Ex started dating woman with abusive ex

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AIBU to make demands on my exH to make it impossible/undesirable for him to continue to date a woman with an abusive ex. Im afraid for my child if the abusive man starts a fight with my exH when my child's in his care. As far as I know this is the first love interest he's had since me and I'm angry he's picked someone with such complications.

YABVU.

Don’t be ridiculous. How do you know her ex was abusive? Do you know the extent of it? Why shouldn’t she have a new relationship now her ex is gone?

You just sound like you’re being petty because he’s moved on.

YABU

YABVU. The woman he is dating may be absolutely lovely and turn out to be a great stepmum to your DC.

Ok I can see your concern sort of. But how do you know this could happen.

Sorry but I think you do need to stay out of it, just ensure you have conversations about keeping DC safe.

I can understand your concern, but it's a bit fucking unreasonable to tell your ex who he can and can't see, just because his new girlfriend had the misfortune to have an abusive ex. Women with shitty past relationships shouldn't be deemed untouchable.

You say she's his first girlfriend since your split, so ask yourself honestly: are you genuinely worried something will happen, or are you miffed that he's moved on and you want some level of control over him?

The woman has told my exH that she had to move out because of the abuse being so bad and it affecting their, then, baby. This abusive man goes to her home to see the child so he's not really out of the picture, and she's still frightened of him. I want my exH to have nothing to do with this mess. I definitely don't want her seeing my child!!

You sound a bit jealous to be honest especially with that last comment about her not seeing your child.

Abusive men are often only abusive with women. They usually shit themselves when confronted by a man.

Unfortunately you can't do anything about it he (abusive ex) needs to go elsewhere to see his child though or is there anyway to offset weekends so he gets his kids one weekend abusive ex sees them the other?

I've told my ex I dont want his abusive girlfriend around our children he is allowing my request at the moment but when they get married I'm not sure if he will (she tried to stab him and she is a violent binge drinker)

No, you can’t “make demands” like this. Surely to god you realise that YAB so U?

Christ, you are unreasonable. My ex was abusive, twice jailed because of his abuse towards me. Never has it been an issue with my dp. Do you think the poor woman should never have a relationship? I would question why you know about her ex, why would your ex tell you? and also I would wonder why contact at her home, but not your place to raise it

You sound horrible. The woman has been a victim of abuse, and you're talking about her like she's something you trod in.

Nasty. I can't imagine why he left you.

You could be talking about my DD except her newish BF doesn't have children.

She's safeguarded her child by getting out of the relationship. She may well facilitate contact to keep her child safe (as my DD does).

Her ex may not be the type to attack other men, abusive men rarely are.

You are BU to consider women who've been in abusive relationships as untouchable, as said.

You can express concerns and have questions answered about her ex, but that's the extent of it.

She in no way poses a danger to your child.

Only abusive person I can see for certain in this story is OP

I see where your coming from but I think your being very unreasonable.

How exactly are you planning on stopping him introducing DC to this woman?

Are you aware that on his time you have no right to dictate how he behaves unless he does something which endangers the child. This woman doesnt pose a threat to the child she may be absolutely lovely and deserve a decent guy if her last guy was an asshole.
I'm afraid I agree with the pp you sound jealous.

This has to be made up

Definitely VVU. Poor woman.

Yes, of course, abused women should never date a nice man because her poor child should only be exposed to abusive men and never someone who could be a good role model.

Don't be an idiot, OP.

YABU, sorry, for the reasons already stated.

Abusers abuse out their inferiority not strength!

I doubt he’d say boo to a goose. Your ex is an adult, you can’t police his life. Trust him that he can work things out for himself and if he thinks the situation isn’t safe for him or for your ds, he’ll do something about it.

Stop being ridiculous. YABVU.

You sound vile jealous bitter woman op

I assume your DP is a good parent? Therefore he would take measures to keep his DC safe.

Just because the woman had an abusive ex doesn't mean she should be written off forever.

AIBU to make demands on my exH to make it impossible/undesirable for him to continue to date a woman with an abusive ex.

Yes OP, very very unreasonable.