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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sell my nans ring(passed on to me) to fund a much needed holiday?

377 replies

happyandsingle · 04/11/2019 12:00

Basically this.Have an old diamond ring passed down from my mum it was originally my nans.
Have worn it for years but basically it only fits on one finger(that I think is meant to be the engagement finger or so I've been told) and I am most definitely single!.
It's a nice ring but my dilemma is I'm desperate for a holiday abroad next year for me and my dd.
It's been a shit couple of years and I've had one holiday in ten years paid for by my mum.
I could save but basically on my budget it would be very tight and would mean sacrificing a lot.
My idea was to pawn the ring to get the money for the holiday. I would probably feel guilty but on the other hand I'm sure if my nan was alive she would want me to make the most of it.
My AIBU is do you feel it's a bad thing to do as it was passed down to me? And will I feel guilty after?

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 05/11/2019 10:07

Thanks pp for the advice re second hand rings. Obviously I'd rather pay 300 quid than 3k! I'm not sure I'd buy a ring on ebay though as I'd need to see it, wear it etc before making the decision.

Is there a clever way to buy vintage jewellery in 'real life'?

Thornhill58 · 05/11/2019 10:18

Have it valued and make up your mind later. Ultimately do what's best for you. Worth it's determined by you. If you need a break and that would build great memories it's worth it. I don't care about jewellery. We place too much sentimental value.
My Mum lost a 100 year old 18 karat gold pendant years ago and she is still very upset about it. Sell it and concentrate on your happiness.

myolivetree · 05/11/2019 10:23

Hope things work out fo you OP. 💐
Very very interesting thread to read.

Moondancer73 · 05/11/2019 10:30

I have read your update. Also have had to sell stuff to pay bills as am a single parent and had to sell jewellery hence knowing how little you get.

Moondancer73 · 05/11/2019 10:31

Oh, and haven't had a holiday in years either. You're not the only one in the situation

Redshoesandtheblues · 05/11/2019 10:34

Can we not get skippy with each other?
Not worth it.

Redshoesandtheblues · 05/11/2019 10:34

Ffs....I am.not a kangaroo!
I meant snippy!!

MummyofTw0 · 05/11/2019 10:43

You'll regret it

Woodlandwitch · 05/11/2019 11:11

PP - RTFT

Chloe84 · 05/11/2019 11:14

I’m happy to get skippy!

BlouseAndSkirt · 05/11/2019 11:25

it is my only link to my nan and I know that near the end of her life she did mention me a lot which surprised me as we were not particularly close. She was German and survived a lot of hardship during the war so there is history behind the ring

@happyandsingle This sounds so strong: as if you are valuing yourself and you know your Nan treasured you. I hope the ring reminds you of your Nan’s strength in hardship and gives comfort and strength through your own battles.

And one way or another I hope you get your break.

yellowallpaper · 05/11/2019 11:34

It depends on how much the ring meant to your mother and grandmother. If it was a special memento and meant a lot to your mum then I wouldn't sell it. I'd feel forever guilty that i had lost a precious memory cherished by my mother. If it wasn't of great sentimental value then I would get it valued and sell it if the value made it worthwhile.

Ellisandra · 05/11/2019 12:00

I think you’re getting hung up on going away - especially to the extent of getting into debt on a credit card for it.

In 16 years as a child, I went “away” on 4 holidays - in every case it was a trip in the UK to a relative, and we just explored the area locally, doing things that were free, or low cost - a trip to the swimming pool, for example. It was easier not to feel deprived then, as even more wealthy friends weren’t frequently jetting off abroad. People didn’t as much, then. But some were. Those UK trips still have some memories for me. And actually, my best memories of fun WITH my parents aren’t those holidays - they are time spent together just at home/locally. My dad and I used to plan a walk that would go past an old church (there were lots in my area) and explore them. That’s probably my single clearest and nicest memory of time with my dad.

Be wary of putting all your hopes and reward for not having had a break in years onto a single holiday. If it doesn’t live up to expectations, you may be upset to be left with the debt rather than the happy memory.

Personally I’d sell the ring (I know you’ve made your decision) but I’d think twice about the holiday and the credit card.

