on antibiotic drip and morphine pump.

My partner rang the sister and told her I would not be for night shift and why. The sister was lovely with my partner but then sent me a text saying I needed to come in later in the night once the hospital had controlled my pain as I am needed and she wants me in 6am at the latest to help with the morning routine
I am currently on a ward in immense pain, weeing blood and just want to ignore it or text something back rude

When I worked for the police (civilian staff) I received a phone call from my manager whilst hospitalised telling me she expected me at work within an hour. She continued to harass me every single day I was in there. Life is too short. Hand your notice in, rudely. Get better soon.

This is unbelievable... just concentrate on yourself and getting well. Block her so you cant receive her messages but can still use your phone...
she sounds so selfish (and a bit bonkers)!
I hope you feel better very soon

I can’t believe this woman is being so ridiculous! I really think you need to get out, look for something else and get out of there. They sound awful.
Sorry you’re so poorly, I hope you recover soon

Op I have family who have done similar roles to yours. The turnover of staff is quite high. My sisters always say you can do about 12 months with one family and that's enough. Purely because of the family.

Quite often the family directly employ the carers as they are self managing the funds. Quite often the family are also paid for caring for the patient. Quite often they mis manage the funds, and have no experience of managing staff. Often they benefit financially from keeping the payroll as small as possible.

Am not saying that this is the case with your employer. But a family who my dsis was involved with were investigated by the insurance company who were funding the care package and by CQC is it (the care ofsted equivalent). In this case it was the families dd who was being cared for following a serious car accident.

The insurance company withdrew the family being able to self manage the dds care, and although she was allowed to stay at home, they were given warnings that if they continued to interfere with the carers and prevent them from doing their job, the dd would be moved to residential care for her own safety.

I would ignore all texts and calls from your employer. And I would decide if the person you are caring for is being left vulnerable or their basic needs not being met by the families refusing to properly fund the care and use bank staff when necessary.

There are other care jobs out there.

I have never worked in care before this, we have basically been told we need to give 48 hours notice before we are off ill and if we don’t give that notice it is up to us to arrange cover. This was not in a contact we have signed it was sent in a email afterwards and told this is how most care jobs work.

This is completely wrong. I can well believe it was said but there really is excuse for saying that. You have rights and your employer is ignoring them. Please use this opportunity to leave and get another job.

OP I'm so sorry you're in this position. She is a CF of the highest order. Good carers are ALWAYS in demand, there are several agencies out there who will snap you up. Good move on telling the ward not to give any information/let her in. I would send one text message, Dear Employer, I am currently in hospital as you are aware. It is NOT for me to arrange cover, and it is NOT appropriate for you to harass me in this manner. Please accept this as my notice for this role. I have enjoyed working with CLIENT and wish you well in finding a new member of staff. Please be aware that further contact beyond confirming receipt of my notice may be deemed harassment and is against employment law. Best wishes. And then do not engage in any further correspondence. I hope you feel better soon x

Don't answer any more texts. Tell the nursing staff that your employer is harassing you to work, give her name and ask she not be allowed in as she's threatening to come to the hospital. Tell DH to ring and inform you are hospitalised, and a sick note will follow after self cert period. Then just ignore. Both you and DH, and when you feel well enough again contact ACAS for advice.
Or text back 'Take this as my notice, fuck off' or words to that effect.
Whichever makes life easier for you 😁
Get well soon 💐

What a batshit notion that anyone could give 48 hours notice that they were going to be ill. I can see it leaves them without any cover but they really need to sign up for bank staff to cover periods when their other staff are unavailable. How do they cover holidays?

There's a reason the 48hr illness rule and supplying cover yourself aren't in your contract, because they can't ask this if you!

Your employer is taking the piss big time.

If you're not going to hand your notice in, I'd recommend you get signed off work by the Dr and spend time at home getting better. If
She tries to get you back to work or sacks you, id be straight into an employment lawyer and have her up in court. Bloody ridiculous attitude towards her employees

100% quit. You must put your wellbeing first. I feel sorry for the poor lady with a family like that.

you need to be fair to her and give a date of return, be it in one week or 3 days, imo

you need to be fair to her and give a date of return, be it in one week or 3 days, imo

Seriously? Sometimes people just don't know how long an illness will last. It is not fair to tell them she'll be back in 3 weeks if she doesn't know what is wrong and how long recovery will take. Think it through.

OP, I would quit personally and I'd then try to claim constructive dismissal through the courts. They are bullying you in the workplace. I get that they need this care for their family member and being let down by staff must be incredibly frustrating and difficult to deal with and I also get that they may be suspicious about your illness but that is all their issue, not yours. They need to find realistic workable solutions, that's not your job, your job is a carer not a manager.

Ok then Eleanor I will ask the doctor to give me a definite date when all this will be cleared up and I can go back to work. I will say he needs to be specific to the day.

So hi doctor I am on a morphine drip in immense pain. You still need to do a load of investigations but can you give me a specific date to return to work!!!!

How Eleanor? Unless the OP has a crystal ball, she has no way of knowing how long it will take to recover from this.

Personally, I'd ignore all communications from work and if asked later, say I wasn't aware of it because my focus was on my health.

you need to be fair to her and give a date of return, be it in one week or 3 days, imo

No one can give a return to work date. Just like you cannot give yourself 48 hours notice to get ill.
Recovery works on its own accord.
I can get signed off for 2 weeks. Doesn’t mean I go back in 2 weeks. It might need another week.

Agree to her visiting and give her a made up ward name in a different hospital in a city far away. Blame it on the morphine when she figures it out.

Just had a message asking what ward I am on as she wants to come and see me!!!! I don’t think she believes I am in but I don’t want her coming to see me to prove it

I'd strongly suggest you send your resignation immediately and enter into no more discussions - after all there's no lack of care jobs

Obviously it's stressful for the family, but if they want to save money on agency fees by employing you directly then they also need a back-up system in place - the fact they seem not to have done this isn't your responsibility

I hope yoiu're fully recovered soon and can resign and then put this out of your mind in the meantime

What a cow! You know that when you don’t let her visit she’s going to demand a photo of you in your hospital bed, holding a copy of today’s paper!?!

Wow she is just batshit crazy.
Hope you start to feel better soon OP.

I hope you feel better soon, OP.

How ironic that your employer is in the ‘caring’ industry. It’s not very caring of them is it?

That doesn't surprise me at all. I worked for the NHS in medical records in a hospital at one point. One of my colleagues was hospitalised and on one of the words attached to a drip. Our manager went up there with a trolley of work for her to do, and demanded that she get out of bed and get on with it. The ward sister went mad and kicked manager off the ward.

Another colleague was sacked when she was diagnosed with cancer.

I honestly think that employers in the so-called "caring" professions are the worst.

Are you in the position to hand in your notice?
From what I understand, your contract is with the company not with the person is contacting you? If this is the case, speak to the people who employ you and tell them that this person is harrassing you when you are ill in hospital.
This is not your fault that the family do not wish to get the correct cover in place in cases like this.

I don’t think the hospital are able to give any information over the phone to someone who is not your next of kin (although I could be wrong) especially since the midwife who gave info over the phone to a newspaper regarding the birth of one of the royal babies