To be unbelievably pissed off

[Pistwe]

Travelled 3.5 hours to see OHs friends for the weekend . Toddler and heavily pregnant .

Left early Quick pasty lunch on motorway Plus sand which for toddler .

Arrive straight to OH friends . Sit for a bit . Agreed before we left that toddler ( and I ) must eat a proper meal before we go to an outdoors event .

Long story short . Didn’t get a proper meal as he didn’t plan properly and no time to eat and seemed happy to let eating go , couldn’t make scene in front of his friends . My toddler has had a bag of chips for tea . The half hour event actually lasted three hours in the freezing cold . The toddler has gone to sleep without eating . We are still waiting for some food , and I feel sick .

AIBU for being completely pissed off with him for making us miss a meal and keeping us outside in the fucking freezing cold for hours longer than we were told .

Do men know what the fuck pregnancy feels like .

Why on Earth is it your husband's job to feed you? Are you not capable of organising and sorting provisions for yourself? I'd have sorted a bag of snacks, supermarket sandwiches, nuts, fruit etc particularly if I was pregnant! Unbelievable that you think it's his fault/all up to him

Why didn't you just get chips as well? It's obviously not the healthiest meal but it wouldn't hurt as a one off

Shox also thinking about it the place that the chips were bought wouldn't just sell chips so an opportunity to buy a fish supper presumably.

Its really sad that this has been your experience of having children with someone.

I was being slightly tongue in cheek, but I do think blokes will be blokes. I didn't have a terrible second pregnancy in terms of how my husband treated me, thank you for your concern, but you have to carry on as normal when you've got a toddler to deal with as well. If I say to my husband "I'm upset because... " he will be devastated and move heaven and earth to make it up to me, but it won't occur to him that children need to eat or they'll get grumpy (or that I need to eat or I'll get grumpy) - I have had to learn to COMMUNICATE so we're all sorted and have a good time. I've also had to learn to be very clear in communicating what I need HIM to do and never assume he'll do anything I need him to without being asked (he might, but that was just luck). Men and women do not and will never think in the same way, we are wired differently. Women instinctively prioritise feeding their children, men do not.

Indeed @rookiemere
Maybe even a saveloy or a pickled egg

You sound like hard work. A bag of chips is fine as a one off. Couldn't you get burger/hot dog at the event? Presume it was fireworks?

I don't think I would have driven that far and taken a toddler to that sort of event tbh.

If you weren't staying over your DHs friend probably didn't factor in feeding you.

Next time stay home! If you do go then really you need snacks for toddler.

freshstart I know it sounds sexist but groups of blokes don't prioritise food when they're hosting do they?

Why didn’t you grab some food when you got your dc their chips?! This seems weirdly like you’re looking for an excuse to be pissed off, if you were hungry you should have eaten, I don’t get why you didn’t, or didn’t speak up and mention you were hungry.

He’s being an arse but ffs woman speak up
No, I AM taking the buggy, I want to go and eat now, dc is hungry so we need to get some food, I want breakfast etc

I will be sure my daughters don't feel that way
Absolutely agree that we should be setting a good example for our daughters of how women should be treated, but I was attracted to my husband because he was blokey bloke so I've had to train him :-) And he's had to tell me when I've been a control freak, done everything myself while seething with resentment, then got angry because he didn't even notice. He now does a lot more cooking and cleaning than I do, and I do a lot more driving the kids to and from activities. Marriage is a work in progress. So yes, we're in a happier place now but it wasn't all misery back then (DD2 is now 11).

@converseandjeans Ha ha, no - beers and bags of nuts is hosting, right?!

Why does your OH think that he gets to decide this stuff. He doesn't want the pushchair for whatever weird reason, no you and DS need it.

Don't feel bad about the chips- as a one off it'll do no harm at all. I'm not sure why you didn't eat at the same time? Did he stop you saying he had plans for later?

Can you speak OP?
Like use your voice to say words?

Words such as

'I am taking the pushchair'

'We need food'

'I am hungry'

'We will need breakfast'

I suggest you try it sometime and stop doing everything your DP says.

What has your DH said when you have discussed the evenings events with him?

You're being far to dramatic over this, your toddler had a sandwich at lunch time and chips for tea, not the most healthy but fine as a one off.

Who made your DH the decision maker on the pushchair?

You also sound ridiculously angry.

I think OP may have stopped reading this thread!

Converseandjeans Read your post back to yourself-are you day drinking? Seriously she's "hard work"expecting a meal after traveling that long and pregnant?

@EKGEMS Probab;y wasn't the best way to put it, but have to say whole thread has kept me entertained because I'm so glad i'm not there anymore. This is why women are often attracted to older men who have a little bit more experience and realise that they do have to prioritise their wife and children over their fun sometimes.
I just think this sounds like OP's DH was looking forward to getting back to his home town and getting together with an old mate, and thought it would be nice to take the family along, but didn't really consider the logistics (because men tend not to do that in these situations). OP is angry because she EXPECTED him to plan in proper meals and so on, but it just hasn't occurred to him. He's not an awful abusive husband (unless there's more to this that's been unsaid), he's just been thoughtless. My husband would also have thought that we don't need the pushchair, because he wouldn't think ahead.

And pregnancy isn't an illness.

As PP have said, I find it really strange to read about a Mum calling their child “the kid”.... Just a bit disconcerting.

I'm a bit flabbergasted by this. OP, you are an adult and completely capable and responsible for ensuring YOU eat and at least 50% responsible for your son. Stop putting this all on your DP as though you are not capable of sorting any of this out. Chips as a meal once in a while is perfectly acceptable so your son did in fact get fed.

If you knew your son would need a buggy then you should have just taken the buggy. Unless you come back saying your DP physically stoped you putting it in the car - in which case, why the hell did you go away with him? Then frankly you are just as responsible for not taking a buggy as he is.

EKGEMS sorry but OP comes across as being a bit needy. Being pregnant doesn't stop you from sorting food out for yourself.
Toddler having chips for tea sounds OK as a one off?
Host does sound a bit crap - but probably he's not used to having visitors. He probably thought a bag of nuts would suffice 🤣

Converseandjeans She should've stayed home with the child and left her inconsiderate spouse and his awful friend

Yes I agree she would have been better off at home!

I meant for her to leave him to the activity with his friend and she stay home with the toddler and enjoy the free time not permanently leave the relationship