LadyB49 · 05/11/2019 23:15

Last year I was selling off old unwanted gold jewellery. It was the going price for gold.
At the same time I had my engagement ring from a first marriage. It was a beautiful ring but with bad memories and I hadn't worn it for many years. It had a valuation of £1200 for insurance.

The pawn broker offered me £50 for it which I didn't accept.

Don't expect too much.

Original poster
happyandsingle · 05/11/2019 23:18

Lady B49 I'm not selling it now! Cant believe this thread is still going wow.

OP posts:
Original poster
happyandsingle · 05/11/2019 23:24

And even if the holiday is shit it will be a brand new shit in a different location so win win.

OP posts:
dreichwinter · 05/11/2019 23:30

OP just wanted to add that I only had a couple of holidays growing up, both in the UK.
Loved them both!

JaceLancs · 05/11/2019 23:41

Not in response to OP as understand that decision has been to keep the ring
Q raised re value of second hand jewellery especially antiques - the value is based on what people are willing to pay! Over and above the intrinsic value of the gold itself (varies widely over periods of time) stones have to be high quality to keep their value
Jewellers and dealers will offer as little as possible when buying and obviously try and sell for as much as possible (I have been an antiques dealer and dabble a bit now)
New jewellery especially on the high St is over priced and devalues instantly - even worse than vehicles!
I buy pieces for myself at rock bottom and when I get bored with them sell them on online - I usually make a profit occasionally break even
If you buy right you’ll never make a loss

Slinkymalinky1 · 06/11/2019 00:52

I know you've decided not to sell it now. When I first read your post my first thought was, awww no, keep it, it's a nice thing to have. But after thinking about it, nice things to have aren't the be all and end all. The ring doesn't fit, so you can't even enjoy it. You have the memories of your gran and now it's time to 'make memories' (sorry) with your daughter. If I was your gran looking down, I'd absolutely want you to be enjoying a holiday with my great granddaughter, rather than see a piece of metal being kept in a drawer for 'sentimental' value.
I'd be thinking I've had my good times, possessions are just things!
It'd be lovely if we were all able to afford nice things, whilst sitting on possessions that were sentimental, but if I was your gran I'd be gutted you going into dept for a holiday if you didn't have to.
There's some good advice on the thread about getting the best price, so if you do decide to go ahead, take that advice, rather than just heading to a pawn shop.

titnomatani · 06/11/2019 01:08

Some photos would be nice OP and those of you who have had jewellery passed down (because I'm nosy).

PanchoBarnes · 06/11/2019 01:54

@happyandsingle
And even if the holiday is shit it will be a brand new shit in a different location so win win.

This is one of the best retorts I've read on aibu. Grin Gin 🏆

HUZZAH212 · 06/11/2019 04:26

I'd definitely not put it on the dreaded credit card. I've actually found it works out better to pop into a couple of highstreet travel agents and state this is my budget, this is my maximum monthly payments and see what they can price match. If you work and can top up a bit extra via overtime a few months they're happy for you to pay extra than the set installments. I personally rate cheap all inclusive deals vs say centre parks, as you know your cash limit and there's no hidden extras (especially with kids). Nothing wrong with lower stars either if you're just looking for a bit of sun, sea, sand. It's essentially a base that you build your break around.

HUZZAH212 · 06/11/2019 04:40

Another option is a coach holiday in the UK (not necessarily your first choice), but the deals are generally very good. I'd personally start a new thread with your DC age, and maximum budget for some prices and inspiration. There's a lot of savvy savings to be had so maybe don't feel like it's too much out of your reach.

0thers1de0fthew0rld · 06/11/2019 04:54

The cheapest I've found is Megabus , I travelled London to Glasgow return over night for £6.50, I booked 3+ months in advance, they go to Europe too

0thers1de0fthew0rld · 06/11/2019 05:00

Nobody at a funeral says they loved the stuff they owned !

They talk about the time they spent with their family, friends

They talk about their adventures, holidays

I inherited a piece of jewellery, from a relative, that I didn't know well. I sold it & bought a passport. I've since travelled to lots of places & enjoyed myself