Clothing teens.. who pays?

[AwkwardFucker]

My teenager is sending me broke.. no one tells you this shit when you’re planning a baby.

We gave her 200 a couple of months ago to buy some clothes as she said she “had none”. She spent 100 on ONE item of brand name clothing and a couple of other bits and pieces. We refused to give her more.

She’s just asked for 300 for more clothes because she once again “has none”. She has more clothes than the rest of the family put together.

I’m obviously happy to clothe her as needed, and buy the expensive brand name stuff for Xmas/birthday etc, but I can’t afford to keep handing her a stack of cash because she doesn’t like her current clothes anymore.

I’ve suggested a part time job, but she hasn’t bothered to look or do anything about it.

Apparently wearing last seasons clothes will make her a social leper. Am I meant to just keep coughing up to keep her in the latest fashions?

I am currently having this debate with DD/DH. Dd (13) currently doesnt have pocket money or an allowance but we give her money "as and when". However half term has proved pretty expensive and while she us not spending £100s because we haven't got £100s to give her , she seems to be obliged to spend whatever we give her and doesn't always have a lot to show for it.

I suggested we should give her a monthly allowance, DH is less keen because "she'll probably blow the whole lot on day 1". I imagine there is some truth in it but i feel like it is a lesson in budgeting. Obviously we would still buy essentials and schol uniform.

Birthdays xmas, ask family to give her money if her tastes are expensive. Get her to sort out and E Bay the out of date clothing.

Opening a shop on Depop is a great idea... to buy AND sell. The whole site is thronging with teenagers - all very resourceful. It’s very easy to get started too. I also think you should introduce her to the joys of vintage and charity shops. My DD is only 7 but she gets taken in regularly and we have all benefited from some absolute great brands at bargain prices ( DD included). If you’re looking for inspiration there are plenty of influencers ( boak) on You Tube and Instagram showing videos in how to thrift etc.

DS sells on this site as do friends.

www.theguardian.com/fashion/2017/oct/23/teens-selling-online-depop-ebay

£200 is more than ample to buy an entire wardrobe out of Primark.

Not suggesting your teen should be limited to the cheapest of the cheap, but at the same time if she chooses ridiculously expensive then she will have to make do with fewer clothes or earn her own money to pay for them. What you gave her was already generous.

Buy her general clothes she needs but if she wants extra or big brands make her get a job or she gets nothing.

Ds19 is happy to wear a black bag- he seriously doesn’t care about brands etc sees them as a waste, and likes smart and practice. So me and exdp just pick up bits when we see things.

Ds14 likes hype, north face etc. But I refuse to spent £70 on a hoodie etc: so I buy a lot from eBay as and when I see it, and he is happy with with this, so win it’s win. I think he’s only actually ever asked for 2 items of clothing, that wear £80-£120 but he did request them as a Christmas gift.

Sorry OP but your dd sounds really spoilt.

My DS (nearly 20) is meh with clothes , I drag him out twice a year for shoes and jeans and even then I feel he'd rather be anywhere else .
Everything else I buy for him, I know what he'll wear/won't wear . Otherwise the little swine would roll about in a TShirt he had when he was 14 !

DD (17) is polar opposite and loves her clothes .
I buy her shoes,jeans,coats.
She likes Office , TopShop and Urban Outfitters (so not designer but not Primark)

She buys tops and jumpers from Primark and PrettyLittleThings ( her own account)

One pair of TopShop Joni will last her far longer than three Primark jeans.
For my DD I'd rather buy her one £££ she'd wear than three £ that she ignores .

Get your DD to sort her clothes out and maybe list on eBay , you might get some cash back?

We buy my 14 yo dd's clothes- not branded. If she wants something more expensive (usually band hoodies etc) then she puts them on her Christmas/burthday list or saves up for them.

*birthday (stupid fat fingers!)

I think it's more like you're sending yourself broke...you don't HAVE to give her such sums.

Buy her the basics, give her an affordable allowance and if she wants more on top of that she can look for a job or buy/sell on depop etc.

Take her shopping to buy clothes... she isn't allowed anything stupidly expensive because she's not rich.

She needs to learn to budget. You could give her X amount for the next 6 months and if she blows it all... well she gets no more then.

@Milicentbystander72 converse are not designer... they're just normal shoes

Talk to her about sustainability too.. fast fashion should be discouraged

My daughter is 13. I buy her underwear and clothes she needs. If she doesn’t really need just wants, she buys herself.

How does a 13 year old buy her own clothes? Does she have an allowance or is this birthday / Christmas money situation ? I don’t think any kid should get what they want all the time but I’m looking forward to going shopping with my DD for clothes - if she happens to be interested in that kind of thing.

Oh my God OP I feel the same! ROBBED on a weekly basis I am. There's nothing left for me...I feel guilty if I don't cough up because when I was young, I had nothing.

@LemonPrism Converse can be really expensive, up there with the £130 Nike/Adidas trainers. Especially if you want the Converse x Supreme or Converse x Comme des Garcons versions. I've got pairs of Converse that are £55 for the standard white low ones, to £75 for a special edition mustard colour - but I know as soon as you get the crossover you're hitting big money.

This thread really makes me wish I had depop when I was a teenager!

Charity shops.

My kids haven’t reached this age yet. But as a teen I had my school clothes and basic necessary clothes bought for me. Then I’d get money or vouchers at Christmas & birthday for other stuff as well as money from a Saturday job and babysitting.

Occasionally if I really really liked something my parents would treat me to it. But I think they didn’t mind as it was pretty rare that I asked.

I plan on a similar approach with my kids but who knows how it will work.

LemonPrism Converse come into the "pay for the name" category most certainly - at least twice the price (often triple the price) of pretty much identical canvas shoes. The price is the only argument against them being fast fashion too surely...

The way you’re handling this is setting her up to struggle with finances once she independent.

This with bells on.

I had a part time job from when I was about 13, paid for all my own clothes, toiletries, everything. Parents only used to buy my school shoes. Meant I actually valued the money I earned and thought about how I was spending it.

She should get a job, or at least have a strict budget and learn to stick to it.

Also agree with pp about fashion and textile waste - aren't young people generally more up on environmental issues these days?! Perhaps have a discussion with her about all that!

Am I meant to just keep coughing up to keep her in the latest fashions?

Good God NO!

Put your bloody foot down! If she has plenty of clothes then she wears them, she needs to learn that money doesnt grow on trees and that being a brand/fashion snob will do her no favours and make you broke.

ASDA George 👍

My parents used to buy me a monthly bus pass (i needed one for school) and I would have the child benefit money as my allowance from age 11 -that would be for going out with friends, mobile top ups clothes, shoes etc. So about £15 per week circa 2000. I did do chores as well. Then I got a job at 15 so had that instead. Taught me to budget from a young age. Maybe set the CB rate as the monthly allowance?