Clothing teens.. who pays?

[AwkwardFucker]

My teenager is sending me broke.. no one tells you this shit when you’re planning a baby.

We gave her 200 a couple of months ago to buy some clothes as she said she “had none”. She spent 100 on ONE item of brand name clothing and a couple of other bits and pieces. We refused to give her more.

She’s just asked for 300 for more clothes because she once again “has none”. She has more clothes than the rest of the family put together.

I’m obviously happy to clothe her as needed, and buy the expensive brand name stuff for Xmas/birthday etc, but I can’t afford to keep handing her a stack of cash because she doesn’t like her current clothes anymore.

I’ve suggested a part time job, but she hasn’t bothered to look or do anything about it.

Apparently wearing last seasons clothes will make her a social leper. Am I meant to just keep coughing up to keep her in the latest fashions?

Not trying to be goady, but I’m curious about those giving me a bollocking for giving her 200 for clothes - how is that worse than those who give their kids 100 per month or 80 per month or whatever? DD does not get an allowance, we tend to just buy her what she needs. Going by some of these responses, she gets far less than a lot of kids.
She is not getting another 300, because she doesn’t need anymore clothes right now. She can wait til Xmas for stuff she wants.

I had a part time job from when I was about 13, paid for all my own clothes, toiletries, everything.

Surely there’s a middle ground here, between buying her everything she wants and making her pay for her own toiletries. I would never make my kids pay for their own toiletries. They’re a necessity, no?

My dd's £80 per month (£20 per week) has to cover clothes, books (she is a bookworm and likes to read around her subjects) and dancewear/equipment (ballet shoes and tights wear out quickly when you are dancing every day). I do also give her an allowance for toiletries of £5 per week. The basics are provided at home or her lodgings now she is at college (toothpaste, Simple Soap, Neutrogena shampoo and Dove/Sanex shower gel etc) but she likes to buy things like bubblegum shower gel, make up, fancy cleansers etc

Ds on the other hand is quite content to use the basic soap and all in one hair/body wash that dh also uses (whichever is cheapest in Home Bargains.

For my almost 16yo i buy basics, then he saves up if he want anything more fancy, like a Superdry coat.
But thank goodness for Extinction Rebellion, expensive branded items are no longer much desired

@AwkwardFucker because you aren't teaching her the value of money or budgeting which are all life skills .. she demonstrates she doesn't know how long it would take a 16 year old to earn £300 by demanding it like it's nothing ...
the two ways of giving teens money are poles apart !

because you aren't teaching her the value of money or budgeting which are all life skills .. she demonstrates she doesn't know how long it would take a 16 year old to earn £300 by demanding it like it's nothing

Yeah I got that, but are those who get 300 allowance over 3 months doing X amount of hours of work (I can’t remember what it was) or is it only expected for a lump sum?

I’m quite sure my way probably isn’t quite right, so like I said, I’m looking at a way to make it better, I just don’t see how it’s all that different. 🤷‍♀️ She still had to budget her lump sum and chose to spend a ridiculous amount on one item of clothing, that’s on her.

She can “demand” all she likes, doesn’t mean she’s getting it. The use of the word demand is interesting though. Where did you come up with that? My OP said she asked. I’m sure many teens ask for ridiculous things all the time.

I have 3 teens
Dd17 has just started a part time job so buys her own clothing.
Ds17 goes to college and has a weekend job so I buy him what he needs and he buys what he wants.
Dd15 is richer than me she's a saver and is the only one out of the 3 who speaks to her dad so he spoils her. I buy what she needs and she gets £10 week pocket money.

15! I assumed 18. I am totally sickened that she spent £100 on a jumper and you let her and now is asking for more. This is crazy. If her friends are as judgemental as that she needs new friends and someone to tell her this attitude is not ok. I would have returned the jumper.

I would work out a basic highstreet price of what she needs, minus some for savvy sale shopping/eBay prices/charity shopping. That is her clothing budget and if she wants more she can sell her old clothes on eBay/Depop, put things on her birthday/Christmas list and start looking for jobs. She will be able to get a job much more easily at 16. Right now, when Christmas is imminent I'd have her sell the jumper if she wants to wear something else outside of school.

I think it's important to try and reach kids to find joy in charity shop shopping before it gets to this stage. Probably a list cause for you now, but you could try vintage markets to move her away from obscenely prices brands and into searching for a bargain.

With her lump sum- is that just clothing? So she could spend £100 on one top but you still give money for socialising, travel, mobile phone bill? Because that’s not teaching budgeting.

