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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to take 3 week old baby out for NYE dinner?

227 replies

Imtootired · 04/11/2019 12:45

My baby is due first week in December. My friend asked if I’d like to do something NYE and I said I’d like to but not sure what I will be able to do with baby. She has found a nice restaurant in the city that has private rooms if you have over a certain amount of people and spend enough. I think she’s already got enough numbers for that so it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I do have to cancel. Obviously I have no idea how my baby will be but if everything is good I wonder if I should take a baby so young out, especially in the evening on such a busy night. There is room for the pram and we can turn the speakers in there off or down so it’s not too loud. None of our friends cause trouble or drink much at all. Although 10+ people in a room might be quite loud anyway. And my main concern is going through the city with such a small baby in a pram when it’s so crowded and there might be a lot of drunk, crazy people around. What do you think?

OP posts:
carly2803 · 04/11/2019 20:27

absolutely not.

imagine your baby being passed round in a room full of drunks?! nahhhh bad bad idea!!

give it a miss or find a baby sitter!!

Difficultcustomer · 04/11/2019 20:28

I’m not a parent so can’t comment on the practical side so coming at more from point of view of another guest.

How well do you know the other guests? Will there be other children because this would really change the type of night if there is a new born and possibly a 10 year old. Also even if you can turn the volume down in your room I’d expect it to be pretty loud with fireworks outside/party poppers etc.

Overthinker1988 · 04/11/2019 20:29

@reluctantbrit Tbh that sounds sensible and like heaven to me but then I'm quite a homebody and in winter especially I'm happy to not leave the house at all and hibernate (alas I have to work).
When I came to the UK I was quite shocked to see weeks-old babies out in busy places like malls and restaurants, and also parents allowing people other than their partner and parents to visit/handle their baby in the first month. It just isn't the done thing in my home country...I accept I'm in the UK now and things are different here but for me it would cause me too much anxiety.

HavelockVetinari · 04/11/2019 20:43

Yikes, don't do it! Drunk people wanting to hold your newborn, loud noises (even if they say speakers can be turned down doesn't mean it's true, we had to leave a venue at 4pm once when DS was tiny due to loudspeakers, it's too easy to damage a newborn's hearing). Plus you'll be very likely utterly shattered - after the first 2 weeks when babies are generally quite sleepy, DS woke every 45 mins till he was 6 months old. I know he's an extreme example but it was hell on earth. I thought I'd die from tiredness.

myolivetree · 04/11/2019 20:50

Keep your options open Op.

You might be wanting to lie on the sofa with the babe and nothing else.

Or Gagging to get out and have a break from indoors and some adult company whilst the baby snoozes .

Both feasible. You sound quite up for it. Wonder which way you'll go.

StripeyDeckchair · 04/11/2019 21:02

You will not want to go out for NYE.
What if the baby is late? You have a difficult birth? Or CS?
You'll be tired & no way will you be prepared to leave her/him with someone else, even for just a couple of hours.

meganxz · 04/11/2019 21:44

Haha. What makes you think your baby will come on their due date? Most likely unless you are know for definite because of medical reasons, you will probably go over by 2 weeks and need to be induced. Could have a few days baby on New Year's Eve lool

I wouldn't commit personally as you don't know how you will feel/what situation you will be in.

Next year will be best!

HerkyBaby · 04/11/2019 22:43

I’m feeling very concerned for your unborn baby. Totally inappropriate behaviour and parenting.

ToTheRegimentIWishIWasThere · 04/11/2019 23:10

I’m feeling very concerned for your unborn baby. Totally inappropriate behaviour and parenting.

GrinGrinGrin
It's a meal out in a restaurant not a smoke filled crack den.

TriciaH87 · 04/11/2019 23:12

I personally wouldn't. I would be thinking about what if I went the full 2 weeks over and had to have a c-section. Plus after the birth your going to be bleeding a fair bit for a good few weeks. Are you planning to breast feed? If so is their facilities and if not think about leakages as you will still be producing milk. You may be able to control that one room but not others in the vasinity and I would be cautious of drunks being touchy with a new born incase of germs. I'm not sure you would be able to let your hair down.

gnushoes · 04/11/2019 23:14

My second baby and I did a big 40th and a wedding in their first 10 days. We both had a nice time. You might feel absolutely fine - if you fancy it, why not give your friend a firm 'probably' and see how it goes? Nobody's going to kill you for crying off on the day if that's what you end up doing.

piesforever · 04/11/2019 23:42

It's fine for short periods, I took 3 week old son to my husband's 50th birthday meal in a restaurant no problem at all.

piesforever · 04/11/2019 23:43

That comment from herkybaby is hilarious, as if!

nestisflown · 04/11/2019 23:45

@HerkyBaby don't be ridiculous.

