Are you really that bothered about shared toilets?

[Beaverdam]

We were discussing this in work the other day. I really dont care about sharing toilets with males but some of the other women are really annoyed about the idea.

Are you annoyed about this? If so, what isit that you dont like about it? Do you think that the men will perve?

emilybrontescorsett

Decent men get very embarrassed sharing facilities with females
Obviously some men don't care but I don't value their opinion

I think the last two lines of your post summed up exactly how I feel about this issue.

I don't know if this is any way helpful contribution but I am a man who regularly cleans public access women's toilets. When I do I have a sign up at the entrance that says CLEANING IN PROGRESS - MALE CLEANER. In my experience most (not all, but most) women couldn't seem to give a hoot that a bearded bloke is scrubbing the toilet in the next cubicle while they are doing whatever they were doing in there.

And, as I also clean the Men's toilets next door, I can, hand on my heart, say the women's toilets are always messier. But more paper on the floor and more wee too - I regularly have to mop women's cubicles but hardly ever the men's. Whether this would change if men didn't have urinals in their toilets and were obliged to use cubicles as a matter of course I couldn't say.

Replying to the opening post:

Yes, I am bothered.
I wrote an answer explaining why, but we live in an insane world where lies are declared to be the truth, so I deleted it.

Separate male and female toilets please. If a mixed/undefined one is needed make another one.

At work we have mixed sex toilets and it doesn't bother me. We don't have the space to have single sex toilets so its not really something we can do much about anyway. There are also far more women working at my place than men. We also have two mixed sex disabled use toilets (though these are also open to all members of staff and some adult visitors too, they just happen to have disabled features in them) which are totally enclosed spaces with their own sinks. I tend to use those if I need to change sanitary wear.

In several pubs and restaurants the toilets are individual rooms and are mixed sex. They have their own sink and facilities and are floor to ceiling rooms with locked doors. They often open onto a corridor. These don't bother me either.

There are some places I wouldn't like it though - some places where the toilets are down some dark corridors, or hidden away down flights of stairs. And I wouldn't want the type of mixed sex toilets which have open urinals as well as toilet cubicles.

Mind you, I wouldn't dream of rinsing out a mooncup infront of anyone, make or female. I usually just empty wipe and replace. Heck I don't even do that in front of dh or dd. To be fair I have never seen anyone ever do that in public toilets. And I have never had to deal with blood on my hands that I couldn't wipe with a tissue. I can imagine it is far worse if you have that occur and can see why you'd rather have a toilet with its own sink tbh. I wouldn't want to be touching doors regardless of where I was if my hands were messy.

No no no. I do not want to share a loo with men. Did a running race in a big city recently and had to use a shared loo in the city centre afterwards. It stank of wee. Men standing peeing in cubicles with open doors , revolting. Wet floors and seats. Just grim and dirty. No way do I want to share or be stared at

I have to take medication that often gives my diarrhoea. It is horribly embarrassing in any shared toilet - I know that other people can hear and smell it. It's bad enough with other women there, having men there too would be so humiliating.

Like it or not, women are socialised to keep bodily functions private from men. Maybe this will change with younger generations, but it won't for my generation and upwards - and I'm only in my 40s, so women who feel like me will be around for many decades to come. Also, a minority of men get off on humiliating women and/or get sexual kicks out of bodily functions. I don't want to share facilities with them.

Yes, I really am that bothered about shared toilets. Not all men are perverts, but one pervert creeping around me in the loos is more than enough, thanks.

And perverts WILL come into the ladies toilets and perve at best, assault women at worst. And set up cameras etc. They do it now when it is more difficult for them. Of course they will do it more once it is made easier for them.

I don't think mixed sex toilets are necessarily going to be less hygienic, I've seen yucky women's ones. I don't want mixed sex because I don't want the added risk of being in an enclosed space where I'm undressing (as much as needed to use the toilet) with a male. I don't feel comfortable with that. And it isn't beyond the realms of imagination to worry about weirdos setting up cameras etc because that happens. There is a genre of porn dedicated to it I believe.

Also, as a teenage girl I was always really self conscious when on my period with the noise of changing sanitary towels, using the sanitary bin. And that was in girls only toilets at school. I would have been mortified in a mix sex toilet with the possibility of there being boys in there.

The people who say they don't see/ can't understand the problem are usually thinking of themselves as a confident, strong, adult individual, and not considering girls of 8+ who should be able to go to the public toilets unsupervised without seeing an adult penis, nor elderly women, Muslim women, women juggling babies etc.

