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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBu To think I can’t just walk out of hospital to suit my employer

209 replies

Blueberrydreams · 05/11/2019 23:42

I am a carer
We are a small team of 4 caring for one lady. Her family employ us. One member of staff left six months ago and they decided not to replace her and they have no bank staff even thought it’s been recommended to them on many occasions by the agency that takes care of all the HR. She needs someone 24/7 though a day a week that is family members the staff all work around 40 hours a week.
One of the staff is on long term sick and we have been really stretched and struggling. again no move to get bank staff.

I was admitted to hospital 2 weeks ago with a bad infection. I thought I was better and went back to work last night.

The sister of the lady said how they had struggled to cope without me last week and she nearly had a breakdown.
Anyway fast forward to tonight and about 4pm collapsed in pain and am now in hospital on antibiotic drip and morphine pump.

My partner rang the sister and told her I would not be for night shift and why. The sister was lovely with my partner but then sent me a text saying I needed to come in later in the night once the hospital had controlled my pain as I am needed and she wants me in 6am at the latest to help with the morning routine
I am currently on a ward in immense pain, weeing blood and just want to ignore it or text something back rude

OP posts:
ffswhatnext · 06/11/2019 03:22

What do you mean I'm not working? Where am I then, hang on let me look around..... Oh yea just remembered. Came back to my hospital bed after going loo to piss blood again.. Who is this again?

Limpshade · 06/11/2019 04:53

Don't send a reply at all. It suggests you are contactable and opens up a conversation. You have informed her of the situation and that's enough. Once you are well enough that you are out of hospital, hand your notice in.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/11/2019 05:14

Ignore. Ignore. You are employed, not self employed. Your employee is confused. And nasty. Their choice not to replace first and second colleague or to get back up care.

Mummyoflittledragon · 06/11/2019 05:14

Employer not employee.

ivykaty44 · 06/11/2019 05:32

Keep text messages and get sick note from doctor

Don’t send text message back and get partner to take in sick note
When you’re feeling better look for alternative work

mathanxiety · 06/11/2019 06:09

Send a text that reads 'covfefe'.

MyOtherProfile · 06/11/2019 06:15

Shocking. Ignore them and take care of yourself. You've told them your situation.

AJPTaylor · 06/11/2019 06:25

I guess it's the downside of direct pay. But it's not your problem. Where I am, South East, there are daily adverts from care agencies desperate for staff (their words) so I guess even with agencies they struggle. But yes resign.

Brefugee · 06/11/2019 06:36

you're agency staff? get on to your HR team when you've controlled your pain and tell them you're in hospital. Do you get sick-pay? take yourself off home for at least 3 days to recover if that's possible, tell HR.

Tell HR also that they have to insist to the family that their personnel are treated like valued and valuable human beings and that after you have told them you're in hospital the only acceptable contact to you is "hope you feel better soon", and to contact them about replacement staff.

Your HR should be looking after you. They might also want to explain the very simple concept of Employment Rights to the family and a crash course in supply and demand and how scarcity of something (carers) pushes the price up...

hope you feel better soon (and yes, it sounds as though the person you replaced was here saying pretty much the same things as you)

Brefugee · 06/11/2019 06:40

sorry - thought you were working for an agency. Quit. Just hand in your notice with immediate effect and as the grounds say that you are being bullied (you might want to check this with someone who knows about employment law)

And next time do agency work, it probably pays less but you will have an HR to step in at times like this. And join a union.