Elbowedout · 05/11/2019 01:04

I don't think I would have had the energy to go out at that stage with any of mine. Plus they all cluster fed like crazy and tended to be a bit grouchy in the evenings which is a lot easier to handle in the privacy of your own home than in a busy, noisy environment.
But everyone is different. As is clear from this thread, all mums recover differently andcall babies begave differently. It sounds like torture to me, but then I don't like NYE much at the best of times and in the early weeks I would have picked the opportunity to catch a few more minutes sleep over just about anything in the world. But I don't think you can know until very close to the time. Every birth is different and you may be raring to go. If you do, it might be worth getting a sling - something like a wrap or a ring sling, not a Baby Bjorn style thing - so you can keep baby close to you throughout the evening and s/he feels secure. If you are breastfeeding you can do it " hands free" with the right sling and a bit of practice which is handy if you are out for a meal. Just watch out for baby getting too hot.
I hope everything goes smoothly with the rest of your pregnancy and the birth and that you have a happy NYE however you spend it.

RidingMyBike · 05/11/2019 09:24

@Hugtheduggee I try to avoid social stuff or anything I don't have to do for about two days of my (ten) day periods. Luckily they don't happen that often so it's not like once a month or anything like that. I have worked out how to manage it at work, but it's just easier to avoid social stuff

SoyDora · 05/11/2019 09:26

HerkyBaby I’ve had three DC and am one of those who said I wouldn’t have done it myself, but that comment is frankly ridiculous.
It’s a meal out in a restaurant.

UhareFouxisci · 05/11/2019 09:33

I'd say yes so long as it would be OK to duck out if you just don't feel up to it on the day, or to leave early if it doesn't work out. I wouldn't take a pram - use a sling and take a popup bassinet if you think the baby might want to lie down rather than staying in the sling the whole time. I went out to a restaurant when my eldest was less than a week old and it was fine - babies don't have much concept of day and night until they are a few months old anyway and if you would enjoy seeing people and celebrating the new year with them there is no reason not to give it a go.

TellMeWhoTheVilliansAre · 05/11/2019 09:45

I think regardless of how the baby would cope, you need to consider how you will feel. A straightforward birth is still painful. You might have stitches. You mightn't be up to getting dressed up and sitting in a restaurant for a few hours, never kind making your way there and back.

I had an unplanned section on my first and for the first 2 weeks was very sore. I had a vaginal birth on my second and recovery was much longer. I had stitches, and haemorrhoids!!

I think you would be crazy to agree to it. Even if you had someone to take the baby and you go alone, I still think you would be crazy to agree to it.

Ariadnepersephonecloud · 05/11/2019 09:49

I wouldn't. I took my five day old baby to a wedding. Baby was fine, I was an exhausted, emotional mess with leaky bobs. Not ideal 😁

MollyMinniesMum · 05/11/2019 17:33

The baby isn’t born yet, you will probably feel differently when he / she is

MrsBadcrumble123 · 05/11/2019 17:41

Nope! My first son was born 28th November - we took him out for NYE meal with 20 (non parent) friends. I’m sure you’ll be fine

Taneve · 05/11/2019 17:41

I dont want to come across harsh but why become a mother if you cannot give yourself or the baby time? Hmm I'll be surprised if you know your arse from your elbow by the time the little one is 3 weeks old. Confused It is a lot of pressure and for what? to make the other members of the party feel uncomfortable? A non music NYE Party sounds ludicrous!! I could go on but I dont want to sound like Im bashing you. Just stay at Home for the sake of your little one more than anything.

threatmatrix · 05/11/2019 17:44

It seems to me you already knew deep down inside. You have made the right decision xx

Localocal · 05/11/2019 17:47

I say a resounding maybe. Tell your friend honestly that you really don't know how you will be feeling then and you can't commit now. If she is happy to let you play it by ear then you can decide on the day how you feel about it.