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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To sell my nans ring(passed on to me) to fund a much needed holiday?

377 replies

happyandsingle · 04/11/2019 12:00

Basically this.Have an old diamond ring passed down from my mum it was originally my nans.
Have worn it for years but basically it only fits on one finger(that I think is meant to be the engagement finger or so I've been told) and I am most definitely single!.
It's a nice ring but my dilemma is I'm desperate for a holiday abroad next year for me and my dd.
It's been a shit couple of years and I've had one holiday in ten years paid for by my mum.
I could save but basically on my budget it would be very tight and would mean sacrificing a lot.
My idea was to pawn the ring to get the money for the holiday. I would probably feel guilty but on the other hand I'm sure if my nan was alive she would want me to make the most of it.
My AIBU is do you feel it's a bad thing to do as it was passed down to me? And will I feel guilty after?

OP posts:

firstimemamma · 04/11/2019 17:19

Why don't you get it valued and then decide?

I had an expensive necklace and wanted to sell it on less than 2 years after I'd received it. Couldn't even get £100 for it.

There isn't any need to sarcastically call people on this thread experts, we're just trying to offer advice based on our own personal experiences. Maybe you'll have more luck with your ring and then you can balance up your options and reach a decision.

Lineintime · 04/11/2019 17:19

You only live once, this isn’t a rehearsal and you have mentioned depression in a post, OP.

It’s a well-known fact to those that care enough to see it that money (lack of it) and depression are linked.

If selling the ring (for as much as you can get for it by doing your research) and using the funds would benefit your mental and emotional welfare for the ‘here and now’, this needs to be considered as much as for your child as for you.

Time and mental health are critically important.

If your Nan was here, what would she be saying?

Only YOU know the true answer.

ssd · 04/11/2019 17:29

Sell it and enjoy your holiday.

Benjispruce · 04/11/2019 17:34

I have two daughters and I will leave my jewellery to them. I would hope that they either enjoy it/wear it or sell it if they ever needed the money. The thought of them not selling it through feeling guilty with some misplaced sense of duty makes me sad.

AndWhat · 04/11/2019 17:45

I sold some old pieces of gold in the last few weeks of mat leave. I was struggling after spending most of our savings.
I didn’t wear the pieces, have 2ds and the people I inherited from are long gone wel before my DS time. It seemed daft to have something I could get a few hundred for these (useless to me) items when I could put food in my kids mouths or clothe them with the cash.

shinynewapple · 04/11/2019 18:06

OP I would start off by getting a few valuations on the ring to see what it's worth.

I think where people are saying to keep it back for an emergency, don't waste on a holiday, in your case a holiday probably is, if not an actual emergency, is something that you and your DD are both seriously in need of. And what a lot of posters don't get is that a cheap package holiday is a trip of a lifetime if you've got no money.

I see so many threads on here about 'more experiences, less stuff ' and really you don't need the ring to remember your nan.

JumpiestBat · 04/11/2019 18:16

On a tangent if you have old gold chain necklaces/earrings you don't use and don't have a sentimental attachment to, bag it up and sell it online, plenty of gold dealers out there. I sold a few chains and one lone bobbly earring and got a tidy sum of about £100 by weight which was very helpful at the time.

I think posters are pessimistic about the value as many people have been in the position of being told granny's ring was a real heirloom, the stuff of family myth and legend and actually most just aren't and when you do get an insurance value it's less than you just spent on the children's afterschool club for the month OK that's just me. The OP knows what kind of ring it is, it could be a real windfall piece to make a difference to her life here and now.

I do want to see the ring too, I love a good sparkler.

kenandbarbie · 04/11/2019 18:22

No. I'm horrified you'd even think of it. I had all my sentimental jewellery stolen in a burglary. I was devasted, links to family are irreplaceable.

JumpiestBat · 04/11/2019 18:24

kenandbarbie But this isn't a sentimental piece for the OP. If it was I doubt she'd be thinking about it. If the absence of the piece would cause pain obviously she wouldn't have considered doing it. This isn't a reluctant decision to sell the family silver, it's a pragmatic transaction to help life be that bit easier.

myolivetree · 04/11/2019 18:32

@kenandbarbie
Sorry that you were burgled. That is awful. Those items must have meant a lot to you.