Bloke23 · 06/11/2019 06:50

I had something similar a few years ago, but not a carers job! I wss admitted to the hospital and ended up being in there for 3 weeks, the first week and half i was on a morphine drip and could barely function, my work insisted that a phoned them at 7am every morning for an update, after doing it for 4 days i was so fed up and tired, on the 5th day, i sent my partner to my work, with my months notice and i never went back

Llioed · 06/11/2019 07:05

Erm, how are people to know that they need to be off poorly in 48 hours in order to give notice? That is weird! I’ve never heard of such a rule. How are you OP? I agree with PP in keeping text messages for proof (should you need it)

insancerre · 06/11/2019 07:14

2 things
You do not have to give 48 hours of being ill
Most contracts will ask for notification of an hour after your start time
It’s not your responsibility to arrange cover

You are allowed to self certify for 3 days and then you need a sick note
Your work should not be contacting you when you are ill harassing you to go in

Your best bet is to get a sick note sent to them and then ignore all texts
And get well soon

hardyloveit · 06/11/2019 07:16

Ha that rule is bullshit! I work in care and if your ill your ill! How are you supposed to know when your going to be ill. Don't go back to that job op. It sounds awful!

TheSerenDipitY · 06/11/2019 07:17

if she mentions the contract again, tell her any changes made after you signed and started working are null and void, so no you wont be in and if she doesnt like that she can start advertising for new staff

Quartz2208 · 06/11/2019 07:20

Yep the email is not part of your contract you can’t add things after it is signed at all

I would hand in your notice to be honest they are not good employers

UnmentionedElephantDildo · 06/11/2019 07:20

Do not do anything whilst you are on morphine.

Do you have a partner/friend/anyone who can contact the family, explain in words if one syllable that being on a morphine driver is incompatible with anything other than hospital rest, and they are not to contact you directly until out of hospital at the earliest. At present you do not know how long necessary medical investigations will take

Get well soon - this is upir top priority by far

Then decide about whether it is time to change job, and if so start looking

lowlandLucky · 06/11/2019 07:27

On a morphine drip for extreme pain and you are on mumsnet !

WaningGibbous · 06/11/2019 07:27

On one of your other threads someone did the calculations over how many caters this family actually needed to cover 24/7 to cover holiday, ilness and how many hours the carers worked. It was far, far more than the 3 carers they have.

theboxfamilytree · 06/11/2019 07:29

You've posted about the 48 hours notice of illness and being asked to arrange your own cover before.

Every time you post about this terrible job you're advised to resign. You said you were going to?

Listen to your husband. Resign.

Fleaminraging · 06/11/2019 07:30

I would not even entertain texting back while you are lying in a hospital bed in immense pain. You have followed normal protocol by having your partner call in sick for you asap, given that you are in hospital. It would be one thing to reply while you are at home but you are totally justified to ignore the message and respond at a more appropriate time, while you are in hospital. I have worked in many care environments and even the worst of my employers would not expect a response if something like this were happening. It's your employer's responsibility to have cover in case of an emergency, it would be yours if the shift just didn't suit you or something came up but not an emergency. Let them get on with it.

Original poster
Blueberrydreams · 06/11/2019 07:30

Morning did not get much sleep. Just had a message asking what ward I am on as she wants to come and see me!!!! I don’t think she believes I am in but I don’t want her coming to see me to prove it.

I have told the nurse I do not want any details given over the phone to anyone except my husband.
I said when booking in at A and E I was happy for them to give information. They might say what ward I have been admitted to if she rings them!!!
She might come and try and drag me out of bed (don’t really think this)

OP posts:
Original poster
Blueberrydreams · 06/11/2019 07:33

Yes lowlandlucky because morphine does not render me unconscious and using my thump to type on a phone doesn’t require much effort. The women in the next bay who thinks she is a a duck and is quacking constantly is stopping me getting much sleep
Haven’t posted about this before as I said earlier in thread

OP posts:
NotSorry · 06/11/2019 07:38

OP has stated a number of times she hasn’t posted about this before - it is possible to have the same situation and be a different person!

OP I wish you a speedy recovery and I’d hand my notice in.

Elderflower14 · 06/11/2019 07:42

This woman is completely crazy...Ask the nurse to ask for visitors names.... Hope you are feeling better soon... Oh and as for the numpty Mner saying you shouldn't be posting because you are on morphine... Pfft!!!!!

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