To feel rather like slapping my friend right now

[bagpuss90]

I am partially deaf in one ear-I only have around 40% hearing. It’s not a type of deafness that can be helped with a hearing aid. So I basically just get on with it. I struggle to hear people in noisy environments. But generally i manage okay. I was out with my friend yesterday and she’d obviously asked me something and I hadn’t heard a word. She then bellows HELLOOO -earth to (my name) come in please ffs. She knows about my deafness - I didn’t say anything -I let it go.Obviously I’m not going to slap her -bu it actually really pissed me off. There were other people there I’m not stupid-I’m not ignorant -I have partial hearing . Im really tempted to send her a text telling her what I think of her . Any thoughts ?

You're overreacting

You are not overreacting OP

She was incredibly rude and patronising.

I’d send her a link to some deaf awareness training.

Well if she’s usually nice then you’re overreacting. She’s probably kicking herself for saying it

That would be fucking rude even without your hearing loss. Tell her that next time.

I also think you're over reacting, I have a friend who is partially deaf, she does have hearing aids, but refuses to wear them, and making conversation with her is incredibly difficult and frustrating for everyone including her. Sometimes you need to repeat the same silly comment several times, and it just becomes cringe because it was never very important in the first place and was just a throwaway comment.

As much as people should always have empathy sometimes you do just say something you shouldn't out of frustration.

I think wanting to slap her is a bit much, as much as it's frustrating for you do try to understand sometimes it's also frustrating for others, and our reactions aren't always perfect or our finest moment.

No -she has form

Why didn't you correct her at the time? "X, you know I'm partially deaf, there's no need to speak to me like that, I just have difficulty hearing you in noisy environments".

Brooding on it for hours and talking about slapping her seems unnecessary when it could have been handled at the time.

I dont think your overreacting. I would send a calm text message explaining that she knows you have partial hearing and that her comment made you feel self conscious and hurt. Do it in a I felt kind of way rather than attacking her. It's quite likely she just didnt think but a gentle reminder of your feelings will avoid a similar situation in the future

As I said I’m generally okay-I cope -I don’t think I’m that frustrating

Cross posted and saw the her having form for this. In which case I would call her out on it everytime she does it.

I have a similar hearing condition. I'd have either pulled her up on it at the time or let it go, but I suppose you could send her a text saying you were hurt by her attitude towards your hearing loss the other night.

It was very rude so I would send a text explaining that you felt upset. But it's also very frustrating to keep repeating the same thing again and again.

No, I'm another for you not overreacting! It was rude

I don’t think you are over reacting at all.

Send the text to the rude bitch

To add: this would be rude if you didn't have partial deafness too. The fact you do just makes it 10x worse.

If she has form for being rude like this, why are you still friends with her?

Well If she has form...then she is an arsehole. It was very rude and unnecessary. She could just have repeated the sentence without being a right cunt.

Incredibly insensitive of her.

I'm partially deaf in one ear and I think you're overreacting really.

Being partially deaf doesn't mean I don't zone out sometimes like everyone else can.

That's probably what she thought you were doing.

Call her out, every time. Some "friend"

Incredibly rude, she made out you were deliberately ignoring her.

A lot of people seem to think not hearing means you’re stupid. Please call her out.