Ex started dating woman with abusive ex

[nanonamechange]

AIBU to make demands on my exH to make it impossible/undesirable for him to continue to date a woman with an abusive ex. Im afraid for my child if the abusive man starts a fight with my exH when my child's in his care. As far as I know this is the first love interest he's had since me and I'm angry he's picked someone with such complications.

Did your relationship fail due to your total unreasonable behaviour OP?

Also stop all the "my" child it's not just your child!

Legally, you can't dictate what he does when he has his children. If it's a new relationship I think it's reasonable to ask that the kids don't meet for a little while but you can't stop it forever.

YANBU to want to safeguard your child.

YABU making demands and acting childish.

Your ex has been open with you when he didn't actually need to be so instead of making demands and dictating his love life why not have a grown up conversation with him.
Discuss how he will ensure your child is safe when she is in his care if the gf ex becomes aware of the relationship.

You seem to be blaming the gf and by banning her from being around your child it feels more like spite/jealousy than concern for your child's safety.
It sounds like a very new relationship so I think your concerns while valid are over the top.
Take a step back OP and ask yourself is it really concern for your DC or are you actually upset that your ex has found somebody new?

I’ve been with my partner for about 5 years. We both have children by other peopled. Our respective children have only met the others ex in passing at drop offs and pick ups in the last 6 months since we’ve lived together. And that could just as easily be avoided if it was necessary.
I understand wanting to keep your child safe. I do. But this isn’t the way to do that.

It's actually not up to you if the new partner sees your child. You can't dictate what he does with his access time. It sounds like they're taking it slow and steady anyway.

Lovely, I don't think this is about the girlfriend or the girlfriend's ex.
This is about your ex moving on.
Whether it was your decision or not, that shit is always hard, but part of the deal with breaking up is that you can never demand anything of them ever again
Sorry, but you just have to suck this one up

Her ex is the child's father - she's never going to be able to get him out of the picture completely.
She's safeguarded her own child. She won't put yours in danger.

And she's not the 'other woman' ffs