With regards to my allowance (CB payment) was dependent on me doing chores such as doing one to two loads of washing for the family (including hanging it up to dry and folding back up) a week, hoovering once a week, keeping room tidy, helping with cooking weekly, bathroom cleaning etc. I was never just given it. If I spent it in the first week then I had no other money for the rest of the month and I still did my chores

mine arent teenagers yet - i have 3 agesd between 9-12
luckily none of them are into brands and i just buy them clothes as and when they need them.
I think as they get older and possibly more picky I will still buy them a basic wardrobe - eg ensure they have anough suitable clothing from normal highstreet/supermarket stores and then if they want label items they will need to buy these themselves or ask for as presents

I wrote virtually the same post last week
Feel your pain!

Oh Christ I just realised I’m going to be a drip feeding asshole.

My amounts are in AUD. So halve it (I think?).

My mum always gave me a monthly allowance as a teenager. This included pocket money, money for going out with friends and money to buy clothes with. I worked from a young age - paperounds, then working in cafes from age 14 so I had some extra money for clothes and socialising. There's no way my mum would have just handed out hundreds of pounds at a time.

With her lump sum- is that just clothing? So she could spend £100 on one top but you still give money for socialising, travel, mobile phone bill? Because that’s not teaching budgeting.

Yes the lump sum is for clothes. We pay her phone bill in exchange for her doing the dishes every day, 76 per month. She doesn’t really spend much money on travel, maybe a fiver for the bus once a month or so. All her friends live around here so it’s no harm to drive her. Outings are generally just hanging out at her friends houses, or the beach. They don’t actually really do anything that costs money.

Its quite naive of a parent to give a lump sum to a teenager and expect them to do a sensible shopping.

I wouldn't keep coughing up. You won't be going her future adult self any favours!

DD (almost 12) gets a tenner a week. This covers tuck (usually treats herself to something for £1 on Friday), gifts for friends, clothes and anything else she wants. She goes to private school but accepts we don't have as much money as some of her friends and is happy with Primark/similar. She gets extra clothes/money at Xmas and birthdays.

We set her up with a budget on the software/app we use (YNAB) for her to track anything. We also started her saving quite young, I want her to be in the habit of saving every month before spending on anything else. She often doesn't spend everything every month so some accumulates and if one category dimishes she will have to take from another, just like adults do when they prioritise their spending.

@AwkwardFucker mine get £20 a month into their bank for ad hoc stuff or trips to the high St. Both spend it on junk so are not ready for more. I'll reevaluate as they start thinking about what they're spending

Clothes we buy as and when they're needed as still growing here. I don't really set a budget. I've always spent more on shoes/trainers and coats as nothing worse than sore feet or being cold. The rest it's middle ground. I couldn't put £100 a month in any school age DC account that's 1200 a year and too much once you add in bday and Xmas.

My DD is 15. I buy pyjamas, underwear, basic jeans/shorts/t-shirts (H&M usually), coat, trainers/sandals as they are needed (also deodorant, shampoo etc, and pens/notebooks for school), then she has £50 monthly pocket money to spend on extras/crap from New Look, enough stationery to open a shop, lunch out with friends etc.

If she wants £££ stuff, she can ask for it for Xmas/birthday or save up her birthday money etc. Occasionally I might treat her something 'just because', but she'd never expect it.

My amounts are in AUD. So halve it (I think?).

Haha, OP, shame on us for assuming.

If I wanted anything expensive I’d either get it for birthdays or Christmas or pay for it myself (has a job from 13 )
We bought ds the odd thing and expensive stuff for gifts like my parents used to and anything he wanted he’d buy himself (Saturday job) but we’d buy his toiletries

Oh AUD so approx £50 for a jumper it's expensive but not so bad that's a superdry hoody here and I don't know if it's got better there but 15yrs ago I lived there for a while and clothing was way more expensive than here

Haha

It's not really shame on posters on a UK site for assuming £

I live in a € country so specify usually - it's fairly obvious that MN is a UK site and people will think in £ - though nowadays there's almost no difference between £ and € ...

She needs to buy budget basics, shop eBay for branded stuff second hand, vintage (aka charity shop) and high street for an occasional off the peg item. If she hasn't tried getting a job, she's not that bothered.

Op did it on purpose, hence the username

DS1 is nearly 16 and loves his clothes. I buy him plenty - which includes primark jeans, ASOS T-shirt's etc. He likes all things designer ( including underwear), which is fine, but unless he's done something to deserve it I expect a contribution towards it.

He tends to only request clothing for birthday / Christmas so he does quite well then with designer items, so doesn't have much of a need for much else over the year ( in my opinion!!)

I'm reading through the posts and honestly don't understand how children get £10 per week and are expected to get clothes/toiletries/stationery/socialising/anything else. That's £40 per month on all those things.

I'm thinking if I was a teenager now, 2/10's of that would be spent on a return ticket into town, leaving me with £8 to wander round the shops with...I don't get how it's doable at all. And then that £8 has to last me all week, never mind my trip into town!