Clothing teens.. who pays?

[AwkwardFucker]

My teenager is sending me broke.. no one tells you this shit when you’re planning a baby.

We gave her 200 a couple of months ago to buy some clothes as she said she “had none”. She spent 100 on ONE item of brand name clothing and a couple of other bits and pieces. We refused to give her more.

She’s just asked for 300 for more clothes because she once again “has none”. She has more clothes than the rest of the family put together.

I’m obviously happy to clothe her as needed, and buy the expensive brand name stuff for Xmas/birthday etc, but I can’t afford to keep handing her a stack of cash because she doesn’t like her current clothes anymore.

I’ve suggested a part time job, but she hasn’t bothered to look or do anything about it.

Apparently wearing last seasons clothes will make her a social leper. Am I meant to just keep coughing up to keep her in the latest fashions?

My 15yo DS gets £40 a month but tends to rake it in at birthdays, Christmas & Easter. He has completely unrealistic expectations of what I can afford to spend on his clothes. I buy him the basics, these include Calvin Klein pants btw. I will not spend over £50 on an item for him but I will contribute this if he makes up the rest eg Comme de Garcons Converse. He's growing like a weed and I am firm that I'm not buying £100+ trainers ever month etc.

He buys and sells on Depop which has worked pretty well for him to support his clothing habit as he goes off things really quickly

Encourage her to resell either on a site like depop or to do car boots

to give an example on resale; last week he was pressing me to buy him a sweatshirt for £80 because some of his birthday money hadn't cleared in to his bank. I refused. A sweatshirt he'd bought online then arrived the next day and he didn't like it. 40 mins later he'd sold it on Depop for double what he'd paid for it. (don't ask me how that works.......)

The allowance is a good idea. For those saying she should get a job - that's harder at 15 before you have a National Insurance number e.g. no big retailers would have you for insurance reasons.

hmmm, I’m 25 now but at 15 my mum would take my shopping to primary / new look as she knew I would quickly get bored of them and appreciates fashion changes. She could get a whole new wardrobe with £300 in primary

My ds and my younger sibling ( 16yrs) get their child benefit each month for clothes..
If they want more expensive then that's a treat or a gift.
Necessities I pay on top.. Socks boxers pjs etc

DD15 gets £100 a month that has to pay for all stationery toiletries, san pro, and coffee/eating out/cinema as well as clothes (other than school uniform). We pay for her phone and her travel card. She also makes a reasonable amount on the side babysitting/helping out at parties etc.

DD17 gets £150 a month as she can't do odd jobs on the side but has to pay for books etc as well.

I normally pay but DD is a pre-teenie.
She is now in the phase where she wants to get clothes by her own taste and she's influenced by the TV series etc.
200 and 300 is crazy money. We just went to a shop yesterday and picked up some stuff she is going to get for Christmas and that's it. She got so much already and she knows it, especially as she's spending most of the time in her uniform anyway - or outside, with her friends, where it's muddy and she likes to play soccer too.

Tell her to get on depop.

We paid up to the age of 16 but that involved me deciding what they needed. Anything above that they paid for. By saving up birthday, Christmas and pocket money or earning it.

At 16 they got £100 per month to cover everything except school uniform, school supplies, phone (limited) and any extraordinary clothing such as a wedding, etc.

That way they learn to budget and understand the value of money.

We pay but he doesn’t care about brands or newest tg

I’d set a budget and sit down together and make a list of minimum purchases that the budget must cover. That way you can make sure she has enough functional clothing. If she wants fancier items, she can add her own money or ask for gifts.

my eldest are 17 and 15 - they get £50 a month (minus their phone top up) for basics, I buy all school related stuff, DD1 has a job that pays for clothes and I buy stuff for Birthdays and Christmas

I also buy their sports kit,

Oh I also take them shopping pre summer holidays - they get about £100 for essentials - normally spent in Primark

Monthly allowance is a great idea! I have started one when my DD13 started secondary school to her bank account took her a while to learn to budget /get used to card transactions taking a couple of days to clear etc but she is doing well. I give her £30 a month to cover non-school clothes, her close friend pressies & socialising as she does love shopping for make up, skincare/masks, clothes usually from New Look, H&M and Primark... She do love some branded sports wear/trainers and expensive make up occasionally & usually by birthday/xmas gifts. I cover school uniform, coat, bras, supermarket toiletries (that we all share anyway) and her mobile SIM monthly. I occasionally top up for special occasions/summer hols such as swimwear. She is now telling me about this deport selling which sounds like a good idea. She is trying to get some babysitting now she is nearly 14, and wants to save a bit more now when she usually spend the monthly allowance quickly! She do know she can't ask for more money as we can't afford more. Good luck with your DD

Jee can you adopt me? So I can spend that on clothes 😂

I think she’s taking the piss, how old is she?

