Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men sat in women's changing rooms

449 replies

nycfrog · 03/11/2019 12:03

AIBU to get annoyed with women who plop their (male) SOs on the stools/seating in changing rooms?

Yesterday I needed the store assistant to help me with the back of a dress - on the way out of the changing rooms I realised my bare back had basically been exposed to a random bloke sat at the entrance. I know the shop assistant probably could have been more discreet but aibu to think they could sit somewhere else?

OP posts:
Igotthemheavyboobs · 03/11/2019 20:20

IfNot

Just going to ignore the fact they also sell mens clothes then yeah?

DuMondeB · 03/11/2019 20:20

To hell with the women who want their husbands around

Women who want their husbands around can have them, everywhere EXCEPT FOR SINGLE SEX spaces.

I love my husband but that doesn’t mean I get to take him in the ladies with me. Surely this is obvious? 🤷‍♀️

IfNot · 03/11/2019 20:22

To hell with the women who want their husbands around. Their needs Are less than yours.
Needs? The women need their Hubbies to be there, sat on a chair, in the WOMEN'S changing room? I think I just feel a bit sorry for women like that if I'm honest.
But yeah. The right of women to be able to get changed without men gawping most definitely trumps your need to do a twirl for hubby. HTH.

IfNot · 03/11/2019 20:24

New Look doesn't sell men's clothes. Nor does Top Shop. What are you on about?

Igotthemheavyboobs · 03/11/2019 20:26

IfNot you are incorrect I'm afraid, New Look does sell mens clothes and Top Man is often in the same shop as Top Shop.

LovePoppy · 03/11/2019 20:26

The right of women to be able to get changed without men gawping

Because all men are obviously Pervy?

Jeez. I’m all for safe spaces, but come on.

Change areas where I am have been co-Ed for years without issues. I’m honestly not understanding the drama.

Re:needs, upthread women were told they can’t have their partners Help at night in hospital, that’s what I meant by needs. But fair, I wasn’t clear there.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/11/2019 20:27

Yes they all do that. I did something similar myself at 12-1st time I went shopping alone. So you send them back to return for something appropriate. Lesson learned. It's called parenting. Or, it is now. It used to be called common sense.

Err, or you go with them and make sure they get what they need. You know, because I'm paying for it and don't have the time to be trundling backwards and forwards to the shops with them.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/11/2019 20:30

. I just don't think men generally frequent teen fashion shops.

Have you actually been into them? There are lots of men in there - dads, husbands, boyfriends, friends, brothers...it's ridiculous to be so shocked that men might go into a clothes shop.

IfNot · 03/11/2019 20:31

I don't care if they are pervy or not. I don't want men gawping in women's changing rooms. It's really simple.

V1daw1inter · 03/11/2019 20:33

He was in the corridor by the entrance, not the changing room.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 03/11/2019 20:33

I don't care if they are pervy or not. I don't want men gawping in women's changing rooms. It's really simple
No one is saying they should be IN the womans changing room. Just that the MAIN SHOP is not a female safe space and men should not be banned from those areas or women made to feel bad that they enjoy shopping with males.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/11/2019 20:34

I don't care if they are pervy or not. I don't want men gawping in women's changing rooms. It's really simple.

Nor in a shop that sells mens clothes as well as womens judging by your comments.

LovePoppy · 03/11/2019 20:35

Obviously we have different definitions of “gawping”. Any man I’ve ever seen waiting on their partner has their face stuck in their phone.

IfNot · 03/11/2019 20:35

For the hard of thinking: I'm not "shocked" that men go into clothes shops. I just find it unlikely that a man might be browsing in a teen clothes shop buying clothes for his daughter. It's not that complicated. I'm sure all the men you know regularly spend their time doing that, but it is not my experience.

LovePoppy · 03/11/2019 20:36

But awesome job ignoring my point re needs.

Impressive mental gymnastics

DuMondeB · 03/11/2019 20:37

Some branches of New Look used to stock Menswear (and they had a few Menswear only stores) but now the entire range is online only:

www.drapersonline.com/news/latest-news/new-look-to-axe-menswear-from-stores/7035277.article

I guess selling men’s clothing from a store associated with teenagers and very young women wasn’t a commercial success!

IfNot · 03/11/2019 20:41

Poppy I don't think men should be on maternity wards all night either but that is many other threads. I'm sure you can find them on here. And the gymastics are not coming from me. It's incredibly simple. Many women are very uncomfortable with men in women's areas. The wants of individual women do not trump the rights of women in general. The end.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 03/11/2019 20:44

DuMondeB my local New Look still had the mens section last time I was in there 🤷‍♀️ doubt the change had anything to do with what you are suggesting and more about giving floor space to the ranges that sell best

As that website itself shows, they have a children's line, 9-15. Do you think a man shopping with his 9 year old daughter is a pervert? Which is what is seemed be suggested by certain posters. Because all 9 year olds are just sent to town on their own to buy their clothes.

V1daw1inter · 03/11/2019 20:51

No Ifnot but the majority of women want to go shopping with their menfolk and are happy with them sitting outside changing rooms.

IfNot · 03/11/2019 20:54

Oh OK. I guess I don't know any "menfolk" ...Grin
PS New look where I am has no men's stuff and never has.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/11/2019 20:57

Oh OK. I guess I don't know any "menfolk" ...grin
PS New look where I am has no men's stuff and never has.

How odd that you don't know any men and it's immaterial whether your local New Look has sold mens clothes - others have done, men will be in there buying clothes etc for or with females in their lives. It's ridiculous to suggest that any that are in there are only in there to perv.

LovePoppy · 03/11/2019 21:00

Poppy I don't think men should be on maternity wards all night either but that is many other threads.

Oh of course it is. Because it doesn’t fit as nicely into your narrative that my needs of having my partner help after birth are less than other women’s wants/needs

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 03/11/2019 21:02

New Look doesn't sell men's clothes. Nor does Top Shop. What are you on about?

Top Shop definitely does have Top Man in there too, at least it did when I was last in there admittedly ages ago so could have changed

ThatMuppetShow · 03/11/2019 21:04

but the majority of women want to go shopping with their menfolk and are happy with them sitting outside changing rooms.

to be fair, the whole point of a changing room is to give you privacy. If someone wants to saunter around OUTSIDE of their private changing room, complaining that someone might see you is just ridiculous. Grin

Most normal shoppers manage very well to use the changing rooms as they are intended to - and would point blank refuse communal rooms. But someone sitting at the entrance? Seriously?

Even someone sitting IN another changing room shouldn't be able to see you if you are using your own properly.

Swipe left for the next trending thread