I think the problem is when people say "No I'm absolutely fine with it so everyone else should be" or something along them lines, Is that ok it's fine for you but not for other women. I have no issue sharing a toilet most times, I have no issue with a male nurse doing my smear test or do I ever request a female doctor etc. Doesn't mean I'm ignorant enough to assume every woman should be fine with this stuff.

People have their reasons and they're pretty valid IMO. Women have the right to feel safe and if that means having seperate toilets/changing rooms from strangers I dont see that as being unreasonable.

To add whilst I'm fine with most things my 12 year old sister would not be comfortable in a mixed toilet with grown men. Does that not matter to some people that young girls will be affected too not just grown women.

If they go ahead and roll out unisex toilets as a general thing, I just have images of some young 16 year old girl on a heavy period getting into a bit of a mess while changing and sitting in that cubicle until the toilets are totally empty scared to come out in case some 16 year old boys goes 'ooooh yuck, you've got blood on your hands!' Or silently being judged by the boys that have no idea about these things. It's not right. There's also the issue of a mother trying to use the toilet whilst keeping an eye on her young kids, they often don't close the door for obvious reasons. What will they do then? Let a hoard of men gawp at them? No thanks. We can dilly dally around all we like and try not be sexist in pointing out the obvious but men are generally more likely to be sexual predators against women than vice versa. That's why women don't want to share. End of

NeedanExpert, so you would rinse out a mooncup in front of other women? That's really not normal behaviour.
The only mixed sex toilets I've ever seen are enclosed cubicles, with the sink inside. I don't have a problem with those. But I would have a problem with mixed toilets with separate sinks. I think it's the idea of a separate space away from everyone else where women could be potentially vulnerable.

When I do I have a sign up at the entrance that says CLEANING IN PROGRESS - MALE CLEANER. In my experience most (not all, but most) women couldn't seem to give a hoot that a bearded bloke is scrubbing the toilet in the next cubicle while they are doing whatever they were doing in there.

Speaking for myself only, I feel more comfortable in that situation firstly because I've had warning which I appreciate, and also because it is a cleaner who is employed by a company so he's "officially" there. I feel he would be less likely to do something untoward as it's his job, and he doesn't have the anonymity that would allow him to commit a crime in the way that any old man walking into a public toilet from the street would have.

I've seen the mooncup out in public. It isnt appropriate in front of anyone IME.

If they are individual rooms with sinks etc inside, and they're kept clean - fine. But mixed cubicles with seperate sinks? No way, I just wouldn't feel safe at all. I know most men aren't going to be out to do me any harm, but I'd still feel uncomfortable.

Hate it. Years ago I was in a club which had a shared hand washing/drying area then two tunnels which led to male & female toilets respectively. I was followed into a toilet on a couple of occasions & as a result stopped going there. I felt unsafe & I would feel unsafe doing so now. A completely separate cubicle leading off an open corridor would be a bit different but I agree that cleanliness would be an issue too.

Unless they are individual cubicles with floor to ceiling doors, and a sink, No, I don’t want to share.

Things I have used public toilets for:

• check my appearance/ do make up
• change sanitary protection (noisy!)
• deal with a miscarriage
• express breast milk
• get changed
• take refuge from an intimidating male if out in a bar/ club etc
• see to my children, and I might need to leave the door open to keep an eye on the pushchair

Shared experiences for many women, therefore I don’t feel self conscious or concerned about doing these things with a woman on the other side of a paper-thin wall, but don’t want a man in close proximity.

I’m bothered.
I don’t feel comfortable or safe in a mixed sex toilet and I don’t feel comfortable sending my daughters into them either.

Mixed sex spaces are statistically less safe for women than single sex spaces so why on Earth are they being implemented....

We had unisex toilets at my old work. Three enclosed cubicles and a shared sink.

It was embarrassing dealing with period rustling. I could hear men moaning birthing a big poo and they left messes.

I was breastfeeding and the only place to express was in the toilet cubicle. I heard it ALL in there and had to listen to music do drown out their farts and plops. It was mortifying to know they could all hear my electric pump whizzing too though.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras
The men's toilets at your place of work had glory holes????

Not just one, either! One of them was in a pub I worked in, the other was a place with a large, constantly changing group of young male workers.

There are shared toilets on my floor at work. Well toilet. A male Colleague shits every break (school) for 10 minutes leaving any other staff having to walk to the other end of a long school building to the other toilets. It also stinks the corridor out.
It used to be just female with the male
Downstairs but that is now an accessible toilet for pupils (acts as a changing room too)

Wouldn't bother me - we have unisex loos where I work.

I’m bothered and angry about women’s spaces being taken away.