Really annoyed this evening and would like to know who’s being a dick...me or DH. DH arrived home from work tonight at 11pm. He works ridiculously long hours as he’s in the middle of an enormous project which will end in two weeks. It has been going on for a little over a year and he’s understandably shattered every day due to working from 8am until 10pm most days, sometimes typing and conference calling away until 2am if he’s working from home. I see how hard he works and that is not the issue, as he loves his job, but I just wanted to give some context.
I usually wait up for him until 11ish despite having 3DCs and really needing the sleep, so we can spend a little time together.
Tonight he had his dinner, having only had time for a sandwich around 6, then we sat on the sofa to chat. He asks if I would massage his feet. Not a problem. We do this for each other sometimes.
The issue is, apparently I don’t press hard enough, I obviously just don’t have the strength in my hands. This probably sounds like a stupid issue and you’ll all think I’m batshit but I did the best I could and then stopped after a few minutes. He said I needed to press harder because he’s really aching. My hands hurt by now so I say no. We have a mini argument because he thinks I was just not trying. I was pressing with all the strength i had! Trouble is he likes extremely firm massages that really dig into him, whereas I’m the opposite and have to tell him not to press too hard when he massages me.
After the little tiff I refused to press his feet again; and went up to bed. He was calling me selfish and said that he will sometimes need this when he’s worked a zillion long days in a row. I’ve looked after 3 kids all day and cooked, cleaned, done laundry etc. What if I’m fucking tired when he needs (wants) a massage?? I told him to hire a masseuse to come to the house like a lot of people do nowadays and he said that won’t work as it’s something he “needs” me to do (and get better at apparently) when he’s home from work. Pretty sure we could time it so that the masseuse arrives when he does!
Anyway, sorry for the long rant, AIBU to not want to do it because he wants me to press so hard it causes me pain??? Or am I selfish like he says.
Before I get any of the usual responses:
Is he always a dick? No he is not usually a dick.
When does he see the kids!? He spends plenty of time with the kids at the weekend and briefly in the morning, as well as when working from home (which he does regularly) and also when he is able to come home early.
Thanks all.