If she wants name brand suggest ebay etc

Also show her documentaries on these fashion houses that use child labour!

I do think teens and young adults these days (IME these days) are turning away from cheap, disposable fast fashion and liking vintage/secondhand etc (depop does seem to be a recurring theme, I'm a dinosaur so can just cope with eBay )

I also think the initial investment in higher quality items is worth it if they have a good resale value. It's a good way of satisfying the eternal "I want new things" and making them realise the value/quality of items, and what they really appreciate.

I definitely feel very dinosaur-y at the moment as I keep clothes that I like forever, and my DDs are wearing all my 90's stuff, tiny crop tops and fake fur coats etc! Hopefully not taking as many drugs

They do like to buy stuff from ASOS/PLT/Boohoo as well though, of course!

Ahhh I do get how hard it is when you see her friends parents spending a lot and buying the ‘latest’ items. The allowance idea is a great one and she will thank you for it when she can budget. You can teach her to be savvy on items, eg I tag items I love and get notified as soon as they go into the sale etc. Look for 30% off etc.

@ghostyslovesheets - yep, Primark is my choice or Zara for something nicer. DD grew about two sizes in dresses and 3 sizes in shoes this year only, buying anything that's brand is like throwing money out of the window. She was in size 2 shoes in spring, she's 4 now and still growing.

My son got a Saturday job at 15 and would buy most of his stuff (not school clothes). I still gave him a bit - eg £20 for trainers/jeans. If he wanted more expensive ones he had to pay the difference.

I have 2 teenagers, one is waaaaay more interested in clothes than the other.

I try to get in front of it by identifying the essence of what it is that they're interested in and find it on Ebay. I like clothes and really sympathise with a teenage desire to look good so this is pretty easy for me to do.

Obviously, more difficult when it's something that I can't bear e.g. overpriced hoodies but they also love cashmere jumpers & slim-cut button downs - I pick those up second-hand from Uniqlo on Ebay for £30 and downwards.

£500 would be a huge sum for me to spend on them, I think I'd perhaps spend this in a year excluding big-ticket things like sports jackets or coats.

Mine are boys so I think it's a bit easier.

TBH I think 15 is too young to be making sensible decisions about clothing.

If I had left my 15 yo DD to her own devices with a budget she would have been coming home with pretty summer dresses in September

I would advise engaing a little more with her.

Decide in advance and write down the stuff she needs/has grown out of.
So say jeans/boots/t shirts/ pretty top for a party/underwear etc.

Decide a budget and then plan a fun day out- including posh coffee/lunch - teens need to be taught how to focus on stuff they need and stick to a budget.

Mine don’t do brands so I just buy two bulk lots a year to match the seasons and anything else that’s needed in between. They don’t use their pocket money for clothes and rarely get clothing as gifts other than odd novelty T-shirt etc.

I get my DC basics. We still shop together for most of them. They pay for designer wear. Sometimes I give them a bidget and let them spend it how they want but I insist that they come back with complete outfits not just one designer item. Other times (more often) I just choose clothes with them and then they save up birthday money to buy eye-wateringly expensive designer stuff.

But I've taught them that it's absolutley fine to mix designer with Primark or Uniqlo and now they are wise to this and but all the basics from cheaper high street shops.

I think it's important that they don't get the impression that you're minimising their interests. I try very hard not to roll my eyes at a lot of the stuff that my feckless 13 year old wants.

I just cluck sympathetically and encourage him to think about his overall budget and how this will fit into it.

I'd give her an allowance for clothes and luxuries each month. If she goes over that, it's tough shit. It's up to her to manage the money and either get one ridiculously expensive top or 30 from Primark (an extreme example, but you know what I mean).

When I was that age, my mum started giving me my share of the family allowance, which I remember being £80. That was for clothes and any trips out I wanted. She still paid for everything in the house like bills and food etc and family trips out. It was also for my college lunches - if I couldn't be bothered making a packed lunch with the ingredients she'd bought. It was always my choice.

I had a paper round too though which brought in an extra £100 a month. She cannot just keep demanding hundreds of pounds from you.