As it stands this ring doesn't mean a great deal to OP and the experiences she has with her 12 year old will be irreplaceable. So not like your special items.

Witchinaditch · 04/11/2019 18:36

I’d never do it but luckily I’m not in a position where I may be forced to, I would assume if you had another choice you wouldn’t do it? But I would hope you don’t live to regret it once the holiday is over and the ring is gone. Also as a side thought it’s a lot of pressure for the holiday as you will have sacrificed a lot so it has to be worth it. ultimately OP it is up to you only you know what you can and can’t live with.

StarlingsInSummer · 04/11/2019 18:37

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you selling it, even for a holiday that will be over and done with after 2 weeks in the sun. I’d just be prepared to get less than you think it’s worth.

EggysMom · 04/11/2019 18:47

If it were me, I'd sell it. As others have posted, what's the point in having old jewellery sat in a box in the wardrobe that you'll never wear? Simply to pass down to another generation who never even knew the person or, if they did briefly, certainly wouldn't associate the item of jewellery with that person. Sentimentality doesn't pay bills, and memories are more important than things.

cloudnews · 04/11/2019 19:02

I would get it valued at a reputable jewellers then either sell it or pawn it. I am in the same situation with a gold watch my grandfather gave me, I popped in adhoc to a jewellers when I was in the city centre and they told me they'd give me a price for scrap so I didn't even take it out of my bag! But I have now found a jewellers which specialises in the item and will get it valued and take it from there. Good luck xx

friendlyflicka · 04/11/2019 19:12

I see nothing wrong with selling jewellery to fund something if you have no sentimental attachment and don't seem to really think it is pretty. I love jewellery and have got quite a few rings resized. No, right or wrong. Just whether it works out financially and is what you want to do.

TheWildOnesNeverDie · 04/11/2019 19:19

Holiday = memories with your daughter, something to enjoy and look back on.

A ring = a fuckin ring.

Sell it !

thefraggleontherock · 04/11/2019 19:26

I would take it to a jewellers and get them to value it and sell it on your behalf. Theyll be able to say whether it's best to sell the ring or if you would get more for the stones. They will take commission but you will get a better price than pawning it.

As for your AIBU, not at all, sounds like you really need a break, I'm sure your nan would rather you and Dd had much needed holiday and the chance to make memories than hold on to a ring you can't really wear.

Geppili · 04/11/2019 21:49

Can you post a picture, Op? I'd do it after some research. Memories with your young DD are priceless.

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 04/11/2019 22:19

Whether she sells or not, OP doesn’t need a holiday for memories. Happy moments aren’t necessarily holiday born.

katewhinesalot · 05/11/2019 00:35

The op feels she needs a holiday to combat a shitty year. Who are you to tell her she doesn't?

2018SoFarSoGreat · 05/11/2019 01:27

OP I was going to post saying 'please don't sell. You will regret it.' Then I read the whole thread. I changed my mind. Sell it - but for the best price you can get, check around! - and go have that holiday. You deserve it, and the memory of that will be worth more to you and your DD than something sitting in a drawer.

I wish you luck. You sound like you really need some R&R

earsup · 05/11/2019 02:27

I used to work in jewellery industry. Mark up on new can be 800% !!... diamonds are generally worthless unless a big stone and v high grade...99% of stone are average grade. Buy a ruby or emerald as much rarer than diamonds... diamond price kept artificially high by Debeers and cartels. If ring is 18ct and heavy then sell it and use the cash. eBay gets better price than shops etc. I would never buy new diamond jewellery..it's a big con !!

0thers1de0fthew0rld · 05/11/2019 02:30

You can get old jewellery melted down & made into new jewellery that is more to your taste or made into several new items

Look on Etsy or local crafts people

Kb12 · 05/11/2019 02:38

Following

Rainatnight · 05/11/2019 02:45

In your position, I think I’d sell it. You sound like you really need a holiday. I think all the banging on about heirlooms and future generations is a luxury for people who’ve never known what it’s like to be on their knees.

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